Monday: Zoe went home that morning, then got sent home sick from work. She did send me an apology for jerking me around- which is more than Remington usually manages (i.e. he doesn't get that he is jerking me around), so that was nice of her.
Went to Remington's for the night- actually had nothing else to do, other than eat pizza- and mostly I sat around reading while he was on IRC. Namely, Melissa was really getting into him for being a bad host and abandoning his friends and making his girlfriends take care of his drunken ass...you get the drill. Even though Zoe and I weren't offended/pissed by that, she sure was. He got kinda annoyed/depressed about that, and muttering "why is she getting into me all the time?" To be honest, she does make it sound like he's the evil villian that's going to fuck us both up. Which we don't approve of.
Zoe also came online that night to ask if he could come see her Wednesday. He asks me, I say yes, then he starts getting into me for letting him run me over. Okay, I know I let everyone run my life, but in this case, what else can I do? Be an evil bitch and say no? It makes the two of them happy (I mean, he obviously wanted to go) and I can do homework interrupted (I'm trying to think of the bright side). But still, it is really sounding to me like this is going to become a regular thing...one day a week in SC for him. Both of them said they hadn't been doing that deliberately, and I know that- but that is how it is obviously evolving. Especially since next week she's going to be in Davis for training Wednesday night next week. Yes, that is fairer...but I am slightly bothered about getting a day or two cut back. (I used to see him some Sunday nights. Not any more.) But again, nothing I can do about it. I'd feel like an evil bitch if I said no and hate myself for it. On the bright side, Zoe did say she admired me. Awww.
Tuesday: Zoe and I did some negotiations on the fairness of things and/or lack thereof- totaling hours that each of us spends with him. It adds up to her getting more, mainly because when he's here Remington wants to go out with people or to meetings or whatever and I see him alone for maybe an hour or two a night before he conks out.
So kinda going on that whole thing, plus her taking 'one of my days' (she said "He acts like weekdays are assigned to you." I didn't comment on that other than saying that "well, weekends are definitely assigned to you, so..." Actually we had been talking about that at the party, how she didn't want him to come for a weekend if he wanted to be with me on a weekend. I said that he wanted to be with her too, so...), we somehow arranged it so that I'd go down to Santa Cruz with him Friday night and we'd all hang out till Sunday, when I'd go back and they'd go to some party of her parents'. Well, I do like that idea...another day with him. And for once him not leaving early before I can even get home on Friday to say goodbye to him. I REALLY hate it when he does that (more on that later).
(The weekday thing of having to get up early SUCKS, SUCKS, SUCKS. But again, I'm not going to get a weekend with him ever in all likelihood, so I should shut up and accept it. Then again, I'm still annoyed I had to get up this morning (7:30 for god's sake) when I wanted to stay in bed and maybe that has something to do with it.)
Went to Rumsey in order to do my homework for design class (make a chair- I needed his glue gun, and I figured this way he'd get to see the project if I did it there. I did a forest chair- made out of a tree trunk and a tree behind it, with sticks for armrests, and other trees surrounding it so the sitter could have a nice private woodsy area...bizarre but interesting. Hopefully someone'll get it. And it is fantasy...Remington liked it =) We also watched Grosse Pointe Blank while doing that...he loved it, I wasn't that into it. Sigh.
The annoying thing about going to Rumsey is that it's a. so far out, and b. somehow things seem to take forever and run too late there. It amounts to get there, putter around reading for a bit while waiting for him to cook/do laundry/mess with things, go to bed real late (like that 1 am dinner), conk out, get up bloody early and leave. I like his house and being at a place without roommates (yay quiet!), but sometimes I wonder what the point is. If we're supposed to spend more time together out there as he usually claims, it never works. Or almost never works. It's much better there on weekends, I think...but not like I'll know much about that.
Plus, his clothes didn't get dry by the time we left, so we have to go up again Thursday night...after massage...which gets out 8:45. Yeah, that'll get a lot done.
Was bugging Remington on IRC before class today about how I usually like to bug him constantly while he's at work, and how this makes me feel like a needy psycho at times. He was trying to make me feel better about it. Well, he does do that about everything and I love that. Usually people don't do that (most make me feel like shit, actually). And also that I hate it when he leaves for SC or other trips before I get out of afternoon class. I just want to say goodbye, dammit, and he usually takes off. Well, today he said he was leaving 4-4:30ish, and I got home 3:30 ish to find he wasn't there...I was so bloody depressed about it. I mean, I know that's ridiculous of me. But that really bugs me. I look forward to talking to him at least for a little while on IRC after I'm out of class (gives me something to look forward to besides "whoopee, I can go home and do homework!"), and I almost felt like crying, for godsake. Pathetic, pathetic, pathetic. God, it's some of the signs of obsession all over again, ddammit!!! This worries me. I do NOT want to prove people right about how I will become a psycho again, or a worse psycho.
Anyway, at four he came back on, and I was relieved. And less cry-y feeling. Even though he was on for like a minute. God, I'm silly.
Zoe also came on around the same time, going on about the balance in time...i.e. she added it up that I get one more night and she gets four more hours alone. But somehow she wants this reversed...apparently she's now planning to be in town Wed and Thurs night, and I guess they'll be together Saturday and Sunday (she mentioned me getting a Friday?)...but then she had to leave, so I didn't get this too clarified. In fact I was quite confused. Asked Remington what was up, and he didn't know. But he did start griping about how we divide up his time and leave him with no time to get things done. Well, uh, dunno what to say to that either. I told him to discuss it with her.
Back Forth Front page Posts page
Get your own Free Home Page