Wicca is not a Religion to be ashamed of. In America, at any rate, the U.S. Constitution and Bill of Rights give us the right to worship as we please. Wicca is recognized as a "real" religion in the U.S. Courts, and by the U.S. military.
All of which is small comfort to a Christian mother who thinks you are out to corrupt her children, or to you as your neighbors glare at you because you are that "weird witch family that lives across the street."
Something that every Wiccan has to think about, eventually, is the reaction of non-pagans to your beliefs. No one lives in a vacuum. If you are like me, the vast majority of people that you work with, and play with, are non-pagan. To tell, or not to tell, is a decision each Witch has to make on their own. But assuming you do decide to tell at least one person about your choice of path, you have to be prepared for the possibility of a "bad" reaction. Too, I have often witnessed some Wiccans expressing an emotion akin to hatred toward Christians, or others, not of Pagan belief. These feelings are usually the result of bad experiences with non-pagans before or after discovering Wicca. I understand, as well as any, how frustrating it can be to constantly have beliefs that are not your own shoved in your face. But I think is is useful to understand why this happens.
I have an analogy for you. I can't take credit for this one, as much as I would like to! I read it recently on the newsgroup Alt.Religion.Wicca. For the life of me, I cannot recall who actually wrote it, but I think it expresses the situation between Christians and Pagans very well.
Its a hot day, so you decide to take a dip to cool off. As the other passengers watch in horror, you hop right out of the boat and into the water. Immediately, the other passengers fly into a panic and begin to toss out life preservers to you. You try to tell them that you are fine, but in their minds this can't be true. They continue to throw you anything that will float, untill you finally reach the point where you fear you may indeed drown, if only from the weight of all the preservers pushing against you.
Were you in any danger by taking your swim?
No.
Can you fault the non-swimmers for their actions?
Not really. What they do is done out of genuine concern for your welfare. Anyone of us would reach out just as eagerly to help someone whom we thought was in danger. To the other people on the boat, your refusal to accept help is surely a sign that you are either unstable, uninformed, or possessed by an evil water demon that makes you do such a ridiculous thing.
Many Christians firmly believe that their way is the only way to salvation. Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No man cometh to the father but by me". Most Christians interpret this to mean: If you don't profess Jesus as lord and savior, you are doomed to hell. Period. When you consider their actions in this context, you cannot expect them to allow you to persue a path that they believe will end in your eternal damnation. In their eyes, it is the same as standing by and just watching you sink beneath the surface of the water.
Good question!
I can only address this problem as I have encountered it and chosen to face it. Your mileage will definitely vary depending on your particular situation. I have absolutely no venom towards Christians that try to "save" me. What they do and say is born out of love and concern for me. However, I have no desire to grab on to their "lifeline". I appreciate the offer, but I can swim just fine! The main problem that I have faced, in this respect, is dealing with the barrage of "life preservers". It can get tedious constantly fencing with people who cannot accept the possibilty of a path other than their own.
I am "in the closet" to the vast majority of the world. I am happy with things that way, and so far the "world" has not expressed any complaints about my choice. Some Wiccans have no problem standing in the middle of a room full of strangers and saying,"Hi! I'm a Witch." If that approach works for them (or you), great! Some folks are comfortable with that approach, some are not. I feel no need to tell the lady that runs the cash register in the "express lane" at the local supermarket about the magickal path that I am on, any more than I would feel compelled to tell her that I was Christian, Muslim, or Jewish. First, its none of her business. Second, I can't imagine that she would care, as long as I had 15 or fewer items in my cart.
