My Pregnancy Journal


Pregnancy Symptoms
This Month

  • Starting to wear maternity clothes
  • Sore/sensitive nipples
  • I threw up once; sometimes when I brush my teeth I feel like gagging
  • Heartburn
  • Go to bathroom often
  • Headaches sometimes
  • Rarely nauseous
  • Not as hungry
  • Not as tired
  • My milk supply is diminishing; Ellen is nursing less and less
  • At 15 weeks felt flutters in my tummy

June 2, 1998

12 weeks
I am not sure what to write tonight. I feel huge, but I am afraid that most of it is fat. I think I may have gained a couple more pounds (my scale is hard for me to read)... that would put me at a weight gain of about 5 pounds.

This past weekend I got out my pregnancy clothes. Most of them are size "small," and I know some of them will be way too small this time around! It was fun looking at the clothes. I tried some on. I sure do swim in most of them (thank goodness). I've worn a couple of the shirts this week and am even wearing a pair of maternity pants right now. They are nice and comfy.

I had thought that maybe my nipples were becoming less sore, but I was wrong. And they are incredibly sensitive. But I am not going to quit nursing just because of my discomfort. I feel that our breastfeeding relationship is too important to Ellen and me. I just have to be careful not to make her feel like she is hurting me when she nurses. I wince sometimes when she latches on. :(

I went to a children's resale shop this weekend. I got some neat books plus I got a Baby Bundler (an infant carrier which consists of a long length of fabric which you wrap around yourself and the baby--you can wear your child in the front or back) for $10.00. It looks like new. I had wanted a Baby Bundler, but I didn't think we'd be able to get one since they are $40.00. I am really excited to have found this one! It's purple. Even though Ellen is probably a bit big for it, I tried the Bundler on her. She really liked it a lot! I can't believe how comfortable it is (though Ellen is a bit heavy for me... I'm used to carrying her on my hip in a sling). The Bundler evenly distibutes the weight, and the fabric is so soft and stretchy. Plus, there's no way Ellen could've fallen out of it. I really like it, and I can't wait to try it with our little baby!! :)

I love my little Ellen bear so much, I don't know what I'll do when I have two children. It makes me feel so sad to think of how quickly Ellen is growing up.

June 5, 1998

12 weeks
Okay, here is a quick update... I went to the midwife today. John and Ellen went, too. It was really neat. The midwife explained lots of interesting things. She explained about the urine test and what the little colors on the stick mean. We talked a little about nutrition. I should try to eat protein and carbohydrates together... and eat every two hours. I found out that my blood pressure is low. It's normal, but I just have to be careful to drink lots of water (I can't remember why?) or else I will be more likely to get dizzy and lightheaded. It's important to drink lots of water for many reasons. It's helps reduce bloating. Also, it's better for baby's environment. She explained it this way... baby is in a "swimming pool." His water should be clear, not murky. If I drink enought water, it will help the water to be clear... if I don't, it will be murky. I'd say that's incentive enough for me to drink more water!!

We also got to hear the baby's heartbeat. The heartbeat was 160... a normal heartrate. Ellen watched and listened, and she wanted to listen to her "tummy," too, so the midwife put the doppler on Ellen's heart, and she got to hear her heart. :-) Ellen and midwife seem to get along well.

Oh, one more thing before I go to bed. I threw up today! It's the first time since I got pregnant that that happened. I guess it was partly because I was in such a hurry to get ready to go to the midwife's. I was brushing my teeth and felt like gagging. I've had this happen before, but I have always been able to avoid throwing up. This morning it all came up... my oatmeal, that is. I hadn't eaten much the night before, so I wanted to make sure I had a good breakfast. I had a nice bowl of oatmeal. Sigh... oh, well. :)

June 15, 1998

13 weeks... I will be 14 weeks tomorrow.
Not much exciting has been happening lately. I got heartburn several times this week. My midwife said to try papaya enzyme for my heartburn. I think it tastes yummy. I think it is better than Tums. :) When I was buying the papaya enzyme at the health food store, the lady behind the counter asked when I was due. I told her and explained why I was buying the enzyme. She said that she used to be a midwife and told me that to help combat heartburn I might also want to do these things... eat small meals throughout the day, make sure I don't slouch while I am eating... sit up straight, don't lay down after I eat, and don't eat really spicy food. It seems to be helping.

Last week when I talked to my LLL leader about my feelings about nursing Ellen while pregnant, she was very encouraging. She nursed one of her daughters while she was pregnant, so she really understood where I was coming from. She used this phrase to describe how you feel sometimes when nursing when you are pregnant... you get the "heebee geebies" (sp?:)). I thought that explained it so very well! It helps just knowing that I am normal for feeling this way sometimes.

I am wearing more and more maternity clothes. :) It's fun.

