Back Pain Remedies

epb1937@scrtc.com

According to research, 8 out of 10 Americans will experience back pain at some point in their life. As I lie here moaning and groaning in the middle of the bedroom floor counting the “dust bunnies” under the furniture, I’ll give you some free and useful advice on coping with back pain as I’m not going anywhere and all that’s on TV is soaps and game shows and I get dizzy watching from this angle. I’ve listed some steps to take when you’re back goes out; although I do not guarantee they work as they may or may not help. If you have additional remedies, please Email me . Thanks! Edith

  1. Collapse on the floor and scream loudly so everyone knows you’re in agony.
  2. Find a position that doesn’t cause you excruciating pain and stay in it for three to five days. But first get your hands on a large thermos full of Pepsi, the TV remote control, the phone, and the phone number of the nearest Pizza Hut.
  3. Have a family member prepare an ice pack and hot water bottle. If they’re not available, have your dog to drag you while you kick and scream.
  4. Avoid sneezing and coughing.
  5. Keep your purse (or brief case) as light as possible by removing everything that is of unnecessary weight--keys, wallet, make-up, cell phone, dictionary, power drill, sandbags--You get the idea, don’t you?.
  6. Depending on your preferences, seek professional care--general pracititioner, chiropractor, physical therapist, message therapist, meterologist. Whichever you prefer--but be sure to have his/her business card taped to the floor. Believe me! When you’re lying on the floor in pain, you won’t be able to lift the phone book.
  7. Try sit ups and light weight lifting to strengthen the back. Now, these exercises should be performed by your spouse so he’ll be strong enough to carry you from room to room the next time your back goes out.
  8. Ask a neighbor to bring you some chocolate--light or dark--it doesn’t matter. Worrying about the weight gain immediately improves back pain as it distracts you from the pain.
  9. To prevent pain, some say you should lift your legs (not your back) and sleep with a pillow under your knees and avoid rowdy games of Twister.

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