"I was underwhelmed." -George S. Kaufman, reviewing a play.
I saw the musical 42nd Street last night, and that review above partially describes my reaction. Well, to be more exact, my reaction was "Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, I wanna go home." BAD play. BAD, BAD, BAD.My favorite musical is City of Angels (no, not the movie), because it's written with such brilliance- cool staging, great way to get things across, double messages everywhere, written by a man with a brain (Larry Gelbart- I think). As opposed to 42nd Street, which was written by brainless morons, I guess. Even besides the fact that almost everyone in the play is relentlessly simple-minded and chipper and start dancing in public for no reason whatsoever (things that bugged the hell outta me when I was a child- I'd turn to Mom and go, "People don't just start singing in real life!"), this is stupid. Plot holes EVERYWHERE. Is the chipper ingenue supposed to be getting romantic with the lead guy or the director (when they kissed was the only steamy bit in the play)? Who knows? One moment the lead actress is singing a broken-hearted song, and after intermission they got married (not onstage), plus she's the ingenue's new friend? What? There's entire acts that have nothing to do with the plot. Are they part of the musical the characters are putting on? What is that musical about anyway? Nothing relates to anything. And the final annoyance is when the lead actor is shot onstage (during the performance of the musical, I think), very conspicuously- after the body's dragged offstage, the entire cast, including his girlfriend or whoever, dances away happy and smiling again!!! My God, it was stupid. I would have walked out, but I didn't have the car keys (or license). I assume they only called it 42nd Street because that made a better title than "Stupid Crappy Musical."
On another topic, I found some more of those personal ads- these ones I'd left at home and just found them yesterday. Hope you enjoy 'em.
First is the "I'm a loser, baby" section. We're bored or unstudly, and proud of it:
What's Wrong With . . . this picture? It's Friday evening and I'm watching Kirby vacuum cleaner sales reps shampoo my carpet. Single GWF, 40-something, needs rescuing from door-to-door salespersons!Asking for trouble?:Bald! Glasses! 46! Insecure, unprofessional, GWM, WLTM, GM, 40-60, any race, for friendship/relationship. I'm all the above and more.
Are You Out There? Passive, DWM, 43, ISO an aggressive woman who is looking for a man who will worship the ground she walks on.Nordic Goddess Endowed with obvious youth and beauty, seeks sincere, generous, gentleman with the means to adorn and spoil this blonde 5'9 model quality exotic dancer and show her a good time.
Royalty (incidentally, also put on same page with a "Kiss the Frog" ad):Rescue Me This damsel needs a knight in shining armour to make her believe in prince charming again.Same Page Comparisons Again:The Quest There once was a handsome SW prince who had a wonderful life. he was 40 years old, very intelligent, had a successful career, and was quite fit and dashing. His interests included movies, theater, literature, tennis, roller coasters and sharing bubble baths by candlelight. The prince had never married, but had learned much from his previous relationships and was committed to a path of personal growth. The only thing missing was a princess: SWF who was slender and very attractive, emotionally healthy, and- like the prince- not willing to settle for less than an extraordinary relationship. The prince requested that interested princesses send a letter to . . . Was his quest successful? Only time will tell.
Tinkerbell Seeks mature Peter Pan, responsible yet playful. Vibrant, sweet, assertive, pretty professional SWF, 37, seeks educated, witty, fun, romantic, professional, SWM, 32-42, for fantastic flight. Ring my bell for magical LTR.Interesting writing:Tinkerbell Seeking HookTired of unfaithful Peters. 45, 5'2/115, auburn brown-wide eyes IMP. Ready for the Hook. Save me! I still believe. Lost Boys need not apply.
Capricorn Sun Cancer moon, Pieces Rising, A+ blood type, 12-30-1963 11 am, yet astrologically skeptical. Convince me. Open-minded, well traveled professional, white, with sexy voice.Lip men, Part 2:Elaine Seeks Jerry funny, smart, pretty, perky, quirky, intrepid NY girl, seeks attractive, intelligent, cultured, successful fun guy to make me laugh. Are you spongeworthy?
