Don't forget about our reviews of Van Helsing.
Preview Review: Van Heilsing???
Yeah fuckheads, I probably misspelled the title, but I won't mis spell the actors names - I pasted them from a fucking website - know why? Cause I don't know who the fuck they are!!! Hugh Jackman - Kate Beckinsale - Richard Roxburgh - Elena Anaya - David Wenham - All I do know is I like to have sex - not watch another fucking vampire shit-flick. Let me guess, some Robocop mother fucker goes after people with fangs that fly around and shit on him like birds do - nice fuckheads nice... I am going to make a flick where the dracula guy eats people and fucks a lot - know why Bram Stoker's Dracula was decent - TITS..TITS..and more TITS...and she got fucked by a big wolf thing - that was great! I am done with this movie review..I already wasted a minute of my short life writing abou it - Fuck you and all your fish eating lesbian friends - I hate vampire movies....and natural disaster ones too - I still hate Bill Paxton for Twister.
Rating: 1 out of 10 flying, shitting vampires