WHAT YOUR MOTHER NEVER TOLD YOU ABOUT VIRUSES
We've all seen them - those emails and messages telling us that a new virus is spreading and it will wipe out your hard drive. Pretty scary stuff. If you are like me, you dont want to take any risks, but you also don't want to jump at shadows. How can you tell the difference? Having some information under your belt is the first step (I hope there's room under that belt, you might want to loosen it a notch.)
The first defense against viruses is a good virus checker. It is truly worth the investment to go to your local software store today and purchase one. And send in that registration form, that way you are entitled to the updates for all the newest viruses. I can't make a recommendation as to which one to buy, so do a little checking on the packaging. Something that I have set up with mine is that it checks all files before they are saved to my hard drive and checks the boot sector before I shut down. And regularly check the web site for your software for updates. Remember Mom telling you, "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure?" Mom was absolutely right.
Ok, we've installed our virus checker, what does it do? The company who developed the virus checker has to know about the virus that it is trying to detect. If you are the very first person to receive a particular virus, your checker won't detect it. What the company has done is write software to deactivate a particular virus. Therefore, until they've found out about it, they can't have their marvelous programers (usually former hackers) write the magic coding to neutralize the bad guys. This is why it is so important to check for the newest updates for your checker.
Now some facts. Most people I have talked to are afraid of email, after all, anyone can send you something, and your email package downloads messages without intervention from you. What can you do to protect yourself? The really good news is that you don't have to do a thing. A virus can't be spread in a email. Now this doesn't mean you can't get a virus from an email, but just by opening your email message a virus can not be activated. Reading your email is like reading a recipe. When you read a recipe, does it automatically mix up that dish and bake it? No, although some days that would be wonderful. Opening your email only lets you read it, it doesn't start anything (no baking here.)
Still a little leary about those emails? Good. Just don't be afraid to open the email to read it. What you shouldn't do is activate an attachment from someone you don't know. That's where you get a virus. Attachments are files that are not part of your email, but added to it. Not all attachments are capable of carrying a virus. A photo of Great Aunt Martha can't have a virus hidden in it. But an executable file can.
I've received messages that I shouldn't go to a certain web site because it will install a virus to your machine. Let's think about this calmly. First, if it could do that to your machine, wouldn't it do that to the machine it was stored on? Secondly, if you read a book about the end of the world, does that make the world end? No. Neither will reading a web page. What could get you in trouble is if you save something from that web page to your hard drive (such as an application.) I have a feeling that the owner of the web page starts those rumors to get more activity to the site, or that someone is really mad at them and starts the message.
Now my thoughts on chain letters. In themselves, they really aren't terribly harmful. Their real harm is what they do to the internet. Just imagine that at any one time the internet can carry a certain number of messages (whether email or someone requesting to look at a web page.) If you participate in sending chain letters, you are clogging the internet. We've all been on when we've wondered why it took so long for something to download. Chain letters are one of the main culprits. Be a good netizen and don't send any on that you receive.
Besides what they do to the internet, let's think about some of them. I've received some saying that if I send it on the Cancer Society will donate 50 cents for cancer research. Now think about this realistically -- isn't the Cancer Society the one who does the cancer research? Why would they be donating their funds for research and who would they be donating it to? I've also received messages saying that little Timmie is dying of cancer and that he wants this message to go around the world or some such thing. The creator of these messages want to see what havoc they can create and see how long these message will circulate. Again, be a good netizen and don't pass these on.
The number one rule regarding viruses and such is to think. Don't passively believe everything you read. Just because you received it from someone you trust, doesn't make it true. The culprits are counting on us to blindly act like sheep. If you have questions about whether a rumor is true, check it out. If you are concerned about a virus, check with your virus-checker company or the sources I've mentioned previously.
LOVE ON THE INTERNET
Just the term "Love on the Internet" sounds exotic, doesn't it? You picture yourself sitting at your keyboard typing witty repartee to that handsome/beautiful person across the country or on the other side of the world. In your mind as time goes by you develop a deep and caring relationship. As the story closes the final line is, "And they lived happily ever after. THE END."
It is possible. I do know several couples who have met over the internet and have plans to soon be or are living happily ever after. It is also possible to meet with heartbreak and disillusionment. This section won't have a bit of "techie" info. It will have personal information. After all, this may be a technical medium, but the person using it is very real and that's who I want to talk to.
