And Now, for Another Edition of
The IRREVERENT HOUR...

I was a Maladjusted Musical Mishap

(Or Rather, a Dyslexic Idiot-Savant)

By Alanna Fox

When I was growing up I had many disadvantages as many other children do. Some children are gifted musically, where I was seriously lacking. Not only did I not have any talent whatsoever, I also had no idea of what sounded good. Disco notwithstanding, I listened to some pretty bad stuff back in the seventies, and for good reason. I was a Dyslexic Idiot Savant.

Let me explain. You may or may not know that an Idiot Savant is a child who generally doesn't have much in the brain department but has a whole lot of love to spare in the heart department. Most Idiot Savants have one saving grace, in one area, in which they are a genius. For instance, I knew an Idiot Savant who couldn't remember to brush his hair and teeth everyday but he knew every actor's name in every movie that has been in existence since the dawning of Hollywood History. Another Idiot Savant I knew could barely remember how to vacuum his house even though he spent over an hour doing so everyday, only to find his memory wiped clean when it came to this simple household task. However, he had memorized every statistic that has ever been performed by any of the Los Angeles Lakers, present or past. He remembered every player's personal performance, every game, every score, every city every game was played in, and every point that was scored and how the winning point was made. He was even aware of how people were penalized, and for how much time or money!

I am not like this at all. I know a lot about a lot. I even have a near-genius I.Q., but when it came to music, I was a complete idiot, a dutz, a Dyslexic Idiot Savant.
Sure Shaun Cassidy was cute, but...
And how could I forget the croonish stylings of *eek* Donny and Marie Osmond!!!! I believe my favorite song they sang began, "A my name is Alice, And my boyfriend's name is Andy, we come from Alabama, and we like Apples..." It also mentioned something about the "game of love". (This being, of course, another thing I knew nothing about...)

Well it has been quite a few years since my childhood and, thank goodness, Mother Nature has given me a new lease on my musical life. No, I can't play a lick (on any instrument) but I now have a gift. I know what sounds good, finally, after years of hard work, and years of dating --dare I say it-- MUSICIANS! Ugh! Now I know about the "game of love", and I know a good lick when I hear it...
I had misfortune in love, after seeing how the average Los Angeles musician treated relationships like a "game". However, what did come from these not-so-fun games was a well-versed repetoire of musical history.
Among my new Jazz favorites are performers: Dizzy Gillespie (Man can he ever blow!), Miles Davis, Charlie Parker (th' "Hawk"!), and many others.

I also got deeply into World Beat Music. My most favorite in this category is a man that I had the great privilege and honor of meeting in person: RAHAT Fateh Ali Khan, rest his glorious soul. He obtained the title of Rahat, meaning King, just before he passed from this world. (Before that he was known as Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan). Fateh Ali Khan was been labeled the "World's Most Important Qawwali Singer". He sang his religious devotion music in the Urdu language, and lived in Pakistan, where his family still lives. For those of you who think you have never heard of him, he sang on "The Last Temptation of Christ" Movie Soundtrack, and he did work with Peter Gabriel, and also with Eddie Vedder of Pearl Jam.
(and for those of you who are wondering, no, I don't like the musical whimsy of Peter Gabriel, and yes, I really dig Pearl Jam!).
Other World Beat musicians I have come to really love include Hamza El Din, a fantastic musician from Nubia (but he now resides in San Francisco), ALi Akbar Khan (India Blue is my favorite song by him--he also sings Qawwali, the devotional music of the Sufi religion), Dead Can Dance (Dark, but incredibly sexy), Dougie MacLean (folksy, Scottish and passionate), Ali Farka Toure (African, and political), and many others.

Oh, did I mention that now I adore George Clinton and "Pass the Peas" Funkadelic?

I have even gotten into new, improved Alternative rock! I am even impressed with the not-as-angry lyrical insights in Alannis Morrisette's new album, and I even listen to an Alternative Rock radio station. (Okay, when I drive out of the mountains, towards Sacramento. The stations here in the boonies are: A. Country Western (gag); or B. Mexican Polka (how the hell DID that ever happen, anyway?!); or C. AM Talk Radio/Ancient Religious Rhetoric (Unless, of course, I am listening to the extremely cool Art Bell show...)

Now, I hope you are seeing the point here. I have learned to love good music and to stay away from Los Angeles-based musicians. Basically, and luckily, I have been transformed from a Pupa-Stage Dyslexic Idiot Savant/Musical Mishap into a beautiful flying dancing, hip-hop happenin' Musical Butterfly!
(Or, would you believe Gypsy Moth?)

Hey, at least I can fly!!! ...And pick out some cool tunes!

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© 1999 by Alanna Fox
Please do not copy or reprint this without express permission by the author...
hypfox@oocities.com

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