Mga Sari-Saring Dyoks in Pul Kolor Part Tu

Dyok #1

Promising

Dalawang babae ang nagkita sa isang HS class reunion:
TINA: Single ka pa? Akala ko engaged ka na sa isang promising young lawyer.
ISDAY: OO. Pero, he did not keep his promise.

----- oOo -----

Dyok #2

Tama nga naman

The pinoy interpreter was trying his best to translate what the Filipino witness is saying in a court case:

Witness: "Pagkatapos ng kung ano-ano ay nagdatingan ang kung sino-sino!"
Pinoy Interpreter: "After the what-what came the who-who!"

----- oOo -----

Dyok #3

Isang babae ang humangos sa Rizal Park Police station at nagsumbong na isang lalake ang yumakap at humalik sa kanya at pagkatapos tumakbo with her hand bag. When asked for the description of the man, walang masabi ang babae.
Pulis: Alas dose ng tanghali , bakit hindi mo namukhaan?
Babae: I'm sorry mamang pulis, I usually close my eyes when being kissed.

----- oOo -----

Dyok #4

Mountaindew

DADO:: Ano ang tawag mo sa babaing flat-chested?
ATO: Walandyo
DADO: Doon naman sa mga babaing ang dibdib ay katamtaman lamang?
ATO: Medyo.
DADO: Doon naman sa mga babaing ubod ng laki ng dibdib?
ATO: Mountaindyo

----- oOo -----

Dyok #5

Historical

ED: Pare,may problema ako sa kumare mo. Masyadong historical tuwing nag-aaway kami.
BERT: Baka hysterical ang gusto mong sabihin.
ED: Hindi, historical talaga, pare. Kasi pag kami nag-aaway, lagi na lang niyang inuungkat 'yung nakaraan.

----- oOo -----

Dyok #6

Kahit hirap mag-englis, panay pa rin ang ligaw ni Alfredo sa isang Amerikana:
KANA: I like men who are frank.
ALFREDO: My name is Alfredo, not Frank.

----- oOo -----

Dyok #7

KKB

Pagkatapos nang date nila, inihatid ni Tony si Tess anticipating a goodnight kiss.
TONY: Salamat sa date, ha? Sana maulit.
TESS: Okey lang, pero since Dutch treat tayo buong gabi, you kiss yourself and I'll kiss myself goodnight.

----- oOo -----

Dyok #8

Kapalit

Bagong kasal si Tina at kinakausap ng Papa niya ang kanyang napangasawang si Tonyo.
PAPA: Bilang manugang ko, bibigyan ko kayo ng malaking halaga upang magamit ninyong
puhunan subalit ano naman ang kapalit ninyo?
TONYO: Bibigyan ho namin agad kayo ng resibo.

----- oOo -----

Dyok #9

Isang Americano, isang Arabiano, at isang Filipino ang nakatayo sa isang street
corner sa Ayala Makati, one afternoon, when an spectacular Filipina beauty walked haughtily by them.
"By golly!" exclaimed the American.
"By allah!" sighed the Arabian.
"By tomorrow night!" said the Filipino.

----- oOo -----

Dyok #10

Katatapos lang basbasan ng pari ang isang presong nakaupo sa silya-elektrika.
PARI: "Mayroon ka bang nais na hilingin bago ka bawian ng buhay?"
PRESO: "Opo."
PARI: "Ano yon, anak?"
PRESO: "Pwede po bang hawakan n'yo ang kamay ko hanggang bawian ako ng buhay?"

----- oOo -----

Dyok #11

Filipino version of Forrest Gump

My name is Porrest, Porrest Goomp.
Inay always said that life is like a balikbayan box.

----- oOo -----

Dyok #12

Misis: Dir, bakit may black eyes ka?
Mister: Paakyat kasi ako sa eskaleytor sa megamol. Napansin ko na naipit 'yung mini-skirt ng babaing nasa unahan ko sa pagitan ng kaniyang puwit. Ini-stretch ko. Tapos, hinarap niya ako at sinuntok ako sa kaliwang mata.
Misis: Naiintindihan ko yon. Pero paano mo nakuha yung black-eye mo sa kanang mata?
Mister: E kasi, akala ko gusto niyang nakaipit talaga yung palda niya, kaya ibinalik ko ulit.

----- oOo -----

Dyok #13

The SETTING: Pageant Night Ms. Universe Beauty Pageant Q & A Portion

THE FINALISTS:
Ms. America
Ms. Spain
Ms. Britain
Ms. Philippines
Ms. India

QUESTION: Ms. America, how would you describe a male organ in your country?
MS. AMERICA: Well, I would say that, male organs in America are like gentlemen.
QUESTION: Why do you say that?
MS. AMERICA: Because it stands every time it sees a woman..........

(Applause...Aplause)

QUESTION: Ms. Spain, how would you describe a male organ in your country?
MS. SPAIN: Male organs in our country are like toros in our very own bullfight.
QUESTION: Why do you say that?
MS. SPAIN: Because it charges every time it sees an opening.

(Applause....Applause)

QUESTION: Ms. Britain, how would you describe a male organ in your country?
MS. BRITAIN: Male organs in our country are like Shakesperian actors.
QUESTION: Why do you say that?
MS. BRITAIN: Because it cries after every performance.

(Applause...Applause)

QUESTION: Ms. Iran, how would you describe a male organ in your country?
MS. IRAN: Well. I can say that male organs in Irans are like thieves.
QUESTION: And why do you say that?
MS. IRAN: Because they always enter through the back dooor...

(Applause...Applause)

QUESTION: Ms. India, how would you describe a male organ in your country?
MS. INDIA: Well, I can say that a male organ in India is like a labourer.
QUESTION: Why do you say that?
MS. INDIA: Because it works day & night.

(Applause...Applause)

QUESTION: Ms. Philippines, how would you describe a male organ in your country?
MS. PHILIPPINES: Ahh...well, opkors, hihihi...I can say dat male organs in our country are like chismis...
QUESTION: Chismis???
MS. PHILIPPINES: Ayy! Sorry...it's ano, ahh kuwan...it means GOSSIP in our language.
QUESTION: Hmm...Interesting comparison. And why do you say that?
MS. PHILIPPINES: Ayy...dyahe! Hihihi! Kasi... I mean...because...it passes from mouth to mouth.

(STANDING OVATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

----- oOo -----

Dyok #14

Thank you for flying Philippine Air Lines

Passengers on a Philippine Airlines flight heard this announcement from the captain, Capt. Juan Procopio:
"Mga kababayan, I am sorry to inform you that we have lost power to all of our engines and will shortly crash into the ocean". The passengers were obviously very worried about this situation but were somewhat comforted by the captain's next announcement: "Mga kababayan, we at Philippine Airlines have prepared for such an emergency and we would now like you to rearrange your seating so that all the non-swimmers are on the left side of the plane and all the swimmers are on the right side of the plane".

As commented by one of the passengers: "Galing, that's what I like about PAL, always has some contingency measures of some sort!, I hope they help me out coz' I definitely don't know how to swim."

After this announcement all the pasengers rearranged their seating to comply with thecaptain's request. Two minutes later the captain made a belly landing in the ocean. The captain once again made an announcement:
"Mga kababayan we have crashed into the ocean. All of the swimmers on the right side of the plane, open your emergency exits and quickly swim away from the plane. For all of the non-swimmers on the left side of plane
---THANK YOU FOR FLYING PHILIPPINE AIRLINES- " NGEEEE!!!