A Transcript of Jonathan Silverman on "One Click Away"
The following transcript was made from an interview with Jonathan Silverman conducted by Martha Brockenbrough on "One Click Away", a guide to the Internet which features weekly and daily Web picks, games, Internet commentary and celebrity interviews in which they are shown Web sites and their comments are recorded. "One Click Away" is exclusively available on the Microsoft Network. Special thanks to Martha Brockenbrough for helping with this transcript.
(NOTE: In this transcript, the name GUY represents a man who made a few comments during the interview Martha Brockenbrough was conducting with Jonathan. The man is most likely Jonas Heller, whose company "Revolution Multimedia" set up the interview. But it could also be Jonathan's publicist. It could not be confirmed which of the two men it was.)
Actor Jonathan Silverman, star of NBC's "The Single Guy," is new to the Internet. This, of course, is a giant clue that the show only vaguely corresponds with reality. The quintessential '90s single guy, after all, can be summed up in two sentences: How old are you? Wanna Technohump?
Silverman is the kind of guy your mom wanted you to bring home, as opposed to the kind of chat-room lothario still living at home. Polite. Scrubbed. Gainfully employed.
But man! He has a lot to learn about the Net. Listen to what happened when he tried to go to a fan's web site.
[Jonathan visiting "The Jonathan Silverman Web Page"]
Click here to listen to this part of the transcript in Real Audio
JONATHAN: Click on a link?
MARTHA: Click on a link.
JONATHAN: Alrighty.
MARTHA: Sure.
JONATHAN: What do you mean click on a link?
MARTHA: Ok. Take the mouse...
JONATHAN: Take the mouse. Uh huh.
MARTHA: That's comfy. (Laughs) How's that? Alright, now you see where the little arrow is?
JONATHAN: Yes.
MARTHA: Ok, now.
GUY: You move it up.
MARTHA: Take it to that funny blue writing.
JONATHAN: To the blue writing?
MARTHA: The blue writing.
GUY: You move the mouse along the pad.
JONATHAN: Oh, I get it. Did I just do something bad?
MARTHA: (Laughs) Ok.
JONATHAN: I have my own page? Is that what you're saying?
MARTHA: Several. You have many.
JONATHAN: That's awful. Am I paying for this?
MARTHA: No, it's free.
JONATHAN: Who's paying for this? It's a tribute to me. God bless him. (Jonathan begins reading from web page) Many films and... I'm, I'm honored that anybody actually knows who I am and that someone would waste time on a computer [doing this]. Oh, what did I just do now? I just cut my hair.
MARTHA: (Laughs)
His mousing skills improved in time to visit the Los Angeles Dodgers home page.
JONATHAN: How about player information? That's always exciting. Here we go. Let's click. Did I click correctly? Yes?
MARTHA: You did it perfectly.
JONATHAN: Excellent.
MARTHA: It was really good. Your directors must love you.
JONATHAN: Oh, sure. You know, they don't often ask me to click and surf.
[Soon Jonathan gets to the Dodgers page]
JONATHAN: I can name all of the players just on the numbers you see right there. That's, that's a good time. That's Darren Hall right there. And Darren Dreifort. Now what do I do?
MARTHA: I have no idea.
JONATHAN: Ok.
MARTHA: (Laughs) Scroll down.
JONATHAN: Scroll down?
MARTHA: Like you normally would.
JONATHAN: Of course I would. Oh, it's in living color. Oh, yeah. Look at that. Woo! Anybody you wanna know about? Well you know what, a, a, oh, no he's not here.
MARTHA: Oh, well.
JONATHAN: He should be, oh, let's go to Tom Candiotti 'cause he's, he's a friend of mine. How do I do that? Do I go up to Tom?
MARTHA: Umm hmm.
JONATHAN: To his dot?
GUY: And then click.
MARTHA: Yeah.
JONATHAN: On his dot?
MARTHA: Click on his name.
JONATHAN: Oh, on the name?
GUY: Uh oh.
[At this point Jonathan gets an error message when he tries to click on Tom]
JONATHAN: Illegal operation? What are you talking about? Tom's dealing drugs to Cuba? What?
MARTHA: You crashed Netscape.
JONATHAN: I crashed already?
MARTHA: You crashed it.
JONATHAN: Do I stick another quarter in?
MARTHA: (Laughs)
JONATHAN: Well, we're done with the Dodgers. Let's move on.
Next, Jonathan got a lesson in surfing. Naturally he put it to good use.
MARTHA: Ok, I'm gonna teach you some stuff.
JONATHAN: Ok.
MARTHA: This is the Universal Research Locator, also known as a URL. Ok?
JONATHAN: Research Locator?
MARTHA: Yeah. And so, that "http" stands for "hyper text transfer protocol" 'cause that's what we're doing.
JONATHAN: Umm hmm, we are, we're doing that.
MARTHA: Now don't you feel better?
JONATHAN: I do actually. My back was hurting a little earlier, but that is...
MARTHA: Don't they have people who take care of that? You just snap your fingers and you say "Sven, a massage."
JONATHAN: Oh, wouldn't that be great. What website do you surf to see, like, naked pictures of Alyssa Milano?
MARTHA: Most of them.
JONATHAN: Oh, ok.
MARTHA: (Laughs)
JONATHAN: On the Dodger one?
MARTHA: Probably not on the Dodger one. You would ? Dodgers ? and Alyssa Milano.
JONATHAN: Yeah, 'cause I, whenever, you know, a friend tells me that he's got this - the Internet - that they disappear. You just never hear from them again. And they talk about they're just seeing naked pictures of movie stars and stuff. I wanted to see what the big fuss was all about!
MARTHA: Ok.
JONATHAN: Oh, we didn't need to see naked pictures of Alyssa Milano. I was just...aw geez.
MARTHA: (Laughs)
JONATHAN: Now I'm gonna get in trouble.
MARTHA and GUY: (Laughs)
JONATHAN: Alyssa, I love you. I was just teasing. I just, I heard there was a naked picture of you. It's been awhile. Aw man. What's size 2K mean? It's not like her bra size.
MARTHA: (Laughs)
THE END
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