The Parenting Corner: General Thoughts

General Thoughts on Being A Parent

My thoughts on being a parent, which for me began over three years ago . . .

There is an incredible bond between a mother and her child. I don't know how it is for men and their children, but I, as a mother, can attest to the fact that I could not even begin to pretend that my child wasn't a huge part of my life. I don't know if it is the simple truth that Dagan is indeed a part of me physically. I feel like he is another part of me. I can't resist holding him close to me, breathing in his unique scent, and knowing that he is mine. I feel that this bond began before his birth, in utero . . .

When I felt Dagan moving inside of me, I knew (as I know now, pregnant with my second son) that I loved him. Totally and completely. No questions asked. As the months went by and I became larger with him, I felt very safe and secure knowing that he was so close to me. I even almost dreaded the day that he would part from by body because I had grown so content being pregnant with him. Then, after he was born (which is another story itself), I began to see him as a separate little being, so full of his life as well as some of mine. From the first day, I loved holding him to my body, exchanging body heat and pure baby love. I became a natural mother.

Previous to my first pregnancy, I felt that I would never be a good mom, or even enjoy kids. And babies! What mess, what work, what trouble! I just knew that I couldn't handle a baby. Then . . .

My first pregnancy was a beautiful "accident." I can't think of a better accident to happen. It taught me that I was indeed capable of fufilling the role nature had set out for me (pregnancy, childbirth, and breastfeeding), and that I could take care of and love a child. I fell into the work of motherhood with vigor, growing to love my child a hundred times more each day that passed. I still do. As he grows and learns more about becoming an individual (with all of the stress, frustration, and battles that go along with that), I simply glow with pride and happiness at what he has accomplished. His milestones are my milestones. While I can't imagine him as an adult (or the baby inside of me now as a 3-year-old), I know that he will continue to surprise me and inspire me to do the best I can for him. I love my children, and I love my husband. I love my life, and I'm very glad I am surrounded by such a loving family.

Monica Beyer 12-18-98

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