I wrote this one back during my freshman year of high school... back then, it was hard for me to open up to people and let them in...to see who I truly was. It took time for me to learn how to do so. But with this little problem, it made it even harder to feel comfortable in being there for others- even if I loved them. This was written for a friend of mine, Naomi - her best friend was close to dying in the hospital and no one quite knew what was going to happen... and it really hurt to see Naomi going through so much pain. I could see in her eyes that she wanted me to talk to her - just couldn't say it to me... but I couldn't... I wasn't ready to be there for someone back then.
I see the hurt that moves through you even when you think no one can,
When I had broken down into tears I never thought I would shed
Overwhelming grief separates your soul from mine
Before, my fear of rejection was stronger than my concern for you
© October 11, 1995
It hurts me to see you in pain
To know you'll never be the same
How can I help a friend that's hurting
When you never ask for help?
You had been there with your arms around me
And now that you are in the position I was that day
I want to be there for you like you were for me
And offer you a shoulder to lean on
But my heart is weak
And I don't have the courage that you have shown towards me
Will I ever have the courage to show you how much of a friend I could be?
And I don't understand why we only connect when everything in our lives is fine
Maybe I am afraid you will turn away from my hand reaching out to you
And never explain to me why.
But I believe the love for a friend can overcome any emotion that I feel
So when the time arrives, I will offer a shoulder for you to lean on
But more importantly,
I will offer to you a friend you can always count on.