My Journal--Sixth Month (Five Months Old)

June 4, 1999
Friday night

I can't believe it's been so long since I wrote anything here. Last Thursday we watched the children at church for the moms attending women's fellowship. Ellen did really well. Calvin did really well, too. He was very interested in watching everything going on around him. It's funny because he doesn't nurse as often as I expect him too. He gets distracted very easily. But I know he gets enough milk. lol (I am laughing because it's obvious by his size that he is getting enough milk.) He nursed for a little bit while I ate lunch, and also I was able to go in the other room, put him in the sling in the horizontal position and latch him on, and he nursed to sleep and slept for a little bit in the sling while I watched the children and cleaned up a little bit. That was nice.

I was able to carry Calvin in the sling most of the time. I don't know if I'll be able to do that again--the next meeting isn't until September, and I bet he'll be crawling by then and squirming to get down. He's growing up so fast!! I sure did ache later in the day, but I enjoyed watching the children and carrying Calvin.

He still nurses at night, and I don't expect him to quit that anytime soon. It's just way too easy for me to nurse him back to sleep, so I wouldn't want to give that up! I just turn on my side and plug in my breast. Nice and easy. Plus, I am hoping to use breastfeeding as a means of natural child-spacing, and nursing at night helps delay the return of fertility. Night-nursing also helps make sure he gets enough milk--this is especially important because he gets distracted so easily during the day. I honestly don't know how much he wakes at night, but I can tell when he wakes up a lot, and that's a way I use to gauge how well he is feeling... it seems that he wakes up more often when he doesn't feel well.

Last Friday we went to WIC. They checked to make sure Ellen's diet was good enough... their concern: she hardly drinks any cow's milk. Can you believe it?! Isn't that silly? She eats plenty of cheese and yogurt. Plus she still nurses. (The nutrition counselor we saw at WIC said, "They don't nurse forever." Duh. Oh, well. She was nice, she's just indoctrinated by her job.

The appointment was for Ellen, but I asked if she would weigh Calvin. I knew he was doing fine, but we don't go to doctor check-ups, and my curiosity makes me ask whenever we go to the WIC clinic. He was 19 pounds 14 ounces (90-95 percentile) and 27 1/8 inches long (75 percentile).

She was okay with the fact that we haven't fed him any solids yet, but she asked, "You're going to feed him cereal, right?" Ha ha! Somehow the subject got changed so I didn't have to answer that question. But my answer would be no. I don't plan on giving him infant cereal fortified with iron. I'd like to hold off on solids for awhile yet. The lady said that at the next visit (at the end of July) they will want to check Calvin's iron. Over my dead body they will. (Of course I didn't say that to her. :) )

Well, Calvin got a cold--I think perhaps from the visit to the clinic. He got it last Saturday, and still has it. :( He's a real trooper, though, and doesn't usually mind when I get the snot out of his nose using the "snot sucker." He has a cough. He doesn't cough all that often, but it doesn't sound very good when he does cough. :( Poor guy. But he is sleeping better now, so I know he feels better. Plus he wasn't so fussy today as he has been sometimes in the last week.

I think that part of the fussiness in the past week has been from teething, maybe? He likes to bite on things. The other night he seemed to be desperately biting the knuckle of my thumb (we found out he likes to chew on that, and on John's short finger, too) and then pulling off real quickly while still clamping down. I felt so bad for him.

Another cause of some fussiness is that the cold made it so he didn't sleep as well sometimes--the snot woke him up perhaps--so he was lacking in the nap category.

Speaking of naps! This is exciting for me! He has actually got on a little bit of a routine (of his own making, of course :) ). He wakes up at about 9:30 in the morning and takes a nap somewhere around 12:00, give or take a hour or so. He sometimes naps for a short time, but some days he'll nap about one and a half hours. Then later in the day he takes another nap, maybe around 4 or 5 o'clock. He goes to bed at around 10:00 pm.

I usually lay down in our bed and nurse him to sleep for the naps. I've told Ellen that if she lets me do that, then after that I can play with her. So she is learning to leave us alone while I do that. It doesn't take very long to nurse him to sleep for a nap, only about 5-10 minutes. He is really good about staying asleep when I unlatch and leave the room. (I always wish I could stay and sleep with him, but, sigh, it's just not always possible with a three year old who doesn't take naps.)

