"There's only one certainty in the cards Life deals you- a reminder that you are not in control." Harry ZinkWell, I'm FINALLY back at my page. As you can probably guess, my dad has been a pain in the ass about the Internet. I wasn't on for days, go on for an hour while they're outside with the truck (we got a new truck yesterday, more later), he came in and started at me. Frankly, I've been trying to catch up on all my other sites when I've been able to get on, so I haven't even gotten here yet. Damn, I'm a net-head. I'm only getting to do an entry now because they've gone to get me Granddaddy's fridge (fortunately they didn't bring me!). No nagging today, although I did hear a lot of "You should call someone." But I don't feel like it. I just REALLY wanted on here uninterruped. Everyone's probably at work anyway, I keep telling myself . . . but this is really why I'm not calling around like I should be. Like I said I would. Like people want me to. I'm so bad.
But I've been writing lots of stuff for the page (rants), and I'm wanting to put them up. But first, here's the news:
Before I lelf school I found out that they won't tell me my address or phone number for summer school until the day I move in, or who my roommate(s) is/are. And there are no fridges or microwaves for rent. In short, the school is NOT gonna be helpful here.
We got a new truck to haul stuff to school, and I like it. I can even fit inside it (tricky when there's 3 in the family). Although it was weird to give up the car that The Moron and I had been in (none of your business as to what we were doing) so many times. Oh well, onward and upward and trying to forget, right?
My mom has been dipping in the memory till in that area. A few days before I came home she mentioned that she'd been looking through my box of stuff from The Moron (buried in the darkest corner of my room). So when I came home I find these objects from the box prominently displayed in the room! 
The dreamcatcher he gave me for Christmas years ago is hung up on my bed again, the 
gold frog (former good luck piece) is on my dresser again, and my senior ball photo cube was also there, with the picture of him and Anna face up. So Saturday I said to her, "Why are these all out again?" She didn't really explain (and the rest of the box contents are gone now. Huh?) that one much, but did try to steal my frog (I won't let her keep it). Frankly, I don't get her sometimes. It's not as if he's coming back into my life here anyway.
Did go out to the movies a bit- saw Six Days, Seven Nights with the parents, Truman again with Anna and Demma, Red Corner and L.A. Confidential on video. Therefore, I must review them all:
Six Days, Seven Nights: While normally I'm pretty grossed out by old guys scamming on young 'uns, this movie has done it the best as I've seen in awhile. They at least acknowledge what they're doing. And both Harrison and Anne do a good job (although I was getting damned tired of seeing her titties. And unfortunately I kept thinking of a line someone repeated to me that you could tell when Ellen was on the set because Anne's nipples went haywire. Too much information). See, a lesbian CAN do a love scene. It's called "acting."My parents were all annoyed at David Schwimmer, but actually I didn't find him too nerdy until she went to Tahiti. They were all, "How would she fall for him?" I thought, "She's thirtyish, living in New York in the 90's, dating a guy who would send her huge bouquets and take her to the Caribbean. She's be pretty damned lucky to get him!" All in all, entertaining.
Red Corner: Not as bad as I thought it would be- at least Richard Gere wasn't scamming his lawyer (who did an excellent job, by the way). He didn't look that good in it, but there was still a butt shot. The movie reminded me of a regular courtroom flick, but in China and more abuse/biased officials than I've seen since Shawshank Redemption.
L.A. Confidential: EXCELLENT, EXCELLENT movie. Fantastic. The guy who played Bud was hot, Kim did great, I even liked Suck-Up Boy (Ed) at the end. Although the guy from Babe sure bummed me out- quite disturbing after that movie. I wanna get the book!
Okay, now I'm gonna go on to the rants: I may not be able to do another entry for god-knows how long, but at least you'll have a lot to read:
It's same old, same old in good ol' Liverbore. All the little overachievers in the newspaper- a huge number of valedictorians this year, most of whom are going to Berkeley (of course). A few to other places, two to Davis. As usual, I felt incredibly low and stupid reading every test score and award of theirs. I've picked up the disturbing habit of reading the wedding announcements in fear that soon my old classmates will be getting married- so far, so good. But I get nervous reading the ones that attended a local school, then a semi-local U (i.e. Livermore High grad/Davis grad), then moved back here. Does anyone ever leave, I wonder?
And that part about the newspapers in Livermore? That wasn't bullshit. I found an article today entitled, "She's lived here and abroad, but loves Livermore." The opening paragraphs are:
As a Navy wife, Connie Marcuso lived in Hawaii, Singapore, New York, and Washington D.C. But she would trade them all for Livermore.The other memorable lines are these:"I love it here," she says. A Livermore resident for 25 years, Mancuso's staying put.
"I'm very involved in the community." . . . She attended the chili cook-off and rodeo parade during the weekend.Oh, yeehaw, she went to the chili cook-off, there's news for ya."I'm not ready to leave here."
And then there's the word "community." This word is making me vomit the more often I hear it, because it's everywhere like fleas. How many articles in the Valley section mention that word? That article alone said it four times! It's getting to be that 90's cliche word, like "it takes a village." Geez. I'm sooo tired of community. The one good thing about anywhere described as a "community" is that you can walk outside at 11:30 at night without being raped and murdered (most of the time in the Bay Area). Other than that they are sooo stifling. I've griped before about how I always run into people here. And there's nothing to do here- I was just reading an article about how in small towns in the Midwest all anyone ever does is drink and drive because there's nothing else to do. And I'm tired of this rigamarole that I have to go through whenever I meet someone:
"Where are you from?"
"Livermore."
(blank stare) "Uh . . . where's that?"
"It's in the Bay Area."
"Huh?"
"It's about forty-five minutes from San Francisco."
"Ohhh . . . "
(This one can be alternated with the "We're the place with the nukes" version.)
God, someday I just wanna live somewhere where everybody doesn't know my name. Where the city is too big to be a "community." Where I can say the name of where I live and have everyone know where I mean (although the problem happens less in Davis, with all the science people).
I'm surprised though, that the same people who bitch with me about being bored here still want to live here (or in some other small town) when they can leave. Maybe they're the ones who are really in the cage?
I can't wait to escape small-town living when I get out of college. Although I still have the fear that some dreadful thing will happen that will force me to live here forever- nobody escapes! Aaaaaaah! What's probably the best thing about ending it with The Moron is that this problem wouldn't happen- he went nuts last year and decided he wants to keep living here forever. My God.
Well, that's quite enough for one page, so go down to the bottom and find the link to continue reading the rants-
Links to other sites on the Web
Animation Station (car)
SheriBerry Graphics (dreamcatcher)
Icon Bazaar (frog, island bar)
Graphic Station (city, man in box)
Go here to read rants on marriage, music, true love, and nuns!
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