Life Was Luann

My Soap-Operatic Life

"When someone leaves you, apart from missing them, apart from the fact that the whole little world you've created together collapses, and that everything you see or do reminds you of them, the worst is the thought that they tried you out and, in the end, the whole sum of parts which adds up to you got stamped REJECT by the one you love. How can you not be left with the personal confidence of a passed-over British Rail sandwich?" -Bridget Jones

I was working on my quote list recently (there's a ton I got out of Bridget Jones's Diary) and found this, which reminded me of what's been going on in Luann recently (well, last week to me, since this is from the archives). Only this time it wasn't reminiscent of my life now, but more how I used to be. Anyway, the last week or so brought me back to old Psycho Jen. Ah, memories . . .

A note: The archives at this site are only for a month, so if you read this a month or more after the date of the strip, it's gone. However, I've still got descriptions for ya below)

It doesn't really have to do with what the theme is so much, but it's a good opener: Here's July 4th's strip:

(Luann and Puddles are in her bedroom.) "Look what I found under my bed, Puddles! A diary tape from 1996! Let's see how my life was two years ago."
(Tape turns on and is mangled toward the end) "I saw Aaron Hill mmmprh szhmrm zzzmmm . . ."
"Pretty much the same."

On the sixth, Bernice came over to Luann's. Luann's reading a magazine, Bernice is checking out the decor:

"Luann, didn't you tell me that you're done with Aaron Hill?"
"Yup. Totally done. Why?"
"Because everywhere I look in here I see Aaron Hill. It's like a shrine! (There are pictures of him, scrapbooks, posters, their initials, etc. all over the place.) "Are you done with him or not? Luann, look at me."
"Hey, Salon Secrets For Sexier Hair!"

I used to decorate like that with every guy. Like I had prom photos all over my front door, gift objects hanging off my bed, ticket stubs and stuff like that littering the dresser. Gee, a little obsessive there, Jen? Even at school I had a few of my objects and a collage of prom photos still on the wall.

The seventh:

"Aaron Hill tells you he's through with his "special someone" who, you later discover, is your brother's girl, Diane! Then you catch him locking lips with her! So you confront him, (when was that? I missed it!) tell him it's over and storm off. Yet, you have things like this (poster- "Aaron & Luann 4 Ever") hanging over your bed."
"To remind me how much I hate him, OK?"

I never used that line in the bad ol' days (it's an obvious bad one), but if I coulda gotten away with it . . . Actually, my room NOW still looks somewhat like this! Mom went through my room when I wasn't home (nice), found my box of Moron stuff, and put it all back around my room! Hung up the hanging stuff, put the small stuff back on the dresser- I thought she was becoming really twisted or something. I later found all the photos stuffed into a pile on my dresser, and the box is nowhere to be found. She seemed to claim that "I needed a box." But there still seems something fishy about this to me. Anyone else find this twisted, or is it realistic? Anyway, when I'm home I've got all these reminders of you-know-who smacking me in the head.

On the eighth, the conversation continued:

"I'm extremely disappointed in Aaron and I feel very hurt But-"
"But what? Luann, you've devoted way too much of your life to that boy! Let him GO!"
"What, just rip him out of my life? How do I do that?"
"Like this." (Bernice takes the poster and rips it in half. Luann's eyes bug out.)

I gotta sympathize with Luann here. It's a bitch to take someone out of your life after they've made a place in there- in memories anyway. It really sucks when you let them into certain things and after it's over you feel haunted or have to give them up. Like when I saw Joseph on Saturday, it was at a theater I love, and I'd thought that The Moron would appreciate it. I finally brought him in September, showed him all my favorite spots. I avoided them this time because I didn't want any flashbacks.
I haven't destroyed anything yet, but I did dismantle, box, and hide in a corner.

The ninth:

(Bernice hands a poster to Luann) "Here, you do one. It's your path to freedom."
"I've adored Aaron forever! You think ripping some posters will change that?"
"Of course not. We also have to crush these diary tapes, trash the scrapbook, shred those photos-"
"Stomp on my heart." (as she rips a poster)

Gotta agree more with Luann here than Bernice. While it's great to be able to destroy it all (if you no longer care about that stuff being wrecked), if you've got reservations to the point where you do what Luann does at the end, you might as well skip the destruction, know what I mean? And yes, it is rather heart-stomping.

Tenth: A few hours later . . .

(As they survey the trashed room) "Thanks for making me dismantle my "Aaron Shrine." I needed to do that."
"Hey, if your best bud can't help pulverize your past, who can? Oops! Gotta run! See ya."
"Bye Bern." (Luann looks around the floor, then starts taping stuff back together.)

See what I mean here? Obviously didn't work. I have the suspicion that I'd do something like that if I ever tried trashing the stuff. I still like the stuff he gave me, even if it was from him and I think of that when I see the stuff. I look good in my photos, and I find the Pretty Woman face-elimination method to look pretty damn silly anyway, so . . . And let's face the real truth, I'm still a wuss, just like Luann. Problem is, I don't have the excuse of being a fictional character who's getting set up again in the fall! Damn, some days I wish things WERE fiction.

The eleventh: Aftermath.

"Dear Diary: Aaron Hill is done. Every trace of him has been removed from my life and ripped, wadded and stomped . . . then lovingly taped, smoothed and boxed . . . "
(There's a large box on her bed. Written on it is "Aaron Hill- The Good Years. PRIVATE!")

I want my box back so I can hide the stuff.

And one more I found interesting, semi-different topic: Thirteenth: Brad's side:

(TJ hangs around as Brad works on the car) "How's things with Diane?"
"Diane? TJ, I saw her kissing that Aaron kid remember? I told you all this! Diane and I are history! Finished! End of story!"
"Oh. So you won't mind if I-"
"-Except I'm thinking of giving her another chance."

Another difference between fiction and reality: In reality nobody gets another chance after betrayal, or their tossed objects back (unless their mother is twisted too?). I saw a Suddenly Susan episode (Susan has a thing for Jack, but she caught him making out with her archenemy) in which she was all bent out of shape (literally) from tension from that, and the chiropractor/massage guy told her to get rid of any objects the guy gave her.
"Well, all he gave me was this boxing nun."
"Cute! Now get rid of it."
So she does, and the back problem goes away. A day later, her landlady (who apparently goes through the trash like my mother) finds the nun and tells her she shouldn't throw out a good nun. The back problem returns.

As you mighta noticed, all this is SIGNS that they're being set up for reuniting in the fall (or season finale, in Susan's case- they wound up kissing). Ah, the niceness of unreality. Reality bites. If I really were fictional my stuff being put back would mean there was hope instead of "my mom's a bit nuts". All my friends doing twisted things would be a comedy moment instead of just damn scary. And people could come back from the dead. Wouldn't that be nice?

Oh, and I did another Spotfans post for their anniversary. However, this is a parody of someone else on the site (who hasn't done an entry for MONTHS, apparently refuses to do so). Vladi is his dog. Anyway, if you wanna check it out . . . Parody Post

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