Not So Soft




Lyrics to Ani's Song...


Space...

driving down the road
past the water plant
and it hit me
whatever it is
i don't know
i don't know
i don't remember

and the car hit a wall
and i found myself rolling
hard across grey pavement
until i lost my awareness
and woke up behind my
steering wheel in
a parking lot with
strangers with names
circling me like vultures
and i was caught
just caught

and it hit me as the door
opened, what are you doing
i don't know
what's wrong
i don't know
why are you doing this
i don't know
i'm crazy
no you're not
i'm crazy
i won't believe you
i'm crazy

if you turn around then
you'll see the world
and i spin and i
spin spin spin
in my concrete
phone booth all i see
are the dimensions of my
box not the world
that they feel

the air folds itself like
a paper fan and i ask
is it wrong to see the air
to see it swaying and moving
like a funky dance all
sexy and the anger or
sadness clouds my eyes
he says, girl, whoever
told you that feeling emotion
makes you crazy
and i say, i'm a stoic,
baby, i'm a stoic

give me your car keys, i'd
hate to have to act with guilt
and i think but that's
all anyone ever acts from
guilt and habit and let's
be real for once let's just
try it because you're guilty
now but don't admit it
or you'll feel dirty

my face is wet, a mess
it gets lonely in the car
by myself but i insist
i want to be alone
i want to be alone
i want to be alone
i forget if it is true or
not but it doesn't make
a difference because i'm lies

get something to drink
get something to eat
get something to make you
like us and i'd jump through
hoops for you, girl, i'd do
whatever except i don't
know because i don't live
where you do so tell me
but no you're not crazy
just tell me

my eyelids droop like
i'm drunk and i just
want sleep but i haven't
done that in days maybe
weeks and the water comes
in out of my eyes my nose
my mouth and don't worry
because if you turn around
in your metal box well
then you might forget and
that's when you drown

they all tell me that they're
here to help help help
help help help help help
but they don't know the problem
and i'm not so arrogant to
claim that i do either but
i don't try to slide into
solutions two sizes too small

i can't find a parking space
so i stop where ever i can and
wait for something for nothing
for god or jesus or a face or
a dream but it's not my color
and i find myself at home
with the empty garage and
posters on the wall
advertising for space and this
space concept has taken over
and i look around and see
so much room just room
just air and when it gets
fenced into a building
it can never be used that
empty space in a theatre is
just space for no one to sit
or act or think in just space
to be heated just space to
press dollars into and watch

and i think there's too much
space in my brain and the fence
i built like everyone else had the
wrong dimensions and now it's
too big too big too big
and the seven voices fill it up or
try but they can't and i've just
got too much space in the brain
and not enough space in the box




Backwards to Jukebox
Forward to Angry Anymore


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