He still enjoys being in the sling in the kangaroo carry (facing outwards). His feet stick way up sometimes, and he puts his toes in his mouth. If he is fussy, putting him in the sling and walking around usually calms him. He is very happy in the sling when we go shopping. It amazes me how content he is.

I think I'll stop writing for now.

June 15, 1999
Late Tuesday night

Calvin is doing great. He is napping really well during the day (usually twice). He is sleeping good at night (he still nurses some, but I must admit again that I don't know how much since he sleeps with me). Oh, sure I write that, and he wakes up...

Ellen nurses about twice a day; today she only nursed once. She asked more, but I was able to distract her. I often offer her juice or something to eat instead, and she'll often agree to that. I still wish I felt like nursing her more. I think she'd benefit from me nursing her more often and longer, but I just can't do it. :-( Sometimes she'll ask to nurse when I'm on the phone. I'm sure she craves the attention.

By the way, I nursed Calvin while I typed the above paragraph and now is he back to sleep again. I guess he just needed a quick sip.

Did I ever write that Ellen can really make Calvin laugh? She seems to be able to do it better than anyone. John's pretty good at making him laugh, too, though.

Tonight we ate dinner in the room where the tv is (we call it the "end room") and watched "Touched by an Angel." We usually eat in the kitchen now (we almost always watched tv while we ate before Calvin was born), but at least once a week we eat in the end room and watch tv. Calvin sat on the couch next to his daddy while he (John) was eating. John had his arm around him. Calvin was content the whole time (for about half an hour)--and he had been a bit fussy for me today. It was so cute. I'm glad they like each other so much.

We gave Calvin a spoon to chew on since he isn't eating any solid foods yet. He seems to like the spoon quite a bit. :-) Another thing he likes it the sports bottle I got. He likes to chew on the straw. That kept him busy quite a while yesterday while Ellen and I ate lunch. I put water in the bottle and I guess he probably tasted a few drops here and there.

Yesterday we had an exciting day... it was hot so we ate outside on the back porch. Then we sat on a blanket in the front yard and Calvin loved it. He loves being outside. Ellen was lethargic from the heat, so I told her she could run through the sprinkler. That livened her up! I put Calvin's feet in the water a little. I'm not sure what he thought about it. Then we went inside, and we all took a warm bath together.

Calvin was exhausted after such a busy day and took a long nap. I think he was a bit fussy today probably out of boredom :-), and perhaps he was still a bit tired from yesterday.

I love to look at Calvin... at his cute head and neck and little shoulders and big tummy, dimpled fingers, and pudgy legs. I love the way his face lights up, and he starts to wiggle when he sees me. I love his huge toothless smile with one dimple. He is just adorable!!!!! I love him so much!

Ellen is wonderful, too! She has a big grin. She likes to stick her tongue out above her top lip (I think it's a habit!--I'm not sure but I think that may be why she has red, dry skin near her mouth). I enjoy talking with her. She is so smart. Today she said the cutest thing... We were sitting at the table playing with some play dough we made and I think she was sitting on one of her legs so that the circulation was being restricted and her leg was falling asleep. She commented, "My leg is going to bed." lololol

She has told me that she doesn't like it when I get mad at her :-(. When I start being a bit crabby to her, sometimes we will agree to "start over." And then we both get a good attitude, and we go as if I hadn't been cranky.

She has a vivid imagination. She likes to play school and church and dress up. She likes to paint.

One of my biggest problems these days is that I am afraid I am over-protective of her. I'm not over-protective at home, I don't think, and I don't really think I am at other places, but I seem to be so much more so than everyone else, so it makes me think I might be over-protective.

But I feel I need to watch her in a new situation. We visited the pastor's house for evening church Sunday night. Afterwards all the kids went out in the backyard and played. I went out there with Ellen, though none of the other parents went (I think those children were all used to playing together--we are newcomers, so that makes a difference, I think). I don't want to go into too much detail about this, but I do like to watch her when we go new places. That's normal, isn't it???? But how much should I intervene in her playing with them?? The yard was not child-proofed. There was a boy who was quite rambuncious and made her fall. Then later on they (Ellen and the boy) even ended up wrestling--rolling on the ground holding on to each other. ack! The other kids were all jumping off the porch. If I hadn't been there, Ellen probably wouldn't tried to do it too. That scares me.

Sigh............... I'd rather they just all keep their hands to themselves and act like little ladies and gentlemen. :-)