"School days, I believe, are the unhappiest in the whole span of human existence. They are full of dull, unintelligible tasks, new and unpleasant ordinances, brutal violations of common sense and common decency." -H.L. MenckenJoin me in a flashback . . . to school summers gone by.
Lounging on the couch, relaxing and not thinking anything more complicated than keeping track of the plots on the soaps. Which, incidentally, are the only shows that can be watched at the end of summers, because every night those terrible "BACK TO SCHOOL" commercials featuring evilily estatic parents are on. Those Country Time Lemonade ones that just have to mention the dreaded words "end of summer." The ads in the newspapers. It's all over the media. But so long as you don't watch nighttime TV, so long as you skip the ad inserts, and don't look at the calendar, you can still keep the knowledge at bay. Peace will reign for a few weeks more, or something like that- you don't want to keep track of how your freedom is disappearing.
Then one day you get the mail, and it all shatters. Because you just got the thick envelope of papers with your school's address in the upper-left-hand corner. Your stomach sinks into your knees and starts to jiggle. Your head thinks, "Oh damn." You can pretend no longer.
When you are forced to open the envelope, the news is not good. Right at the top is your deadline: the first day of school. Next comes schedules- waaaay-too-early starting time for school, a too-late ending time. And you have to follow this the whole year? Following that is a weird phenomenon LHS had, forcing students to get their school pictures taken before school even starts, forcing you to come to school even before you legally HAVE to go to school! Not fair! And after that comes a bunch of nasty rules, and a year's worth of calendars with school events . . . Your time is no longer your own, it has been charted for you without your knowledge or consent. Again, not fair.
You are now forced to get up off the couch and check your calendar: You're scheduled to get your picture taken in two days, four days before school starts. Oh dammit, you think: what do I wear? You are forced to think of school before you even have to think of school. And it sucks.
In college it changes, of course: The packet is a helluva lot thicker, and is more concerned with moving arrangements than it is school ones. You get nervous, but for different, and maybe more terrifying, reasons. "I have to be packed and move in by then? Oh shit!" Your rules fill a whole booklet of "Life in the Residence Halls." Oh, joy, you think, back to dining hall food, can't wait for that (not). The decisions of what and what not to pack takes a helluva lot longer than picking out your picture outfit. Fear and dreading times ten.
So why am I writing this, you ask? I was doing pretty normal- heck, my summer just recently started, and I'm getting all weirded out that it's too late to call/write certain people because they're probably back in school, can't road-trip with Demma 'cause her school starts in early September, and they're already going on in the news about how Berkeley started yesterday. Eek, I gotta stop watching nighttime TV again, except there's actually a few shows on that I want to see (Maximum Bob, Who's Line are excellent).
Well, it's exactly a month before I go back to school, and in keeping with that, I got the paper for being a student orientation coordinator (SOC. All I can say about this name is, they better NOT go around calling me a "sock" for the next week. A sock is something stinky that goes on your foot, and I do NOT wish to be associated with that, thankyouverymuch.) I had a feeling it was going to come, I was even rather looking forward to it, since this year I actually want to go back to school. The parents have been cranky for the past two days (I hid in the garage for half an hour on Sunday because it was the only place in the house that I couldn't hear the hollering. Don't ask.), both of them have asked me "Don't you want to be with us?" and "If you don't we can make other arrangements" (I know they won't like the answers "Not today, I don't" and "Where the hell could I go?"), and well . . . my other reason, well, you know. (Which reminds me, I have got to call him and tell him what's going on here.) The thing was, as I read this paper, I felt all the old signs of stomach-dropping fear again. And my regular thick packet hasn't even come yet. They even used the phrase "And that means I must interrupt your summer vacation". I just started feeling frightened as I read the schedule. Here's what they sent me:
Thursday: 8 a.m. to noon, 1-1:25 p.m.: Move in.
1:30-5 p.m.: Training starts, have to meet with program advisors, assigned to buildings, etc, etc.
5 p.m.: Eat. Another thrilling DC repast. Oh joy. Can't tell you how exciting that is. I'm really comforted by the whole meals-don't-show-up-on-schedule thing. That's helpful, guys.
Hopefully after that: Get to finish moving in, I hope (I already know I won't be done decorating the room)
Friday: 9 a.m. to noon: (God, they're making me get up early??? Evil people!) Make banners/signs, stuff packets- fortunately all things my speed.
1-3 p.m.: Another meeting with everybody official to "train for Opening Day". Makes it sound like the Olympics- are we gonna go jogging and lift weights?
3-5 p.m.: Keep making signs and doing other miscelleanous crap.
(I'm not done yet, just have to interrupt) So what am I worried about, you ask? Well, I was hoping to get over to campus and pick up my design project and drop off my advanced writing class submissions (due the 28)- but when am I gonna have the time when everything closes at 4:30? I'm not too sure I'll have time to see you-know-who either- but well, they do leave nights free, so let's hope . . . Anyway, after realizing the time crunch, I feel all nervous. Maybe my parents can be suckered into buzzing by campus at 8 am to get stuff? Okay, back to schedule:
Saturday: 8 a.m.: Thoreau building opens (the only one in my area I haven't lived in- let's hope I'm not assigned there), and those people do check-in. Everyone else "helps their hall team complete preparations for opening on Sunday."
Sunday: 8 a.m.: Other buildings open- "SOC's will be helping their hall teams with check-in. Thoreau SOC's will begin assisting with Fall Welcome Week activities."
Monday-Sunday: (This goes until Sunday? Good God!) "SOC's will help wiht Resource Faires and Welcome Week activities throughout the week; each SOC will sign up for a specific number of events during training." (Hopefully they won't make me give the bike tours! Better not, anyway)
I thought I was going to have a little more free time than it appears. Am I gonna be able to buy books, even? I feel a great rush coming towards me, and that hasn't happened since high school when I ran back and forth and back and forth from activity to activity. Yikes. Somehow this sounds like more time usage than I was expecting.
Which brings me to the bad news- I was going to try to type up my stuff from Hawaii during that time, but it doesn't look as if I'll have the time. Who knows when it'll get done?
Continuing with the SOC news, they also sent me a list of the people assigned to my area.
Surprise #1: Most of them live off campus- who woulda thunk it? If I lived off campus I wouldn't have done this, as I could move in there whenever I wanted. I pretty much agreed to do it so I could get out of here earlier.
Surprise #2: One of those people is my ex-neighbor Jules. Big surprise- I would never have figured him for doing this. Oh well, I'll know somebody, and that's good.
Surprise #3: Only three (maybe four, it's a bit hard to tell) people on the list live in my end of Castilian (South). All on third floor. And the biggest surprise . . . one of them is my neighbor! (A girl, Andrea- what, I don't get boys living next to me again? Damn!). That sounds like it'll be interesting. Maybe I'll wind up knowing someone else around too. Cool.
Anyway . . . now I'm feeling kinda nervous about the time, but not so bad about people. Well, guess we'll see in a month, right?
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I can't believe they're already starting in Berkeley. Davis's starting so damned late is screwing up my timeline. E-mail gr3ruth@pacbell.net
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