Pirates of the Mississippi

Pirates of the Mississippi
Last updated: Saturday 6. June 1998

911
(written by Rich Alves, Bill McCorvey and Gary Harrison)

(Chorus)
Call 911 emergency
Got a man down here on bended knee
Perpetrators is a red head, stands five foot three
Call 911 emergency

It was a case of hit and run
Lord, she took me by surprise
Send someone to the rescue
'Cause I'm much too weak too fight

(Repeat chorus)

I'm in a state of confusion
Like I've never felt before
She's got me sending flowers
And hangin' 'round the jewelry store

(Repeat chorus twice)

Call 911 emergency

Feed Jake (contributed by Will Hose)
(written by Danny Mayo)

I'm standing at the crossroads in life
And I don't know where to go
You know you've got my heart, babe
But my music's got my soul
Let me play it one more time
I'll tell the truth and make it rhyme
And hope they understand me

(Chorus)
Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
And if I die before I wake, feed Jake
He's been a good dog
My best friend right through it all
If I die before I wake, feed Jake

Now Broadway's like a sewer
Bums and hookers everywhere
Wino passed out on the sidewalk
Doesn't anybody care
Some say he's worthless, just let him be
I for one would have to disagree
And so would their mommas

(Repeat chorus)

Now, if you get an ear pierced
Some will call you gay
But if you drive a pickup
They say, no, you must be straight
What we are and what we ain't
What we can and what we can't
Doesn't really matter

(Repeat chorus)

If I die before I wake, feed Jake
If I die before I wake, feed Jake

I Think Locally
(written by Roger Murrah, Bill McCorvey and John Schweers)

I ain't worried about the ocean
But I'm glad some folks are
Now I like whales and darter snails
But you can carry this thing too far
They wanna save the planet
But they're endangering me
We ain't got no ozone problem
Here in Tennessee

(Chorus)
I don't think globally...I think locally
Our high school football team
Don't play Germany
When you got a good woman by your side
You don't need to hug no tree
I don't think globally...I think locally

My idea of green peace
Is no weeds in the yard
I did my part for "clean air"
I fixed the muffler on my car
That computer virus
Is a terminal disease
This information highway
Moves too dang fast for me

(Repeat chorus)

I don't need to know
The price of corn in Paraguay
Just give me the local paper
Or the USA Today

(Repeat chorus)

The Biggest Broken Heart In Tennessee
(written by Rich Alves, Bill McCorvey and Gary Harrison)

(Chorus)
I'm bluer than the bluegrass in Kentucky
I'm sadder than a weepin' willow tree
I'm lonesome as the mountains on the moon
With the biggest broken heart in Tennessee

I heard through the grapevine how you're doin'
You turned some cajun head's in New Orleans
You caused a fight in a cowboy bar in Texas
And the biggest broken heart in Tennessee

You took this ol' country boy to school
You wrote the book then you broke the rules
And left a trail of red hot memories

(Repeat chorus)

Well, my story's made the rounds in Chattanooga
Everybody down in Memphis knows of me
You're the one to thank for my fame and misfortune
And the biggest broken heart in Tennessee

You took this ol' country boy to school
You wrote the book then you broke the rules
And left a trail of red hot memories

(Repeat chorus)

Yeah, I got the biggest broken heart in Tennessee

Weakness For The Weekend
(written by Tim Johnson)

Monday, alarm clock ringin'
Wake up, I've got to go
Dog tired and the coffee's steamin'
Dash for the truck and hit the road
Punch in, punch out
It's gonna be another weekday hell
Tuesday, same old story
Wednesday, sure drags on
Thursday, always bores me
Friday at five thank god I'm gone

(Chorus)
I've got a weakness for the weekend
I'm addicted to these honky tonkin' nights
I've got a weakness for the weekend
And it's a feelin' I'm not strong enough to fight

Bar stool, I'm the first one on it
Draft beer chug-a-lug-a-lug
I'm no fool, I won't waste a minute
Party until the sun comes up

Boot scoot, two step
Dance until my boot soles go to hell
Sunday, can't believe it's over
Monday just around the bend
It's gonna feel like forever
'Til Friday rolls around again

(Repeat chorus twice)

It's a feelin' I'm not strong enough to fight

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