My corner

My Corner ~~

Well...Spring has sprung here and I'm busy in the garden now. Planting, weeding, digging, weeding and yet more weeding. Its a never ending battle, and its usually made worse by the helpful hands of a 3 year old little boy who just has to dig right there where my tulips are. Alex is such a helpful soul when you really don't need the help! But its fun and we get to be messy together.

Sometimes its difficult having the 3 boys and trying to find time for them as individuals. I'd like to carve out a space in time for each of them but sometimes life doesn't allow for what we'd like. The day starts off well and with the best intentions but then, little things creep in the mix. There's the phone, the doorbell, the laundry, someone's sick or I'm just running out of steam.

The best time is when I get to crawl in bed with one of them that night to read a special story just for them. My son, Alex, has a special spot where he has to lay while I'm reading, my arms curled around him as I'm trying to catch a glimpse of what we're reading. Ray, on the other hand, is getting older and doesn't really need to be cuddled all the time, just when he wants to. So we read to each other from a distance now, although I'm still aching to curl up with him. I'll take what he'll give me for now and just hope to get those squeezes in from time to time.

I'm still working on that time for myself each week. I'm craving some down time to recharge my batteries. It gets so hectic trying to wear all the hats for the family and it does start to wear me down. But I'm learning to put away my SuperMom cape every once in awhile and touch the earth. I think we build ourselves up into believing that we can do it all and when we don't accomplish that its a small sort of devastation. I'm realizing that the world won't stop spinning because I didn't finish sorting the socks. If I don't take a break every once in a while than alot more won't get done the next day. I'm doing so much better than I'll let myself believe, so I'm not June Cleaver or Martha Stewart, who is??!!

But if I love my children well, tell my husband that I can't do without him more, than I'll have achieved much more than a clean house could ever say. So, I'm picking up that book, or writing that letter to a friend or just out walking because I want to and need to. I left the laundry today to go window shopping, can you believe that?? I couldn't! I walked into a coffee shop, had a large mug and read a few pages in a new book and did it all without feeling guilty. This is such a milestone for me that when I got back everything looked so much smaller and easier.

Little Soldiers

Again today, the backdoor opens

A small face peeps inside

Looking up at me, heartbroken,

He silently begins to cry.

Holding my breath and calming myself

I call him over to me.

A stroke of my hand pushes back his hair,

I set him on my knee.

He whispers, "Mommy, why doesn't Mikey next door

Want to play with me and my soldiers?

His mom told me he couldn't play