Friends and family, however, are another matter. My wife knows my beliefs, and is Wiccan herself. Our daughter, who is 11 years old, was born before we began our magickal paths. This has presented another problem of sorts. Fairly often in the newsgroups I see posts by young Wiccans asking for advice in telling there Parents about The Craft. That is difficult enough, but imagine being the parent and having to tell your child! My wife and I made a concious decision not to come right out and tell her about Wicca straight away. We live in the Bible Belt and I have no desire at all for her to face persecution amoung her schoolmates for our beliefs (remember how cruel kids could be when you were young?). That being the case, it would be necessary for her to keep our religion a secret from her friends. It is very difficult for young children not to equate "secrets" with something "bad", or shameful. I don't want her to develop that association with Wicca, either consciously or unconsciously. So, we have raised her with Wiccan values (ie. respect of others, harming none, love for nature,etc.), but have not attached any of the "labels" that would cause her difficulty. Recently, we have begun to reveal more and more of the magickal side of the world, one small piece at a time. We both feel that she is old enough now to realize the importance of discretion in revealing our faith, and we plan to take the "final step" in the next day or so. She will be free, as always, to find her own path. If it be Wicca, I would be pleased, but it is by no means a necessity. She is smart, and strong, and she has a good heart, so I know whatever path she chooses will be the right one for her.
I have several friends whom I have chosen to tell, or that have inadvertantly "found me out". Most of the time, I try to prepare them as much as possible for the revelation before hand. I never tell someone who hasn't known me long enough to really "know" me. I have found that it is easier for mundanes to maintain the opinion that I am not a "nut case", than it is to form a good opinion of me after being told that I practice Witchcraft. Usually, I will drop hints along the way, moving closer and closer to what lies under the surface. It is kind of like going to the mountains on vacation. If you take someone all the way to the top of the mountain immediately, there is always the chance that they will develop altitude sickness. It is too abrupt of a change. But if you bring them up gradually, they hardly notice the change at all.
Last Yule, I was talking to a co-worker about the upcoming Christmas party that our department had planned for lunchtime that day. She is Muslim, and stated that she wasn't sure if she would attend the party since Christmas wasn't "her holiday." I told her that it wasn't my holiday either, but that wouldn't stop me from stuffing myself. She asked me what my holiday was, and I replied that it was Yule, The Winter Solstice. She looked quizzical for a moment, and then asked, "Oh. Is that one of those Celtic (pronounced it like sell-tick) things?" Immediately I had an image in my mind of a coven that worshipped Larry Byrd, and I had to fight really hard not to bust out laughing!
It is through small steps, like the above, that I gradually reveal to people my beliefs, and the path I have chosen to follow. If I identify a person that I know in my heart will give me nothing but grief about this, I simply don't tell them. I don't need anyones acceptance or permission to believe the way that I do. And I certainly don't need to be harassed constantly, so I avoid the situation. I have found it almost impossible to argue something on points of faith. When you do, the conversation tends to run along these lines:
Christian: I don't want you to burn in Hell. Please renounce this evil path and come to Christ.
Me: Thank you for your concern, but I'm not going to burn in Hell. The God that I worship doesn't condemn His/Her children to suffer.
Christian: But the Bible says so.
Me: I don't believe that is really true.
Christian: But the Bible says so.
Me: I still don't believe that it is true.
Christian: But the Bible says so.
Me: Hello....are you not hearing me?
See my point?
Some may say that I am taking the "easy" way. To that I reply: Yes,,,,and your point would be...?" I see nothing wrong with taking the easy way, as long as no one gets hurt. Easy often implies "not as good", but I don't find this to be true in this instance. I am giving up nothing by keeping my faith a secret from some people. I still worship as I please.
You have every right to believe the way you have chosen. But Christians and others have every right to think you are a goof, or worse. They have the right to believe that you are going to Hell, and they have the right to disagree with you on every topic under the sun. They will continue to throw you "life preservers" regardless of anything you say. To do otherwise would be inhumane in their eyes. I don't feel they are bad for doing these things. In fact, part of me is always warmed by the fact that another person is concerned for me. They are simply misguided in thinking their way is the only way. The choice of whether to deal with their attempts at "rescueing" you or not is up to you, in large part. If you do tell them, be prepared to face the consequences!
I am very interested in how you have dealt with this in your Pagan life. I think my method has worked well for me and mine, but we can all learn from the experiences of each other. Drop me a line and tell me what you think.
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