You know you're a Mom when:

• You count the sprinkles on each kid's cupcake --
  to make sure they're equal.
  
• You have time to shave only one leg at a time.
• You hide in the bathroom to be alone.
• Your child throws up and you catch it.
• Someone else's child throws up at a party.
  You keep eating.
• You've mastered the art of placing large quantities
  of pancakes and eggs on a plate without anything touching.
• Your child insists that you read "Once Upon a Potty"
  -- out loud in the lobby of Grand Central Station
  -- and you do it.
• You cling to the high moral ground on toy weapons;
  your child chews his toast into the shape of a gun.
• You hope ketchup is a vegetable,
  since it's the only one your child eats.
• You can't bear the thought of your son's first girlfriend.
• You hate the thought of his wife even more.
• You find yourself cutting your husband's sandwiches into cute shapes.
• You can't bear to give away baby clothes -- it's so final.
• You hear your mother's voice coming out of your mouth
  when you say, "NOT in your good clothes!"
• You stop criticizing the way your mother raised you.
• You donate to charities in the hope that your child won't get that disease.
• You hire a sitter because you haven't been out with your husband in ages,
  then spend half the night checking on the kids.
• You use your own saliva to clean your child's face.
• You say at least once a day, "I'm not cut out for this job",
  but you know you wouldn't trade it for anything.

  
  Confess! How many of you swore you'd never do some of the above?

  
  

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