It all began with just one thought.
That's how it all began.
I thought that I wouldn't get caught--
That's just the way I am.
The thought was innocent enough--
As pure as the day,
But soon the weather got rough;
And my thoughts took me away.
Away to another realm
Where emotions ran very high.
Frustration took the helm--
Passively, I sat by.
After that, things happened fast--
I lost my way several times.
Even confronted my past;
It was unpleasant at times.
I wanted to be left alone--
Did not want to be bothered anymore.
Thought I could work it out on my own--
Behind a closed, locked door.
I dread each in-coming day;
Still don't understand why.
Still trying to find my way--
Uncertain of what I'll find.
Friends and family look at me.
They know something is in the way.
They really don't see--
It is always, "She's just that way".
They say that I'm different,
I suppose that it is so.
I'm not sure what's relevent--
How am I suppose to know?
Got to get back to the "real"me--
Will work it out somehow.
Why can't they just see?
It is a different "me" now.
It all began with just one thought.
It happened to my dismay--
The pain and sorrow that it brought;
You know, I'm still "just that way".
I may have seen the light--
Or maybe it saw me first.
The light seems very bright--
My thoughts are not the worst.
Still in my hole, I see
That I am trying to help me.
I don't feel the shame,
And no one is to blame.
I may have seen the light--
It is just out of my reach.
My thoughts try to leave the fight--
Lessons, my thoughts also teach.
Still in my hole, I begin to climb--
I seem to have a lot of time
To try and work things out,
And see what I'm really about.
I may have made a discovery;
At least I am trying--
It may aid in my recovery;
And make my thoughts stop crying.
I may have seen the light--
Or maybe it saw me first.
I know that I will reach the light--
I hope that it will reach me first.