Welfare Humor

The following are taken from actual letters received by by the Welfare Department in applications for support. (No kidding!)

1. I am forwarding my marriage certificate and 6 children. I had 7 but one died which was baptised on a half shett of paper.
2. I am writing the welfare department to tell them my baby was born two years old. When do I get my money?
3. Mrs. Jones has not had clothes for 2 years and has been visited regularly by the ckergy.
4. I cannot get sick pay. I have 6 children, can you tell me why?
5. I am glad to report that my husband who is missing is dead.
6. This is my eighth child. What are you going to do about it?
7. Please find for certain if my husband is dead. The man I am now living with can't do anything until he knows.
8. I am very much annoyed to find out you have branded my son illiterate. This is a dirty lie as I was married a week before he was born.
9. In answer to your letter, I have given birth to a son weighing 10lbs.
I hope this is satisfactory.
10. I am forwarding my marriage certificate and my 3 children one of which is a mistake as you can see.
11. My husband got his project cut off about 2 weeks ago and I havn't gotten any relief since.
12. Unless I get my husband's money pretty soon, I will be foced to lead an immortal life.
13. You have changed my little boy to a girl, will this make any difference?
14. I have no children yet, as my husband is a truck driver and works night and day.
15. I want money as quick as I can get it. I have been in bed with the doctor for 2 weeks and he doesn't do me any good. If things don't improve, I will have to send for another doctor.
16. In accordance with your instructions, I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope.

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