Dog Haikus

Sleeping here, my chin
On your foot--no greater bliss
--well, Maybe catching rats.

I love my master;
Thus I perfume myself with
This long-rotten squirrel.

My human is home!
I am so ecstatic I have
Made a puddle.

I sound the alarm!
Paperboy--come to kill us all--
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I sound the alarm!
Garbage man--come to kill us all--
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I am your best friend,
Now, always, and especially
When you are eating.

How do I love thee?
The ways are numberless as
My hairs on the rug.

I Hate my choke chain.
Look, world, they strangle me! Ack
Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack!

Dig under fence--why?
Because it's there. Because it's
There. Because it's there.

Look in my eyes and
Deny it. No human could
Love you as much I do.