I'll try to write more soon. I just can't think of much right now... I've got to go eat something.lol

June 20, 1998

14 weeks
Well, I've started the second trimester now. I have no reason to think that anything is wrong, and I know everything is probably okay, but I get nervous sometimes thinking that maybe something has gone wrong. What if my baby is not growing right? What if my baby is dead? I know these are horrible thoughts, and I suppose I shouldn't think them. I know it will make me feel a lot better when I can feel my baby move! I've thought that perhaps I did in the past couple weeks, but I haven't recently, so that makes me nervous. Then I keep thinking, "Am I getting bigger?" My husband reassures me that my tummy is growing; and I look down there myself, and I guess it is getting a bit bigger, but is it really? I can't even weigh myself on our scale since it broke recently.

I still feel pregnant... I have sore nipples; I have to go to the bathroom more often than I would like to; I get hungry more often than normal; I get heartburn; and I get headaches every once in a while. But since I feel better in other ways than I used to (I have hardly any feeling of nausea now, and I'm not quite as tired) that makes me nervous, too.

Baby, you must be okay, though. I know you are. I just worry about you. I want so much for you to be okay. I don't remember being worried like this with my first baby. I guess I am worrying more now because I am on an e-mail list and other moms on the list have had miscarriages, plus my friend had one. But I know that since I am past 12 weeks, that the chances of miscarriage are a lot less than they were.

So I need to be positive and trust that God has everything in His control.

June 23, 1998

15 weeks
Today I talked to the lady who I think will be our Bradley childbirth instructor. If we decide to take the classes from her, they will start on July 18th. Kind of early, but she said that earlier is better than later because they have nutritional information that would be good earlier in the pregnancy, and it would be good to learn the exercises earlier and practice them.

The other lady I considered having as our instructor isn't starting the session of classes that I would attend until September and the last one would be on December 9th. Since Ellen came about 10 days early, I'm wondering if I wouldn't make it to that class since I am due on December 16th. I know there's no promise that this baby will be early, too, but I can always hope (just a little early would be great).

The lady we will probably take classes from sounded like she really believes in what she teaches. I was impressed to find out that she had a natural birth for her twins--and they were even breech! That's amazing in this day and age.

And guess what... Ellen is going to stay with John's mom during the classes (each class is two hours long). That will be a huge step for us. We almost never leave her with anyone. We are pretty certain that she will enjoy her time away from us. John said she'll probably be glad to get away from us and that when we leave she'll probably cheerfully say good-bye while we are feeling all sad about leaving her. But I'm sure she'll be very happy when we come to pick her up. . . I know we will!

I guess I had better mention something about how nursing Ellen is going. We're doing okay. She is nursing less and less. . . a little in the morning and a few quick times throughout the day and then at bedtime. My nipples are so sensitive (and usually sore, too, but the sensitive feeling is worse than the soreness) that sometimes I can barely stand it when she nurses. I feel so bad saying that. I am so sad that she is nursing less (sometimes I almost feel depressed about it), yet of course I am also relieved. I want to enjoy our time nursing together, but it is so hard. Sometimes I cut our nursing short by saying, "Are you done?" or something like that. And I offer her food or drinks sometimes when she asks to nurse. I realize that some of the things I am doing are ways to encourage a child to wean, and I'm not doing it to try to make her wean. I actually want her to continue nursing and will be so sad if she weans.

My milk supply is getting less and less and pretty soon my milk will start changing to colostrum. So we'll see what happens. I've heard that sometimes children who wean during pregnancy will start again after the baby is born, but Ellen will be three. I wonder if she weans if she will nurse after the baby is born. I rather hope she will. I think it would help me cope with the feeling of sadness that I am sure I will have when I compare the little baby to Ellen and realize how big Ellen is getting. I also think it would help create a special bond between her and her sibling if they nursed together. But I know that tandem nursing can be difficult. I will continue to nurse Ellen if she needs it. I think that should be my primary concern. . . meeting her needs. It's important for me to remember that I can't make Ellen nurse; she will wean when she is ready, not when I am ready.

I just am so glad that I didn't get pregnant sooner. I would not want to go through this with a child any younger than Ellen.

June 27, 1998

15 weeks
I think I felt the baby move last night after I went to bed. I really felt fluttering in my tummy. It didn't last long, only a few seconds, but I think that might've been the baby. I also felt a couple flutters today. I hope it's the baby!!

I am still looking around to see if there are any other childbirth classes in our area that I might be interested in taking. Maybe I shouldn't make such a big deal about it, but I really want to take the right one.

When I read Ellen a story while she is sitting in my lap, it feels weird to have her lean against my bulging tummy. I can't imagine how strange if will be when my tummy is really big!

Although I am becoming more and more certian that my tummy is indeed getting bigger, I'm not sure how much I weigh because our scale is broken. My mom's scale says I am about 136 pounds. Since, according to my scale (the one that is now broken), I started my pregnancy at about 127, I appear to be gaining weight, and that's what matters. (I started my first pregnancy at 114. I was in such good shape then. I have lots more flab now. Sigh.)

I am trying to start drinking red rasberry leaf tea everyday. I know it's going to get real old as the days go by, but I've heard it's very good for pregnant moms to drink. Ellen thinks it's fun to drink a little bit of tea, so she's been reminding me about the tea the past few days.


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