Joe: It's a fanzine?
Joker: Yeah, it's a 'zine, well it's a 'zine. We put this out sporadically...
Joe: Well listen, do me a favor and send me a copy of it...
Taken from a conversation between The Joker and Joe Franklin
September 24, 1996
Greetings and welcome to the fifth issue of The Road-Kill Review. For those of you
(Tom) who did not believe that you would ever see it, here it is. Why the wait between
issues? The usual lack of inspiration on my part to write. If any of you would like to
submit a guest editorial for any future issue, by all means do so. This isn't as easy
as it looks.
In Doom Patrol News: This year makes it exactly a decade (or a six pack and four
extra bottles) (of Samuel Adams Cherry Wheat Beer) since the first Boat People Telethon.
The exact date of the original telethon was October 17-18, 1986. Not to get all misty
eyed I still urge you all to mull over, re-heat dig up etc. any ideas that you might
have in order that we might commemorate this event in history with something else even
more ridiculous than what we produced back then. This is an important date in history,
and is fully deserving of our involvement as Doom Patrol Members. If this issue is out
after the anniversary date, we can still do something, so get cooking.
This past August 8th to August 11th hosted yet another excursion into Blissland
in beautiful, secluded upstate New York. Car troubles aside, our trip to Kingston was
both a relaxing, and positive trip where much beer was consumed, a fair amount of music
was played (I am listening to some now...In ways unexplainable our version of the Who's
"Can't Explain" is superior to the original) (Huh?!?) and one evening I actually became
drunk enough to acquire the rhythm [that I usually reserve for dancing at really bad
parties] to play drums. It was all very Dionysian...Chris, it was good to see you man,
and the next time you're down here we gotta get together.
Here in the Bronx, who would have thought that a brief, less that five minute, phone
conversation would lead to me, that is the Joker, meeting with the great Joe Franklin?
Having had to take the day off of work, two weeks ago, due to illness (physical) I found
myself mulling over this issue's editorial. After spending the better part of the morning
finishing George Orwell's novel, Keep the Aspidistra Flying (which interestingly enough
is a book about a writer who cannot find the inspiration to write) I decided that it
was about time to get cracking, and naturally since I had no new ideas, I figured that
I'd raid some of my old notebooks in order to hopefully get some ideas. Being that this
is the ten year anniversary of the first telethon I figured something in that vein would
be appropriate. As usual, however, I found nothing that I could use...that was until
I came upon Joe Franklin's West 43rd Street phone number. Sure, I'd interview Joe and
pass it off as an editorial! As Marty DiBergi discovered, yes it was an interview, but
it was also a whole lot more.
The phone rang once or twice, and Joe himself, answered. I introduced my self, told
him that I was the Editor of The Road-Kill Review, and he offered to help me in any way
that he could. Once he became aware that I wanted to interview him, he grew slightly
more reserved, and asked that I send a copy of the "Review" in order that he might
familiar himself with the format. In doing so he assured me that he'd be able to give
me some, "great stuff," over the phone the next time that we spoke.
Towards the end of our conversation Joe asked me where I was calling from. When
I told him, "The Bronx," he commented that he was to be up here that evening, and was
doing an interview on the program, Bronxtalk. As Joe said this, a light bulb appeared
over my head...a lightbulb in the shape of a killer shark. Not only am I a student at
Lehman College, the campus where Bronxnet houses their studios, but I also have access
producer status at Bronxnet. Secure in the knowledge of my, "power," I vowed hat this
was to be the night that I, as the leader of the Doom Patrol, would meet the man, nay
the legend that has inspired us from the very beginning.
I arrived at the Bronxnet studios at shortly after 6:00 P.M. I was told by this
guy Orville that I know, that Joe was due to arrive for the seven-thirty broadcast of
the show, and if I wanted to I could sit in. I entered the control room, a spring in
my step and a quiver in my loins. (Is this how Pope John Paul II feels ALL the time?)
As the time crept past, I wandered around and listened to the studio personnel's chatter.
It appeared that although Joe had been picked up by the limousine on time, he was
nevertheless stuck in traffic, and they were unsure as to his estimated time of arrival.
While looking at the monitors while the interns set up the light/color balance for the
cameras, I was approached by one of the assistants. It seemed that they only had two
people to work the cameras that evening, and she asked me if I (GASP) wanted to work
camera 2. Before you could say, "The late, great Bob Crosby," I was down on the studio
floor, had my headset on, and my camera focused before anybody could change their mind.
As the clock ticked on it became apparent that Joe would indeed be late.
The show began with it's usual fanfare, but the guest of honor had yet to arrive.
The host, Gary Axelbank, came on and spread the word that Joe was to be on, and should
arrive shortly. After a clip of Joe and some of his better known guests, in addition
to a public service announcement, all of which took all of six or seven minutes, a call
came down that Joe had finally gotten there, and was on the way downstairs. I felt a
thrill of anticipation, and nearly gaped in awe as he entered the studio.
Joe entered with great aplomb, the seasoned professional that he ultimately is,
and made Gary feel immediately at ease. Joe's primary reason for this particular interview
was to plug his involvement as host of Bronxnet's BETA (Bronx Excellence in Television
Access) Awards that was to occur on September 27, 1996. In addition to this Gary asked
Joe numerous questions, to which Joe responded with often poignant, and thought provoking
answers. Who was Joe's all-time favorite guest? No, not Bob Hope, but the late Bing
Crosby! The show flew by, and seemingly as soon as it began, it was over. Having stood
for the most part motionless for a half hour, I was more than ready to make my move.
I ran quickly upstairs to get my camera, and with it in hand I returned to the studio
floor. Soon after Joe was separated from his microphone and earphone, as he walked towards
where I was standing, I stepped up to him, and humbly asked if he would mind taking a
photograph with me. Do you know what this giant of show business (or should I say, "Joe
Business?") this paragon of all that is sensational, a man who has interviewed over
one-hundred thousand people, said to me? "It would be my pleasure." It was at this point
that the pinnacle of both my editorship of this newsletter, as well as my membership
in the Doom Patrol, had been attained. The associate producer offered to take the photo,
knowing, almost instinctively the true importance of this meeting between Joe and the
Joker. Once done, she offered to take another for, "posterity," did so, and Joe was off,
back into the completely deserving comfort of the rented limo.
A few days later I developed these photos...the result, one of which graces this
page. What was it like to meet Joe? Suffice it to say that if one could describe a meeting
that they had with Ramses II of Egypt, it would pale in comparison to my meeting with
Joe. Thank you Joe...may you live long, and prosper, and know that we in the Doom Patrol
truly appreciate who, and what you are!!!
Well, it's time again for me to split. Enjoy this issue and keep sending in those
submissions. Who knows; we just might get another issue out before we all die.
Jeff the Joker
Whadda you think? Let me know...
© 1997 conan1982@hotmail.com
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