Health Food Mania

My diet consists of Egg Beaters.
Instead of butter, I have a small pat of Parkay.
All my food has preservatives
And the bland is that of muddy clay.

My food is seasoned with a low salt substitute
And it is all low in fat.
My drinks are caffine-free and dietetic.
Needless to say, they are flat.

My breads are brown and enriched
With vitamins and minerals too.
My cereals are sugar-free and whole-grain.
The dull taste is that of straw or an old shoe.

My vegetables are steamed
In the microwave with haste.
Desserts are never rich and sweet;
But flavorless as wallpaper paste.

My exercise consists of walking
A mile or two at a very fast pace
With elbows at right-angles bent
As though they are out of place.

My prescribed exercise techniques and health foods
Are prepared by a nutritionist cook;
But is the evidence noticable in body and long life
Or is it only visible in my pocket-book?

Author: Edith Bastin
© Copyright: September 26, 1998. All Rights Reserved.

Return to Main Page

This page hosted by Get your own Free Home Page