"While I'm impressed we finally have a president with a penis, I did not request this information." -Zach GarlandFamous words in history:"It's not as if their world is going to fall apart because the president lied." -Tony Ayres, discussing children's reactions to this
"Calendrically speaking, this is what the British used to call the silly season." -Russell Baker on the month of August
"I am not a crook!" -Richard Nixon"Read my lips: No new taxes." -George Bush
"I did not have sexual relations with that woman." -Bill Clinton
Lots of hype going on beforehand- a whole thing on the SF news about "Where's Gore? Nobody's seen him for a week since he went to Hawaii. Who's gonna run the country now?" "How to tell your kids about oral sex." "What we think he's going to say." Pictures of Ken Starr smiling and waving to the cameras. Details of Clinton being forced to elaborate on almost every kinky sexual practice, against his will.
Then came the show. From the beginning, when I thought, "Dang, he looks weird when you look at him full face. His nose looks all bulby and crooked", to the middle, when I thought, "Hmm, why is he going off and attacking Starr again?", to the end when my mother said, "Hey, he didn't apologize for anything!"- I had my hand over my mouth, snickering. Damn, that was goofy.
For those of you who missed it (i.e. everyone I was out with last night!), Clinton:
a. bitched that he had to answer personal questions
b. said they had an "inappropriate relationship"
c. said he was responsible and it was a lapse in judgement (isn't this entire thing a lapse in judgement?), but he didn't ask for anyone to lie
d. said he misled people and he regrets that (as close to an apology as it got)
e. was REALLY pissy at Starr- THAT was the message that came across more than anything. I got a laugh at him rubbing it in that Starr has yet to find any evidence of wrongdoing.
f. said "Even presidents have private lives" (yeah, right- tell that to the media as they film the windows of the White House)
g. said he wants people to stop paying attention to all of this (again, yeah, right)
What was even funnier was that Peter Jennings's mouth was practically hanging open afterwards. Clearly fumbling for something to say, he started babbling that "this was not the speech we thought he was going to make", or something like that. Georgie S. also said it "wasn't as contrite as I expected." Kinda makes me wonder if they expected Clinton to get on his knees and beg for forgiveness to the cameras (again, yeah, right).
My mother the staunch Republican was both saddened/disgusted, yet joyful that this would guarantee that a Republican would be elected next time, no question. (You should have heard her this morning, looking at his face on the paper and going, "I hate that face, he always does it! I hate that face!" She meant that one he does, all scrunched up, thinlipped pout) She also said, "Bob Dole wouldn't have done this." I said, "Yeah, because he didn't have Viagra then." Ever think that this hasn't happened for a while in the White House because the last bunch of presidents were too old/impotent to get up to any trouble? They don't sleep around because they CAN'T sleep around. Guess that's what happens when you elect somebody whose Social Security hasn't kicked in yet.
I suppose I should say this before I continue: I truly believe that every single politician lies (and if able, screws around). Every single damn one of 'em. I see the lying as an occupational hazard of living in a country founded on the premise of democracy. To appeal to enough people, all of whom have varying interests, you've got to lie to be elected. Or if you were telling the truth, you'll change positions somewhat to keep supporters. Fledgling politicians with good intentions are at least halfway corrupted by the time they win the election. As for the sex, well, I guess horny buggers are just attracted to the positions of power and pretty girls smiling at you. If politicians had any brain cells, they'd get those chemical castration pills- because apparently you can't EVER have sex if you're a politician in today's society. Ever ever ever. But do they do that? Nooooo.
So why don't we get better people to run for office, many people say. There's gotta be better people to do it. Well, yes, but do they want to? It's a frustrating, dirty job; and if you don't have a lust for power, you basically have no motivation to do it. It's a tough life to live, sucking up all the time, spending all your money on promotional items. I certainly wouldn't want to do it. And like I've mentioned, the job corrupts even the sincere. We might as well live with these slimy, horny little boogers, instead of corrupting new ones.
And yes, I continue to vote, even when I think that everyone's corrupt. Well, someone's still got to do it- hardly anyone else does. And besides that, I don't vote on people's morals, I vote on their politics. I don't care if the Republicans are all eunuchs and go to church every Sunday and the Democrats fuck everything that moves: I still can't vote for people who aren't pro-choice (I'm not thrilled with the idea of abortion, but I'd rather women who want one get them done by a doctor in a clinic instead of shoving a coat hanger up themselves in their living room.) and support tobacco money and guns everywhere and mandatory prayer in schools (hello, not everyone's a Christian, that's not fair), etc, etc. Can't do it. All the Republicans were upset that NOW and the women's groups weren't attacking Clinton- well, duh, it's pretty obvious why. If they attack the guy who puts women in positions of power, etc, they're shooting themselves in the foot, and then they'll be stuck with Republicans who won't do that.
So what is the point of this entry, you ask: It's not really saying anything new about Clinton (I just read the whole thing over and realized that). Well, I guess that my messages for today are these:
1. Clinton's acting rather stupidly. Kinda scary that the man with his finger on the nuclear button is thinking with his prick.
2. However, we're all making a huge deal out of this, and acting like it's a complete shock- he lies and gets blow jobs, oh my god! Like we (i.e. everyone other than Hillary) never knew that? It's not fresh news by now, folks.
3. We're all saying that he should have kept the presidential zipper zipped (again, we're acting like nobody ever heard of a politician committing adultery before)- but if you think about it, what other job is there in our society where it's THIS BIG A DEAL if anyone has sex? Heck, when PRIESTS are caught, it doesn't make this big a stink, and they're the ones who are supposed to NEVER do it. We don't know what's up with the Clintons' sex life (although we can sure guess that he may not be getting enough at home), but Bill never swore to never have sexual contact. And we're all pretending that he did.
4. Politicians lie and screw. There's no way to prevent them from becoming people that do that. Live with it.
5. Despite all of Starr's nosiness, etc, etc. there still isn't any proof that Clinton was getting others to lie for him. Until he does, this is all a waste of money, plus it makes Starr look terribly obsessed.
6. Is this really something that deserves impeachment? I mean, really? He coulda done a lot worse (remember Nixon).
7. We're better off voting for people based on their political views, which actually get put into practice in the law, than their character/morals, which don't too often.
Just my humble opinion.
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