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Actual epitaphs from gravestones ... On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia:Ezekial Aikle Age 102 The Good Die Young. In a London, England cemetery: Here lies Ann Mann, Who lived an old maid But died an old Mann. Dec. 8, 1767 In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery: The children of Israel wanted bread And the Lord sent them manna, Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife, And the Devil sent him Anna. Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery: Johnny Yeast Pardon me For not rising. Memory of an accident in a Uniontown, Pennsylvania, cemetery: of Jonathan Blake Stepped on the gas Instead of the brake. In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery: We planted him raw. He was quick on the trigger, But slow on the draw. A widow wrote this epitaph in a Vermont cemetery: my husband John Barnes who died January 3, 1803 His comely young widow, aged 23, has many qualifications of a good wife, and yearns to be comforted. A lawyer's epitaph in England: Here lies an honest lawyer, And that is Strange. Anonymous in Stowe, Vermont: Who... is no business Of yours. Lester Moore was a Wells-Fargo Co. station agent for Naco, Arizona, in the cowboy days of the 1880's. He's buried in the Boot Hill Cemetery in Tombstone, Arizona: Four slugs from a .44 No Les No More. In a Georgia cemetery: John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery: In want of any Dig 4 feet deep And thou wilt find a Penny. On Margaret Daniels grave at Hollywood Cemetery, Richmond, Virginia: but nobody believed her. In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England: - Jonathan Fiddle - Went out of tune. Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont: Done to death by a banana It wasn't the fruit that laid her low But the skin of the thing that made her go. Owen Moore in Battersea, London, England: Owin' more Than he could pay. Someone in Winslow, Maine, didn't like Mr. Wood: Departed this life Nov. 2, 1837 Aged 45 yrs. Here lies one Wood Enclosed in wood One Wood Within another. The outer wood Is very good: We cannot praise The other. On a grave from the 1880's in Nantucket, Massachusetts: Lies the body of Jonathan Pease. He is not here, there's only the pod: Pease shelled out and went to God. The grave of Ellen Shannon in Girard, Pennsylvania: March 21, 1870 by the explosion of a lamp filled with "R.E. Danforth's Non-Explosive Burning Fluid" Oops! Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York: Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was. In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery: All dressed up And no place to go. In a cemetery in England: As you are now, so once was I, As I am now, so shall you be, Remember this and follow me. To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone: Until I know which way you went. |
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