The written word has always been a wonderful way to develop a relationship and to get to know someone. Some of our greatest writings and poetry are love letters. The internet increases the speed of this correspondence. What used to take days for a letter to reach someone now only requires minute seconds. And they said the art of letter writing had died. ("They" haven't seen my inbox.) I have never written as much as I have since I started using the internet.
There are lots of ways to meet people on the internet. One of the easiest is in chat rooms. As you've probably already gathered, my favorite is Yahoo Chat. To find places to chat, just do a search using chat as your criteria. There are also personal ads that you can join. It's just like the newspaper, except it reaches the whole world. Check out several to find the one that you are comfortable with. Each will have it's own comfort level and the types of people that gather will be similar usually. Pen pals are another way that you can meet a variety of people.
You've found your spot and now are ready to begin your search. Here are a few guidelines and some things I consider "absolutes" for you to follow. Most of this is from personal experience and watching what happens with my friends. These will get your started. GOOD LUCK!
Be yourself. If your goal is to just have fun, be as outrageous as you like. But if you are really looking for a meaningful relationship, start off on the right foot and let people know the real you. The only way you get to know someone on here to start with is by what is written. You can't hear the inflections of the voice or see the body language. That will have to come later.If you are chatting, pick a chat name that reflects who you are. If you want every guy to hit on you and make outrageous comments, choose a name like "Looking4sex". You will get exactly what you ask for. I never talk to anyone with names like that. I assume that they aren't my type of people. If you are serious about finding a relationship, stick with a less bold name. You will be more apt to attract the people you are looking for. Remember the line about first impressions, your name is your first impression on here. Keep it at a slow pace. This gives you plenty of time to find out if you truly have things in common. It's easy to say that we never do something, but only time can tell you for certain that this person isn't being truly honest. We all want to minimize our flaws, that's only natural. But if that flaw is something that another may find completely intolerable, it takes time to find these things out. Let's say for example that you HATE shopping. The lady you are talking to says she does too. But in the course of a few weeks you find that every time she has time on her hands she heads to the mall. She may not even realize that she spends so much time there, yet it would cause friction in a relationship. Time gives you a chance to find these things out. Be cautious of giving personal information. Until you are completely comfortable with this person give them only the most basic information. To get to know someone initially -- a first name, your occupation, and the city or area where you live is plenty. They don't need to know what company you work for, your street address or your phone number. This will protect you somewhat from some of the crazies that naturally haunt the internet. When the time is right, be completely open and let them know everything they need to know. If they won't give you the same information----RUN LIKE THE WIND. Only a person who is hiding something won't tell the person they supposedly care about the details that would let them know who they really are. Do you want to be involved with someone like that? Once you have this information, check it out. Does that phone number really work, is that a real address, are they really an employee for that company? Listen to your instincts. If something keeps nagging you that something isn't right, you can bet it isn't. Never discount your instincts. I have and always regretted it. Bet you have too. If something is bothering you, try to discuss it with that person. If you don't get a satisfactory answer, again RUN LIKE THE WIND. Don't do anything that you wouldn't do in real life or are uncomfortable with. If you would never date a married man/woman, why would you get involved with one over the internet? This doesn't mean you can't have friends that are married. Some of my most fun relationships are with married men on the internet. But we know that it's just for fun and that neither of us will take it further. I also won't stay in a room that has foul language, bigotry or hate. I don't tolerate it in real life and I'm not about to for fun.This brings up the subject of "Cybersex." Personally I won't do it. I don't believe in sex. I do believe in making love. Cybersex reminds me of one night stands. It's up to you, but be aware that you will be approached (both men and women) and decide beforehand how you'll handle it.
We are all real people on here. Just because we can't see someone's face doesn't make them any less real. As in real life, you will run across people you immediately click with and others that you instantly don't like. Remember that we all have feelings and they can be hurt easily. Most of the people you encounter will be nice people just like you, but there are some very cruel people out there who have no consideration for other's feelings. If someone you consider a friend warns you about someone, proceed cautiously. Know what your expectations are and what your motives are. Be honest with yourself. Are you in a bad relationship and looking for someone to "save" you? Just passing the time of day? Truly looking for a good relationship? Whatever your motives or expectations, don't let this replace living. If you have a family, don't abandon them for the promise of maybe finding someone (it's easy to do.) Don't let the internet replace living your life. Life happens in the real world. Living life involves contact with people - hearing them, touching them, doing for them and letting them care for you. My wish for you is that I can someday write about you and honestly say ----They lived happily ever after.
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