Hot Chick:  Elisha Cuthbert

Hot Chick Factor: 9.5!

Synopsis -- a porn star moves in next door to this high-school kid and they fall in love! How far will he go for her?

Short declaratory phrase in an attempt to get quoted in TV trailer, ad, or cover box --

"After watching Elisha Cuthbert, I'm spent-- from marveling at her tasteful clothing."

Ryan's review:

Get down, Get on up! This movie kicks all sorts of ass, and has all sorts of ass in it, especially that of ELISHA CUTHBERT – Nice. She was really great in this and played the line between sweet girl you fall in love with and nasty porn chic you want to see on all fours polishing off – whatever they like to polish off these days; Dakil, Ron Jeremy, other girls and chrome shower heads. This film as a whole kind of wore me out, but it is definitely worth seeing. I am extremely happy to report that this is probably one of those rare films that all 4 bastards can agree upon. I did not see it with any of the bastards, just my roommate George who wore a football jersey, but I can tell it would be a hit. First of all it is about high school, so for whatever reason I think that will appeal to Jason, though I have nothing to support that. GND also has a lot of heart and love to it, so Nate will like it, along with other people who love “Chick Flicks.” My girlfriend loved it, and yours will too. Now for the X factor – Tim Dakil: This movie is about porn, and has porn chicks, and horny guys who want to fuck everything including really smart Cambodians. Yes, Tim will like it.
Go see it, this juice is worth the squeeze.
Rating: 7 out of 10 money shots you imagine seeing all over Kim’s face (Oh it is wrong, but she is playing a porn star).

Nate's review:

Okay, I'm starting to get freaked out a little. That's right, I won another radio contest and I got to see this movie before it came out. I'm not sure what is going on. It's almost like I know somebody! But I don't, so I'm starting to wig a tad. Oh well. I have been reading some critical reviews of this movie, and I must say, all of you sons of bitches who panned this can go straight to hell. It is too easy to dismiss this movie as just your regular plain old "teeny-bopper" fare, whatever the hell that is. But this movie has characters that are deeper than usual, and casting that is so right on target, as well as a funny screenplay, and hence makes for a better moviegoing experience. And let's not forget, please, Elisha fucking Cuthbert of "24" and Old School fame. Whew! Go see this and ignore the dumbass local critics. Those stupid assholes.
Rating: 7.5 out of 10 porn stars named Athena

Jason's review:

Jason has yet to review this film.

Tim's review:

Tim has yet to review this film. Whatever!

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