We talk to a martian.

[A martian] We have recently established a radio communications link with one of the hamsters on mars. "Fluffy" is a linguistics expert and was able to translate.

Hello. We at the Ht would just like to say a big hello to you.
Hi.

How's life?
It's a bit cold here. We have to wear these suits on the surface as it's a bit cold. We live underground most of the time.

I see. Is that why earthlings have never noticed you before?
Exactly. We just like it down here underground.

I wonder if you could tell us a bit about your history.
Okey doke. No-one really knows where we come from, if we ourselves originated here, or came here accidentally like that group that crashed in that desert on you planet.

Excuse me?
That routine patrol over earth in the year 1890. The space craft went wrong and crashed into that big desert, in that place you call "Syria". They crew survived but they all lost thier memory. Humans found them and they colonised your planet, yet none of them knew where they came from, or why there are here.

Could that explain some of the strange behaviour of some earth hamsters.
Probably. Those hamsters that howl at the moon, they have a deep subconcious memory of why they went to earth.

To look at the moon?
No no no. All these missions were to stop humans developing rocket technology. We didn't want them to reach us before we were ready for them. But since that crash, most of us have been wary of returning. It's just a good job that your government are so secretive that when they discovered us, they decided not to tell all the earthlings.

What happened on Mars since then?
Most of us just go about our daily lives. We're a lot like you really, only a lot more advanced technologically.

Speaking of technology, what about this space craft of your firing at Europa in the vicinity of our Mir space station?
That? Oh, you see we did that because we wanted to show gjelsh jwsksj...
NO CARRIER

At that point our connection dropped, and we were unable to continue our conversation.

Next week, the new comet, the "Godfrey-Massey" will be visable. We hope to bring you the first pictures soon.