"See, they're not all jerks." -Mom
As you just read or didn't read in the previous entry (which did not go up last night because Dad went to bed early), FDG did not call me back yesterday. And (to make a long entry short) I was pissed about it. REALLY pissed about it. I mean, that just set off every button of mine that developed during the era of The Moron about jerky phone behavior. Which is why when I typed the last entry it sounds like I went completely insane. Which is about true.And today I was still somewhat cranky about it. I went shopping with Demma to get out of the house so I wouldn't stew about him not calling. Of course this was also in the hopes that since I would not be home waiting, he would call. In the Bridget Jones tradition, really: "I will not sulk about having no boyfriend, but develop inner poise and authority and sense of self as woman of substance, complete without boyfriend, as best way to obtain boyfriend." The afternoon was fun, I became less pissy, didn't feel like killing anyone when I returned home. Great!
I get home, entertaining the fantasy that he did call while I was out, only to find out that no one called. I get kinda pissy again, and spend some time ranting to Mom about the evil Hope Monster and how guys are all scum. Her opinion on the thing, which I do not share as a result of being burned too many times by you-know-who, is that there's an explanation or something or maybe he was shy, etc; and that he will call. I go, "Nooo, he's not going to call, I've been through this before and they don't do it." I suggest going out for Chinese tonight so that I don't sulk around the phone all night.
So we do that, and our waiter there kinda develops a thing for me (called me beautiful. Hmmm . . . ). Asked where I go to school, etc. Then Mom asks how old he thought I was, and he said about 18. I'm all happy, until he says that if school hadn't come up he would have said fourteen or fifteen (groan). Oh well, it was a ego boost, and God knows I needed that.
We get back, and he called.
=)
Mom's interpretation of the message was that he sounded kinda embarrassed (good). The rundown: he really wanted to get over here this weekend, but got backed up at work (geez, what do they do? I thought he just sat around at the info desk all day. Guess I should ask that, huh?) and won't be going home this weekend. He said to call sometime Saturday or Sunday (and he'll call back. I hope), said if he can't see me in the next week or so then well, just wait until I'm at school.
It might be interesting for you to know that when I heard the message I went from sheer raging pissiness to a calm, "Well, that's all right then." No skipping round the house all hyper again, just calmness. What a switch, huh?
Okay, at least he called. Which does shut off my previous phone buttons, although my workaholic buttons are now going off (please let this be just a summer job, oh Lord). And my prediction here (somehow I don't think I need a psychic friend to tell me this) is that I will not be seeing him this week. Call it a hunch- if you can't come over on your days off, you're gonna drive an hour and a half each way when you don't have a day off? I don't think so. Sounds like consolation prizing to me. Oh well (sigh).
So, after that I thought, "Should I put yesterday's entry up? It sounds insane, and that's not how things worked out anyway. Sounds terrible, actually." But then I thought-- the only thing that prevented me putting that up last night was Dad- if he'd stayed up I would have put it on the page, and wouldn't have taken it down today just because the situation changed. Should I really self-edit myself after the fact, or is that being dishonest?
This journal is "My Soap-Operatic Life." It's the events or non-events in my life. To go back and edit them seems wrong and dishonest to what I want to do here. At the time I wrote that I really felt that stuff, and even if it reflects terribly on me (today especially!) after things change, it should go up. Even if y'all now think that I'm a maniac- then again, you probably already guessed that!
The lessons I learned from this experience:
Don't get too attached too easily, too fast.
Don't go incredibly insane.
Stop obsessing so damn much when nothing has even happened yet. (I felt all ridiculous yesterday thinking about how I went off about this guy so much and he didn't even have the decency to call me . . . okay, that turned out not to be true, but still)
Of course, will I remember this tomorrow? Probably not. 
(Posted 4/5- again, sorry this didn't get up earlier, Mom hogged the computer last night)
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