Barney works down at the A&P
He drives a baby-blue AMC Ain't missed a day of work in thirteen years
He's a fire department volunteer
He's got a yard that's always just been mowed
Collected stamps since he was ten years old
You've never met a more regular guy
But when the sun goes down on Friday night

(Chorus)
Slaps on his "Hai, Karate!" aftershave
Puts on his Elvis jacket (custom made)
Gets in his patent leather zebra boots
Fires up his Super-sport Malibu
He burns the rubber 'cross the county line
A honky-tonking fool 'til closing time
You ought to see him metamorphosize
From Barney Jeckyl into Bubba Hyde

Monday morning it's the suit and tie
"Attention, shoppers, there's a two-for-one buy."
Tuesday afternoon he mans the wheel
Makes his rounds in the bookmobile
He's got a Wednesday night canasta game
Thursday's a tourney at the bowling lane
His friends would freak out if they only knew
The party animal he turns into

(Repeat chorus)

You ought to see him metamorphosize
From Barney Jeckyl into Bubba Hyde