Scene 4

Scene 4
The living room of the Adams house a few hours later. It is bathed in orange twilight. MR. ADAMS is wheeling his chair from one side of the room to the other, nervously puffing on a cigar. LOBELIA is sitting near the door, dressed in her street clothes. MR. ADAMS The movies you say? What did she see…an Erich von Stroheim festival?
LOBELIA
Mr. Adams, you know you ain't supposed to be smokin' no cigars. You done poured rum in your toddy…an' don' say you didn't 'cause I seen you do it. And Miz Adams, she gonna have a fit when she…
MR. ADAMS
My daughter may have been absconded by White Slavers, and you sit there jabbering about rum and cigars. Where are you going?
LOBELIA
I'm sorry, Mr. Adams, but I got my own family I gotta care fo'.
MR. ADAMS
You'd actually leave an old man in a wheelchair alone?
LOBELIA
I'd actually leave an ole man in a wheelchair alone.
MR. ADAMS
Heartless wench! (Outside the sound of a car. MR. ADAMS wheels to the window as LOBELIA picks up her paper sack.) MR. ADAMS There she is! But whose car is that? And who is that woman with those enormous breasts and that incredible hair color?
                                                           (LOBELIA opens the front door.)

LOBELIA
Evenin', Mr. Adams. (SHE exits. Outside we hear the sound of voices as MR. ADAMS hurries to put out his cigar. HE looks for a place to hide the remainder, then chooses his breast pocket. ADELINE, GOLDIE and a breathless BRADLEY enter.) MR. ADAMS Adeline, where the devil have you been?
BRADLEY
She fainted in the movie!
MR. ADAMS
Fainted?
ADELINE
It was nothing.
BRADLEY
Mr. Adams! Mr. Adams! Adeline fainted in the movie!
There was this very funny scene
And she started in a-cryin'
In this very funny scene
Where everyone is laughin'
And then she starts a-faintin'
And Mrs. Ashkenazy
She gets up and starts a-screamin'
And the manager comes runnin'
And the picture starts a-stoppin'
And the lights they start a-lightin'
And someone calls the doctor
And the doctor he comes runnin'
And it all was so excitin'
To the doctor's place we rode.
Boy, it all was more excitin'
Then when Claude and I were fightin'
An' I went and stole his toad. MR. ADAMS Young man, did you ever consider a journalistic career?
                                                          (to Adeline)
What did the doctor say?
                                                         (GOLDIE is about to speak, but ADELINE stops her.)

ADELINE
Nothing. Low blood pressure.
MR. ADAMS
It must be more than low blood pressure. You've been acting peculiarly for weeks now.
ADELINE
Father, do I smell cigar smoke?
MR. ADAMS
Lobelia. The poor demented creature thinks she's George Sand.
ADELINE
Father…
GOLDIE
Lie down now, darling.
ADELINE
I will after I get dinner.
GOLDIE
I'll get dinner.
MR. ADAMS
And who are you, pray tell? The chef at Buckingham Palace?
GOLDIE
No. Windsor Castle. And I hope you like bologna sandwiches as much as the King and Queen do.
ADELINE
Forgive me. Father, this is Mrs. Ashkenazy.
GOLDIE
Call me Goldie.
MR. ADAMS
Goldie? Goldie! Do you have any relatives named Chick?
GOLDIE
No. Just two sons named Hershel and Mordecai.
                                                              (to Adeline)
You rest. I'll take care of everything.
ADELINE
You've been too kind already. I couldn't ask you to…
GOLDIE
Darling, I've nothing else to do with myself. And I've been feeding people for almost sixty years.
MR. ADAMS
                                                               (staring at her impressive bosom)
I can imagine.
                                                              (GOLDIE walks toward the kitchen. MR. ADAMS follows.)

