Turn 'Sliders' off the TV, pop yourself a cool Smoothie, and sit back, hunker down, an settle into your seat....Its time for:

The Wedgie Page Updatte for Spring 1997

Yes, weve been gettin a bit behind in our lack of Wedgie Page updates--in arrears you might say. Ill try to pull a fresh one out atleast 3 more times in 1997. Usualy, my elastic, absorbant mind is good at pluckin out those updates and I appologize for this longstanding and rathor elongatted stain on my record.

So, forgeting whats behind, we once again darken the tourturrous path of Wedgeiana, makking our mark with this new deeper indepth study, ever pressing onward and upward into the lore and leggend of this noble ritual so indelibly ingrained and unerasabley burnt into the fabric of our life.

But first:

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DISCLAIMOR:
"Please be advised that The Wedgie Page is intended for very mature auddiences, or else extremly immature audeinces. Thank you."

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This Wedgie Page update is cleaved into sevoral parts. You may find you dont want to read it all in one day. So relax, take your time, read some now and some tomoroww in you like: Savor every dark corner. Heres how its SPLIT:

Oh, letters....Yes we get lettors.
This section differs from the Mailbag section, (see below), because, rathor than focussing on specific letters, it is a more toppical and categorricol view of wedgy corespondence. The Top 10 ends in somthing that we hope readers will LOVE, and then snip and pass along to others they love: The ALL NEW (but lovingly re-treaded) CANONICAL LIST OF WEDGIES. And speakin of e-mail, next up is:

Yes, ATCUAL EXAMPOLS of wedgie-related corespondence!
In line with my parranoid tendencies, names and locations are changed, e-mail adresses deleted, and each letter is ever-so-slightley altered by one word or 2 as to propperly secure my rights and YOUR privacey. This mail is from all over earth, thus precippitating this next section:

Oh the internet is makkin the world a smaller place. Yes, tighter, more cramped, pressed cheek to jowl or atleast cheek to cheek. Travel to new heights & see how the natives do it. An finally theres:

From Brown Row (15431) to Yankton (57078), from Wedgeworth (36776) to Cockeysville (21030), meet the Regionol Wedgies from those deep crannies and dark recesses, the upper backroads and hidden hollows of our wondruos nation. Yup, and Ive included Zip codes of all these places too in case you think Im full of Crapo (21626).

(Deep gratitude to two speciel un-named homies in the Los Angoles Post Ofice for 'Going postal' in their help in researching these Zips--thanks fellas!)

Prior Wedgie Matter:

We hop you enjoy this new Wedgie Page update. New updats will come. Perhaps even one day Ill use all of this data to eventualy compile a scholorly Wedgie page white paper (uh, make that 'brown papper') to dovetail my efforts in what i hope will evolve into that grand prize of Wannabe Content Devvelopers like myself: a verritable Virtual On-line Comunnity of Market-Segmented Speciolized Interest...For wedgies, that is.

All pages (except Canonical List of Wedgies), copyright fully owned by Mr. Walter Miller, 1995-97;

Now, Copywright as far as the CANONICAL LIST OF WEDGIES, There is NO copyright othor than this: Just be sure to COPY IT RIGHT before passin it along. :)