"Having seen a movie is like a social coin. The more you see, the more currency you have. In fact, I've rarely heard anybody say, when asked, that "we didn't see that." They may have lied. But it's just not the thing to admit." -Carlfred Broderick(I heard the title on a TV show, okay? I just couldn't resist.)
I've noticed something happening to me in recent years: Whatever the movie that's The Big Thing that EVERYONE is seeing (some years over and over), I just don't want to see it.
Take Titanic (please), for example. I used to be a Titanic buff. Read a bunch of books, etc. And I wanted to see the movie . . . until I saw the trailer for it, and when they were on the far end of the ship and it's going straight down . . . oh my God! It took all my restraint not to scream and call for Mommy. Which is when I originally decided I wasn't going to see this movie.
Of course as things went on and the movie came out, I started hearing that Leo died. And now I really didn't want to see it (as I've mentioned before, I hate these movies in which one of the lovers is killed off, they depress the hell out of me.). But Titanic was The Big Thing. No, wait, it turned out to be
It got worse. People stopped asking me if I'd seen it yet (not "Have you seen it?", but "Have you seen it yet?") and started asking me HOW MANY TIMES I'd seen it. My own parents did this. People flipped out when they heard the news. I just wanted to scream "I DON'T WANNA SEE IT! I DON'T CARE HOW GOOD IT IS! I DON'T CARE HOW MANY OSCARS IT WINS! LEAVE ME ALONE!"
This summer, Saving Private Ryan came out. The Big Thing. The Future Oscar Winner. The one you HAVE to see. It's a Spielberg. It's got the excellent Tom Hanks. It's got droolbait Current Hot Thing Matt Damon. As I've mentioned before, my cliquish roommates went to see it. It's another must-see.
Another one I didn't want to see. This time I heard the opening scene at Omaha Beach was gory. Really gory. Really gory.
"It's so realistic, just like it really was in WWII."
"It's really disturbing."
"They set up a hotline for people to call who are disturbed by it."
Did I mention that I hate war stuff? Gory scenes? That I've never had any desire to see what was REALLY looks like?
And then I read Diane Patterson's review of it, and it was reading this that made me VERY sure that I didn't want to, no matter HOW good it was. Sure, most of the review is very positive, but this quote scared me:
OhmyGodohmyGodmakeitstoppleasepleasepleasemakeitstopSure, she then said this stuff:
oh good, here's a nice
sceneit'shappeningagainmakeitstopidon'twantto oh, this is
pleasant, let's stay here that'stheendofohmyGodhelphelp.
"In case you're avoiding seeing this movie because of the first half hour, allow me to point out that I managed to stomach the entire thing with my eyes wide open, and I cannot sit through the audio portion of Ren and Stimpy." (Who could that isn't under the age of ten? -JR)But still . . . like I said, no matter how good it is and what everyone says, I gotta go with my instincts."Overall-like you need me to tell you this-Saving Private Ryan is a really good movie and you should go see it."
But I'm at home now. And my dad LOVES war movies. I got forced to go Friday.
I was right, I think. I couldn't even watch it, really, for the first half-hour- I either squinted so I couldn't see the gore or just closed my eyes. Which is basically how I watched Red Asphalt Three, the infamous driver's ed video that shows decapitated people, in high school. I'd look up, thinking things were okay, then see this trail of blood . . . "EEEEEEWWWWW!"
I really had a hard time comprehending what was going on (plotwise) a lot of the time, obviously because of the bullets flying 'round. It was hard to tell most of the guys apart (doesn't matter, most of them die anyway, I felt like I was reading All Quiet on the Western Front again). Yeah, sure, Tom and Matt do a good job. And my parents give it a thumbs-up review. They say it really shows what people were fighting for, etc, etc. I guess it does. But frankly, I can't get into war flicks. Maybe I would if I could stand to watch gore.
In other reviews . . .
