Q. What is the best thing about getting a blow job from a Spice Girl?
A. 10 minutes of silence.

Q. What do you do if a Spice Girl hurls a grenade at you?
A. Take out the pin and throw it back.

Q. What did the Spice Girl's mum say to her daughter's date?
A. If you're not in bed by 11,  go home.

Q. What do you call a Spice Girl behind a steering wheel?
A. An air bag.

Q. What's the difference between an intelligent Spice Girl and a UFO?
A. Dunno - never seen either!

Q. What's the difference between a Spice Girl and a 747?
A. Not everyone has been inside a 747.

Q. Why do Spice Girls smile when there's lightning?
A. They think they are getting their photo taken.

Q. A blonde and a Spice Girl jump off the Empire State building... who lands first?
A. The blond;  the Spice Girl had to stop to ask directions!

Q. How many Spice Girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. None, they only screw in cars.

Q. What does a turtle and a Spice Girl have in common?
A. Put them on their back and they're both f****d.

Q. Why do Spice Girls have TGIF on their shoes?
A. Toes Go In First.

Q. Why do Spice Girls have TGIF on their shirts?
A. Tits Go In Front.

Q. Why don't Spice Girls eat bananas?
A. They can't find the zipper.

Q. How do you know when Spice Girls have been making chocolate chip cookies?
A. You find M&M shells all over the floor.

Q. What do Spice Girls and a beer bottle have in common?
A. They're both empty from the neck up.

Q. Why did the Spice Girls get so excited when they finished a jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A. Because on the box it said "From 2-4 years".

One day a Spice Girl went into a hairdresser and asked for a haircut;she was listening to a walkman. When the hair dresser went to take the walkman off she cried out "No, no, no! Leave it on! Just cut around it!",so he did.

Six weeks later the same thing happened... the hair dresser tried to take the headphones off, but the Spice Girl asked him again to cut around it.

This happened again and again until one day the hairdresser was cutting the Spice Girl's hair when she keeled over dead. He noticed he had accidentally knocked the headphones off. He picked the headphones up and pressed play and heard, "Breathe in...breathe out...breathe in...breathe out..."

- she sent me a fax with a stamp on it
- she thought a quarterback was a refund
- she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order
- she thought Boyz II Men was a day-care centre
- she thought Meow Mix was a record for cats
- under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics"
- she tried to drown a fish
- she told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DONT WALK"
- if you gave her a penny for intelligence, you'd get change back
- she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept
- at the bottom of the application where it says "sign here".. she put "Sagittarius"
- she asked for a price check at the "Everything's A Dollar Store"

A man was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road.  He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit. The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road and got out to see what had become of the rabbit.

Much to his dismay, the rabbit was dead.  The driver felt so awful he began to cry.

A blonde woman driving down the highway saw the man crying on the side of the road and pulled over.  She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was wrong.

"I feel terrible," he explained.  "I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it."

The blonde told the man not to worry.  She knew what to do.  She went to her car trunk and pulled out a spray can.  She walked over to the limp, dead rabbit, and sprayed the contents of the can onto the rabbit.

Miraculously, the rabbit came to life, jumped up, waved its paw at the two humans and hopped down the road.  50 feet away the rabbit stopped, turned around, waved at the two again, hopped down the road another 50 feet, turned, waved, and hopped another 50 feet.

The man was astonished.  He couldn't figure out what substance could be in the woman's spray can!  He ran over to the woman and demanded, "What was in your spray can?  What did you spray onto that rabbit?"

The woman turned the can around so that the man could read the label. It said:

"Hair Spray - Restores Life to Dead Hair.  Adds Permanent Wave."

A dumb blonde calls the fire department and says "Help me- my house is on fire!!"

The fireman says "Where do you live?"

The dumb blonde replies "I don't know"

The fireman asks "How do you expect us to get there?"

The dumb blonde replies sarcastically "Duhhhh, the little red truck"

Why do brunettes like their dark hair colour ?
It doesn't show the dirt.

Who makes all the bras for brunettes ?
Fisher-Price

Why didn't Indians scalp brunettes ?
The hair from a buffalo's butt was more manageable

Why are most brunettes flat-chested ?
It makes it easier for them to read their T-shirts

Why are brunettes so proud of their hair ?
It matches their moustache

Why is the colour brunette considered evil ?
When's the last time ya saw a blonde witch ?

How can you tell a brunette is lonely ?
Check her for a pulse

What is the most frustrated animal in the world ?
A brunette rabbit

Why do brunettes wear training bras ?
It's cheaper than changing their Band-Aids every day

Why did they quit selling brunette Barbie dolls ?
Parents felt the dandruff might be contagious

How do brunettes get the tangles out their hair ?
< With a rake

What kind of costumes do brunette girls wear on Halloween ?
They just stand on their heads and go as dirty mops

Why don't brunettes get breast implants ?
They've already spent their money on thigh & butt implants

What did the frustrated brunette say to her uninterested lover ?
"What part of 'yes' don't you understand ?"

Why did God create brunettes ?
So ugly men wouldn't feel left out

What do brunettes miss most about a great party ?
The invitation

Where do brunettes get the hair for a transplant ?
From their underarms

Why do brunettes have to pay an extra $2,000 for a breast job ?
Because the plastic surgeon has to start from scratch

How do you describe a brunette whose phone rings on Saturday night ?
Startled

What do you call a good-looking man with a brunette ?
A hostage

How did Revlon come up with it's brunette hair colour ?
By studying what oil spills did to seaweed