Nursing my toddler

I am a newly-single mom of a 34+ month old little boy. When my son was diagnosed with severe food allergies at 13 months old, the pediatric allergist suggested that the longer my son nurses, the better his chances of having a lower number of allergies and less severe reactions. The doctor indicated that nursing until my son was 3 would really help.

So, here I am. I never really thought about how long I would nurse until that appointment, when I decided to try and stick it out until the 3rd birthday. Nursing was always very difficult for us, with over 9 months of cracked, bleeding nipples, blocked ducts, mastitis and every other painful element I've ever heard of, until he was pretty close to 2 years old; and yet, I stuck it out because it never really occurred to me to do anything else. Breastfeeding has always been the definition of how I parent my son, and we just found a way to get through it.

When I made the decision to separate from my husband about 8 months ago, breastfeeding became quite an issue. My son is even more sensitive to routine than average toddlers, and our nursing routine is the one thing that I count on for security - probably more than he does. On the other hand, what were we going to do about visitation with his father if he still needed to breastfeed? We tried a few months of visits after the morning nurse and back before bed, but my son wanted to sleep at Daddy's new apartment. We tried it once, and have never looked back.

There are now 2 nights a week when my son sleeps at his Dad's, and I don't nurse for 36 or even 48 hours at a time. I've also had to go back to work now, so my son is in daycare full-time. That dramatically affects nursing time. But what we've found is that there's still always enough milk to meet my son's need, and that we both look forward to nursing - in a way that is far more special now than it has ever been before.

When will I wean? Whenever it happens. Can I keep myself from swearing at people who feel they have a right to comment or judge me - because I'm a pioneer in this culture of women who have chosen for decades NOT to breastfeed their older children? So far, so good. Why? Because every single day, my incredible, precious little boy gently puts his hands beside my breast, smiles at me with the most adorable look on his face, and says "Mommy, I l..o..o..o..ve my milks!" Nothing will ever come close!

Lisa Bogdonov - Hartley's Mommy

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The image of nursing toddler is copyright 1997-99 Lori Thompson Photography. Used by permission.
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Nursing a Toddler
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