As I reached the turning point past the middle of my life,
I looked back and saw only a life
filled with broken dreams and broken promises.
Those whom I looked to for fulfillment of my dreams
wounded me with their harsh words
that tore down my image of who I was and of my worth.
Some wounded me physically.
They all destroyed my ability to trust.
The minor wounds caused by others soon began to fester
as I repeatedly applied ointments
of resentment, bitterness, and self-pity.
Wounds that could have healed in time
became filled with an invasive infection
that impeded my ability to enjoy a normal life.
Impenetrable barriers were put up to protect the wounds
and to keep anyone from inflicting any more. These barriers kept out pain and joy alike.
The hope I had of someday finding joy in life
was replaced with hopelessness
when I realized that it was too late
to accomplish the dreams of my youth.
Long, lonely years of despair
were all that I could see ahead.
I have since learned that the one
who healed the blind and lame
on the dusty streets of Jerusalem, two thousand years ago,
and later bore his own wounds on the cross,
is the one who can heal these wounds.
Not only was he willing to heal others;
he was even willing to heal me.
All I had to do was allow him
to replace my self-destructive ointments
with his healing balm.
I also learned that the unfulfilled dreams
were only hazy images of deeper needs.
Even if the dream were to remain unfulfilled,
the deeper need could be met.
The love and acceptance I had sought from others
were gladly given by God.
To Him, I was a beautiful treasure of great worth.
He always had time to spend with me
and had high praises for my attributes.
He had, after all, created me
the way He wanted me to be.
His love was unlimited, unconditional, and unceasing;
not depending on my performance or accomplishments.
"Crisis" is defined in the dictionary
as "a sudden or decisive change
in the course of a disease."
I thank God for my mid-life crisis,
so there could be a change
in the course of my disease.
L.M.
Now Playing--"Another Time and Place"--Sandi Patty
Courtesy of NewSong Online Ministries
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