Ultimate French . . . kisser, seeking flaming female who would like to experience the ultimate french kiss by a very talented French Latino, cool, 30's, you imaginative, sensual with hot lips for flaming kisses.More hunks:
Not Fat, Ugly, Or Bald. Attractive fit, SWM. Open minded with many interests WLTM petite, active, attractive, and fun female with a life.Kinkies:Very Handsome Masseur SWM, extremely healthy, in perfect shape, 6'/175, lean and muscular, 24, recent graduate of massage school currently seeking SWF, 18+ for conversation, friendship, and possible massage for practice.
I Won! I Won! I Won! I recently won the wet underwear contest at Pussy Galore's Ladies Club in Dallas, TX. Now just arrived here in Sacramento, gorgeous SWM 24, baby blue eyes WLTM SWF 18-27 to please show me around town.
I'm A Little Red Rooster and the barnyard feels empty without you. To get this athletic, good humored, professional rooster strutting and crowing again, he needs to connect with an attractive Asian, Hispanic or exotic hen, 35-45, that likes her feathers tickled and enjoys life. Hens into ruffling feathers or henpecking need not apply. Cock-a-doodle-doo!Hot Dog Looking For A Bun 20yo, MWM, good looking, looks better naked, 5'11, fit, brown/green, WLTM fast, fun, and furious, SF, 18+, who also looks great naked for kinky, erotic sex.
You know, it's weird when you're talking to someone new and don't know which areas they're sensitive about- what areas to avoid in conversation and what not to say. For example, my latest to FDG- I mentioned that I probably wasn't going to go to grad school, and he got all quiet. (Note that I didn't say that NOBODY should or something extreme here- I just don't think I'm that interested, okay?) And turns out he wants to go to law school. I suppose it's mutual- he mentioned his bar mitzvah, and then asked if I knew what it was (duh! Okay, so I didn't say duh, but thought it.).My biggest blooper to date was with The Moron, when I started going off about how I hate smoking and the guy turned out to be a sometime smoker. I didn't find this out until he decided to throw out the pack in his jacket pocket before I found them (I was wearing the jacket at the time). He just quit alluva sudden for me. Awww . . . But since then, I've been a bit more careful. I've learned not to bad-mouth the Greek system, since certain people I know turned out to be IN it. And now I don't badmouth them- the ones in Davis, anyway, which are pretty tame. But still, the awkwardness and guardedness isn't fun. Like when I'm meeting new roommates and trying not to be too weird around them- this doesn't seem to work too well. I suspect that this thing with FDG is not going to work out anyway, because he seems just too darned normal for the likes of me.
Mom doesn't know (and I don't think it would be a good idea to mention) that FDG is in a frat. Every year she watches Oprah's "Frat Rape" episode (there always seems to be one on), drags me in to watch it, and goes, "Now you stay away from those frat boys, because they'll rape you!" The woman is paranoid. I took precautions the one time I went to a frat, nothing happened, and it wasn't a problem. And all of the Greek guys and girls (well, especially Elena) I've met were really nice, actually. I'm not that worried, but I know it'll flip her out. The whole panic thing is gonna go through her mind, plus mental pictures of me sneaking out of the frat house at 6 a.m.- hopefully I can avoid telling her this. Unless she ever gets to talk to him, in which case the cat will probably be let out of the bag.
Or an even more fun one- if religiously Catholic Auntie Dolores finds out FDG isn't into that religion. (Not that I'm into the Catholic religion either- I think it's evil and I hate that I got baptized one.) I don't know what she'd say, and I don't wanna find out. Oh no, I'm guy-obsessing again! And I just thought I was over it!
My personal theme song is "Love Stinks." Or something like that. E-mails: gr3ruth@pacbell.net or jdrutherford@ucdavis.edu.
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