The Spice of life.

Another day, another dollar... another week, another huge pile of Spice Girl (in)exclusive stories!!!!! Once again, it falls into the hands of Hamster Spice, much loved pet of baby spice (or at least would be would were the position available...) to report these tasty titbits of spinfomationice.

The Look Of Spice

Well, Saturday saw the launch of "The Look" - the Daily Mirror's new weekly woman's-weekly-tv-listings-combine-harvester-magazine. (at least, we assume it was the lunch having not heard of it prior to this week)Of course, with all monumental events such as these, the Spice Girls had to be in on it - and appeared on the cover holding an inflatible globe with the slogan

"We've got the whole world in our hands"

next to it.

So, is it any good? Well...appart from a nice rendering of Elvis entirely in postage stamps... The answer is... "its as good as all the others" But, of course, we're getting sidetracked. Inside it was extracts of

"SPICE OFFICIAL OUR STORY"

... only, there wasn't. Instead, they printed a few nice photos of the girls, with a few comments about them by their sibblings. Of course, the extracts will be printed all this week in the Mirror. So, every day this week, on my way to the bathroom, I will make sure I pause, and stare long and hard at my reflection - such to gleem all the interesting stuff from the book.

Of course, everyone's favourite read, the Sun had a Spice Girls as schoolgirls poster offer... While I could say something about the dangerous combination that School Girls, Spice Girls, and young men... I'd rather talk about the way that the Star, the Sun, the Mirror and all other papers seem to have adopted our Spice Girls... using them more than actively to promote their otherwise lacking in readers papers. Everyone knows, that you stick a spice girl between some cheap and nasty tabloid, and you get instant readers. In this vein, the editors of this Web Paper have planned to randomly insert a spice girl, possibly naked, possibly fully clothed somewhere in the pages of all future issues of the Hamster Times (this is, unless they have something far better to insert). If it works for down-market sleaze orientated papers, it will work for us. Look out for the special Blatant Spice Girl Photo in future issues. Collect 5 or more and apply for a special HT:SOL gift.

Spice World Wide Web!

The Spice Girls web site, c3.vmg.co.uk/spicegirls was relaunched a couple of weeks ago to massively hype the new single Spice Up Your Life. The page features all the usual photos, clips, and propoganda... and is rumoured to include some interactive games - such as "Spice Invaders".

Put a Spice Girl in your bed

or would you prefer, a tellytubby instead

Amoung the Dross that is Spice Girl merchandising, one particular item jumped out and made me take notice. That is, the official SPICE GIRL Duvet... Obviously these are playing to every man's fantasy (nb. I'm a hamster, and I do not claim to have any knowledge of any man's fantasies... no matter how sick or twisted) of having a spice girl... or even all of them ... in his bed.

The interesting thing, is, that once again we have Spice vs TellyTubbies - as almost all Spice adverts are paired with a similar one for those TellyTubbies - things that appeal to people with a mental age of about 5... Either they're hedging their bets, or they know something about Spice Girls fans...

Let's Run Down Elton

Not content with appearing on Elton John's Special Tv Show, the Spice Girls are aiming to knock Elton off the top spot in the charts - giving them their 5th number one single. The song, "Spice up your life" is as addictively annoying as previous singles, particularly "Wannabee" - or , a Bob Mortimer says "I desire a small honey producing unit"...

Mel B loves her little Pussy

Spice Girl, Mel B, has been given a cute little cat by her boyfriend Fjoinir Thorgeirsson... The Icelander gave her the cat just prior to the Spice Girls' first ever concert in Instanbul last Sunday.

The Cat is called Spice Spot and looks incredibly like Mel's favourite Leopard-print outfits. Spice Spot, a rare Bengal Kitten, is currently being looked after by Fjoinir while the Spice Girls are in tax exile.

Of course, the question on everyone's lips is about Fjoinir...

"How do you say that name, and what's it like being an eskimo?"

...unfortunately Mel B is keeping pretty tight lipped about the whole thing, especially since a recent accident when she had her tongue pierced for a second time - resulting in her lips being held together by a nice little golden loop.