Saw The Avengers Saturday. Now, before I begin, I'd just like to say that I've never seen the series, only heard of it when the movie came out, therefore this will not be a "why isn't this like the old days" comparison like I've been hearing.
It's interesting, I'll say that. Extremely stylistic, dialogue all icy quips or scientific mumbo-jumbo delivered in the same cool tone- not a lot of emotions here in the delivery. The occasional rhyming quip (sheesh), TONS of teatimes (geez, you got anything else to do but drink tea? Even in the CAR there's a tea dispenser!), the occasional thing that really cracked me up (an old lady starts shooting guys, then goes, "I hope they were baddies." Or something like that). But it certainly is a visual feast- LOTS to look at, weather patterns, August's household garden, a meeting room full of human-sized colored teddy bears (I'm not kidding), an invisible man (guess who that was), and especially Emma's clothes. Oooh, Emma's clothes. I want to raid her wardrobe (I'm too short to fit into any of her clothes, but oh well). She made ME want a catsuit, and who ever wears a catsuit outside of a movie? (Incidentally, I found out it costs $2000 to get one) As for the plot, while there's a few gaps (who was that Peel twin, how did Emma find out "How now brown cow?" I think they cut some of the crucial details. And I'm still wondering how this huge number of people got into Steed's place without him noticing them or them even MOVING.), it managed to keep me awake and somewhat interested. But oooh, Emma's clothes . . .
I forgot to review That Thing You Do! when I saw it last week (or so). Anyway, four guys hit it big with the song- betcha can't guess what it's called!- in the 60's. Kinda predictable, but in a way not so predictable. The bandmembers and others are:
Jimmy: The prima donna jerk-off lead singer/writer, off on an ego trip, IMO. Ignores his girlfriend (sorta, uh, like his girlfriend) almost completely.
Lenny: Other singer/guitar person, cute and friendly, future Vegas lounge act.
The Bass Player (T.B. Player): Wants to join the military and for some unexplained reason has no name. Never called on, "where's our bass player?", only referred to as T.B. Player at the end. I'm gonna take a wild guess that T.B. stands for "The Bass" 
Why does this guy have no name? Why? What is the point of that?
Guy: The drummer. Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous, I want him.
Faye: Jimmy's girlfriend. Sweet chick. Obviously deserves better. Practically the fifth member of the band. The manager likes her so much he lets her come along on tour as wardrobe mistress.
The manager (I forgot his name): Tom Hanks. Need I say more?
Is it good? Yeah, it's entertaining. I figured it would be better somehow, but it's not bad. Then again, I spent the movie drooling over Tom Everett Scott. Mmmm-hmmm.
On other topics, I'm going to quote (again) Diane's journal, but today's entry:
"Without getting into an analysis of her last entry, permit me to say, Waaaaah: Lizzie's quit her journal. Waaaaah."I always liked Lizzie's journal, but she threw a hissy fit after some jackasses made rude comments to her, and now it's gone. I'm so bummed. (I'd put a link, but what's the use?)
Also in Diane's journal, there was a thing on how when a couple has separate names, the guy's name is always the one listed, or listed first. She couldn't get her own car listed under her name. God, that sounds bad. (If I ever get married, I'll have the same problem. Oh joy.) And on a similar topic, today's Surface Tension mentioned some girl who was taking a class with her husband. She introduced herself as "I'm his wife." That's it, no identity.
"I wanted to say, "that's it, that's all there is to you? is that how you answer the phone? 'Josh's wife, who would you like to speak to?'"How disgusting is that?
Before I close for the day, I'd just like to share a few quotes I found in various places:
"Who doesn't think that powerful men get blow jobs?" -Kate Moses"If presidents don't do it to their wives, they do it to the country." -Mel Brooks
"If a president of the United States ever lied to the American people, he should resign." -Bill Clinton, 1974. (off the Drudge Report, I've heard)
Links to other sites on the Web
SheriBerry Graphics (porthole)
Graphic Station (rolling eyes)
Complaints and praise go to gr3ruth@pacbell.net
Get your own Free Home Page