Question: I'm confused. Who is the real "father" of the homeschooling movement?

Answer: Depending on whom you ask, it's:

1. Raymond Moore
2. John Holt
3. Bill Gothard

4. Richard Fugate
5. R.J. Rushdoony
6. Charlotte Mason
7. somebody else you've never heard about, or
8. Any number of fathers who were homeschooling in the early 70's.

Question: How can you tell if someone is an "old-timer" at homeschooling?

Answer: Experienced and knowledgeable homeschoolers are easy to spot. The real old-timers predate the "homeschooling movement" and, no matter how well they've retained their youth, usually don't look like someone just starting out with their first kindergartner, even though they might still be teaching phonics to one of their brood.

The ages of their children, especially if they've never attended school, offers another clue. Having completely homeschooled young adult generally qualifies one as an "old-timer." These "old-timers" tend to be relaxed, confident, own a ton of books, have an anti-twaddle radar, possess a terrific sense of humor and/or an incredible amount of perseverance and vision, own at least one homeschooling tee-shirt, remember back when it was nearly impossible to get Christian textbooks, and know more than a lot of homeschooling authors do.

The real "old-timers" are stockpiling phonics materials as their home school "graduates" prepare to teach the next generation. Or, they're prepared to teach their adult children how to teach reading with just a Bible and a slate and maybe some index cards. And, if you happen to spot an "old-timer", consider yourself blessed and glean from her experience. And don't bother dropping names of homeschooling "fathers" around her; she may well have been homeschooling long before he ever heard of the idea.

Question: What is twaddle?

Answer: Twaddle comes in many shapes and sizes. Sometimes one mother's twaddle is another mother's favorite unit study. However, twaddle can be recognized by the following unmistakable symptoms:

1. It wouldn't pass muster with Charlotte Mason.
   
2. It has something to do with the fireman being our friend.
   
3. It's often found in curriculum materials catalogs designed for public schools.
   
4. You would be embarrassed to discuss it with the Shearers.
   
5. A reasonably conscious kindergartner already knows it.
   

Question: Recently I attended a state homeschooling convention. At least half the women there were wearing denim jumpers and had lots of children with them. If I decide to homeschool, will I need to buy a denim jumper and triple my family size?

Answer: Well, it depends. Some homeschoolers like to be nonconformists. In order to identify yourself as a nonconformist, you will need to wear the right kind of denim jumper, never cut your hair again, and have a larger than average family. All the boys will need to wear slacks and dress shirts whenever you're out in public and the girls will need to wear denim jumpers or pretty flowered dresses. Of course, if you don't care about being a nonconformist, this doesn't apply to you. You're free to dress however you choose.

Question: How can I get onto the cover of the Teaching Home?

Answer: Ask the Shearers. They have dedicated years of their lives in an attempt to grace the cover of that well-known magazine and have even written a song detailing their exploits. Then again, maybe you shouldn't ask them; they still haven't made it. Your best bet would be to have lots of multi-talented and photogenic children, and to spend your lives doing marvelous things while wearing matching Sunday outfits and posing in your beautifully appointed home.