You know you're Bengali, Pakistani, or
Indian if......
1. your dad is some sort of engineer or doctor
2. your mother has a short-haired, curly perm
3. your parents still tried to get you into places half-price
saying you
were 12 when you were really 15
4. you ask your parents help on one math problem and 2 hours
later
they're still lecturing
5. you have a 40 lb. bag of rice in your pantry
6. everyone thinks you're "Indian" no matter what part
of South Asia your
ancestors were from
7. you've had a bowl haircut at one point in your life.
8. your parents enjoy comparing you to their friends' kids.
9. you've had to sit through videos with scantily clad, ugly
Asian women
attempting to dance and walk around a temple, forest or library.
10. your parents say, "Don't forget your heritage."
11. you drive mostly Japanese cars.
12. you've learned to keep bargaining even if the prices are rock
bottom.
13. you know what's going to happen in every hindi movie before
it happens.
14. you've never gotten little red envelopes around February.
15. piles of shoes tend to make it hard to open the front, back
and closet doors.
16. your father and grandfathers have hair on their ears
17. idiot people try to impress you with pathetic imitation Asian
languages.
18. your ancestors 1000 generations back invented the back
scratcher.
19. at least one family member wears black wire/plastic frame
glasses.
20. your parents hover over your tired, caffeine-drugged body at
12
midnight to say, "In India (or other native country), we
studied even more."
21. your parents expect you'll be best friends with any one of
the street
in any given area as long as they are Asian.
22. an Asian woman comes on campus and people ask: "Is that
your mother?
Well then, is it your sister?"
23. your relatives' houses smell like incense, mothballs or both
24. your parents say, "Calculus? I took calculus in 8th
grade!!"
25. everyone thinks you're good at math.
26. you like $1.75 movies
27. you like $1.50 movies even more.
28. your aunts and uncles bring you back adorable clothing from
Asia
with fuzzy bunnies, vinyl ducks and English words that make no
sense,
in great colors like yellow, pink, magenta, orange and the ever
popular lime
green.
29. your parents insist you marry within your race.
30. you either really, really want to go to NYU or really, really
want to
stay away from it.
31. your parents have never kissed you
32. you learned about the birds and the bees from someone other
than your
parents
33. "You want a stereo!" When I was your age, I didn't
even have shoes!!"
34. you have to call just about all your parent's friends
"Auntie and Uncle."
35. you have 12+ aunts and uncles from both your mother's and
your father's side.
36. at expensive restaurants, you order a delicious glass of
water for your beverage
and NEVER order dessert.
37. your parents simply cut the green/black part off the bread
and say "Eat it
anyway. It's still good."
38. the vast majority of the people related to you wear glasses.
Thick glasses.
39. you will most likely be taller than your parents.
40. your parents have either made you play the piano, the violin
or both.
41 you get nothing if you do well in school, but crapped on if
you don't.
42. when going to other peoples' houses, you always have to bring
a gift.
43. your dad still pulls his socks up to his knees, you know, the
ones
with the blue and pink stripes at the top.
44. your family owns a tennis racquet.
45. your family always cheers for the Asian athlete on TV (i.e.
Michael \Chang)
46. the furniture in your house never matches the wallpaper, the
carpet, the
decorations or any of the rest of the furniture.
47. you have rocks, sticks, leaves and strange-smelling, unknown
substances
in your pantry for use as medicine.
48. you own a rice cooker for four.
49. you buy corn oil by the gallon.
50. your family owns butcher knives bigger than your head.
51. your parents tell you about how long it took for them to get
to school, how
horrible the weather was in their native country, and how much
they still appreciated
going.
52. your parents buy you clothes and shoes many sizes too big so
you can "grow
into it" and wear it for years to come."
53. your parents own two refrigeraters
54. you're not allowed to purchase anything unless you have a
coupon or it's on sale
55. Your parents favorite question at a restaurant - "do you
have extra
jalepenos/tobasco sauce?"
56. you're going to be the proud owner of your father's motel/dry
cleaners/gas
station when you grow up
57. your parents have to know your friends', father's, cousin's,
in-laws, dog's first,
middle and last name, as well as complete life history, before
they're acceptable