Good News: She knows every trick in the book when it comes to car engines.
Bad News: She'll use half of them on your car the first time you make her mad.
Good News: She can make you feel all tingly and strange.
Bad News: She does this by overcooking your dinner.
Good News: She laughs at your jokes.
Bad News: She doesn't speak English.
Good News: She says that thoughts of you keep her up all night.
Bad News: Those thoughts were of revenge for some petty crime that you weren't even aware you committed.
Good News: She wants to spend the rest of her life with you.
Bad News: Or at least sufficient time to avoid deportation.
Good News: You finally worked up the courage to pour your heart out to the woman you love and ask her to marry you.
Bad News: You didn't realize that underneath her large hair she was wearing a Walkman and didn't hear a word you said.
Good News: She promises that she'd never dump you.
Bad News: You left the relationship five months ago.
c 1997 Sandy Lindsey
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