BRADLEY
I want to help!
MR. ADAMS
But how do you know what I like? How do you know what I'm allowed?
GOLDIE
Out! Out of the kitchen!
                                                             (to Bradley)
Not you. Him! (MR. ADAMS turns his wheelchair about and retreats in amazement and with a certain amusement. ADELINE moves through the upstage door. The set revolves so that now we see the interior of her bedroom. SHE sighs, pulls off her shoes, lies down and closes her eyes. From stage right, the DANCING ADELINE appears. Still in mourning, SHE executes a brief, lonely dance. BRADLEY tiptoes into the room and goes to the recumbent Adeline as the DANCING ADELINE freezes.) BRADLEY Mama's here. I gotta go. (ADELINE looks up, tears in her eyes. SHE clutches him tightly.) BRADLEY Why are you cryin'?
ADELINE
Because I love you.
BRADLEY
Does love make you cry?
ADELINE
That's the thing about love. (SHE holds him as long as she can. Then HE pries himself loose and exits. The DANCING ADELINE begins again. Only this time it is not a mournful dance. The music switches from "When My Father's Gone" to "A World with Two Moons". SHE divests herself of her black clothes and stands in her slip. A HANDSOME STRANGER appears in the shadows. HE makes love to the Dancing Adeline, then disappears. SHE falls to the floor in ecstasy, writhes, clutches her stomach, then turns upstage. When SHE turns back, she is cuddling a baby in her arms. Joyously, SHE dances off stage. Lights rise in Adeline's room. SHE raises herself suddenly, and with determination picks up the phone.) ADELINE Hello…Alice? I'm glad it's you. Do you have Dr. Peyser's home number?…You're an angel.
                                                            (SHE waits a moment.)
Dr. Peyser?…Adeline Adams here…Forgive me if I'm disturbing you…Oh, no. I'm feeling better now. It's not that. I have a question. I know it may sound foolish, but I don't understand things like this. I was wondering. Could you tell me…well, it's only a discussion I was having with that sweet Mrs. Ashkenazy. I mean, how long after the cycle begins, can one…well, you know, conceive, I guess the word is…Oh?…Yes, I know she should be married. Thank you, doctor. I'll tell Mrs. Ashkenazy.
                                                            (SHE hangs up and sits for a moment digesting this.)
A baby!
                                                           (altering from elation to depression)
Oh, Adeline! How ridiculous can you be!
                                        A baby! A baby!
                                        The idea is so absurd,
                                        So incredibly absurd,
                                        I have just to say the word,
                                        And I'll break into a roar!
                                        A baby!
                                        From an old maid who is forty-four. A baby! A baby!
Even if the moon turns blue
And Hades goes and freezes,
One can't conceive a baby
Like the Little Baby Jesus.
One has to have a man,
That's as plain as plain can be;
One has to have a man,
But what man would have to have me?
Who would want too marry Adeline Adams?
Who would want an aging romantic fool?
Even if my knight on a silver charger
Turned into a peddler on a mule.
A baby! A baby!
Though the moon may well turn blue
And Hades goes and freezes,
I would rather raise a baby
Than cats or Pekingeses.
But one has to have a man,
That's as plain as plain can be---
One has to have a man,
But what man would ever want me?
Who would want to bed with Adeline Adams?
Who would want a woman whom others shun?
Even if my fantasy world of two moons
Turns into a universe with none.
But I can't adopt one. They won't let a single lady do that. And I certainly can't depend on someone leaving one on my doorstep. There has to be a man---a man somewhere---if only for one night. There are women for one night. Why can't there be men for one night?

A baby! A baby!
The idea I know's absurd,
But I've just to say the word
And I tingle and I thrill!
A baby! A baby!
I may very well dispense
With moral common sense,
But I'll have one, by God, I will!
I'll have a baby---by God, I will!

GOLDIE (o.s.)
I said out! Out of the kitchen!
MR. ADAMS (o.s)
But I hate casseroles!
GOLDIE (o.s.)
This casserole you'll like.

BLACKOUT