2. He wants you to hold up one side of the boat trailer so he can put the tires back on it.

3. He asks if he can borrow the license plate from your car to use on his trailer.

4. His idol is the Love Boat's Captain Stubing.

5. He starts adding the nickname "Barnacle" to your name when talking to you.

6. He's extremely proud of the fact that his boat hasn't sunk once so far this year.

7. He opens the cooler to show you the ships doctor -- Dr. Pepper.

8. He makes his wife do her hair like Kathie Lee and act as your "cruise" hostess.

9. He puts two cases of beer and two cases of Fritos on board, even though it's only the three of you going out for an hour.

10. He doesn't think there's anything wrong with his boat name -- Son of Sam -- because his dad's name is Sam.

c 1997 Sandy Lindsey

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