Out Of Harm's Way

What To Do

If You Are Raped

• Go to the emergency room. This is *very* important, even if you decide not to prosecute. Your health is the first concern you should have. Any internal damage will be treated at this time. You can be given a rape kit exam, which will provide evidence should you decide to prosecute, and it will test for STD's. Many STD's are very treatable if they are caught early enough, so it's important to have the testing done. You can also be given emergency contraception to prevent pregnancy.
• Important: do not shower, do not change clothes, do not attempt to clean up the area where the rape happened. All of these things destroy evidence that will be needed should you decide to prosecute. And while you are upset is not the time to be deciding whether or not you will prosecute.
• Call a crisis line such as RAINN (1-800-656-HOPE). RAINN is an organization that directs calls to a rape crisis line near you. If you are afraid to go to the emergency room and don't have anyone to go with you, most places will provide a victim's advocate to meet you at the hospital. Crisis line volunteers can also provide someone to talk to, and can be a wealth of information and resources for you.
• IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. I cannot stress this enough. Whether you are male or female, whether your attacker was someone you knew or a complete stranger; whether or not you were drinking or taking drugs, rape or sexual assault was not your fault.
• If you are male, your attack does not make you less of a man; if you are straight it does not mean that you are gay; and if you are gay it does not mean you have to question the validity of your sexual orientation. The bottom line here is someone hurt you and used sex as a weapon to gain power over you.
• If you are female: your attack is not to be blamed on what you were wearing, who you were talking to, or whether or not you were drinking or taking any drugs. Your past sexual history has no bearing on the rape.
• If you feel suicidal, please get help. There is no one, NO ONE, worth losing your life over. You survived the attack. You will survive the aftermath.
• Don't be afraid to get counseling. Even if you cannot afford a therapist, there are many organizations out there that will provide good counseling on a sliding scale basis, sometimes even free. There is no shame in admitting that you need help dealing with something.
• There are many books available to help you through. And you WILL get through. It may not feel like it right now, but you WILL get through.
• Take it easy on yourself. Allow yourself the comforts you know you need. Have within reach the phone numbers of friends who are available to you to help you through a crisis situation. Plan what to do when you feel overwhelmed.
• Give yourself time to grieve. You will have a lot of grief that needs to be worked through. Give it time. Give yourself time.

There you have it. May many blessings be with you.

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