"When I can do no longer bear to think of the victims of broken homes, I begin to think of the victims of intact ones." -Peter De VriesGod, if I have to stay at home with Dad the Cranky any longer I swear I'll just shoot him and put him out of his misery. Bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch, scream scream scream scream scream, all the fucking time with them. I am soooo sick of the screaming, my God! Everyone else has left for school and I am very jealous of them. If I weren't going to Hawaii, I'd be homicidal now. Of course, they'll scream there too, but at least they'll be screaming in a tropical location.
Anyway, thought I'd follow up on the stuff left somewhat hanging from the last entry (yes, I was lazy and used the same background. So bite me.):
I was pleased to see in Luann that Luann has found someone new to lust over (like me). Serves Aaron Hill right, if you ask me.
I finally called Cathy, and when she got on the phone I started babbling apologies. She said, "Who is this, Jennifer or Jessica?" Anyway, it went okay for the three minutes or so we talked until she had to leave somewhere. Said she'll call back, but well, I'm not expecting anything. It would serve me right, y'know? Anyway, slight improvement.
Signed up to take the textiles class and the Holocaust class in school.
Have spent the last few days working on fashion design contest entries. Sent in one for design a prom dress for 1999 today (came out well), and today have been working on a T-shirt logos contest. Should be done soon.
My new dorm has something in it called RESNET, which works on an Ethernet card and has all kinds of funky things and gives you instant, non-phone-using access to the Internet. Sounds lovely, right?
Uhhh . . . I looked up the requirements for the thing today. I do not understand a syllable of the requirements or the instructions to hook it up (and I'm afraid to mention those things to the adults). What's REALLY stupid, IMO, is that they list the instructions and show the instruction video ON RESNET. Uh, you can't SEE how to hook it up until it's already BEEN hooked up. Hello? And there was this one frightening paragraph:
"It's quite easy and with the assistance of instructional videos (the one over the Internet on RESNET. That you CAN'T GET TO!), written instructions, and/or a fellow resident who has successfully completed their setup, it shouldn't take more than 15-30 minutes."So basically they're saying your only hope is to sucker someone else into doing it for you. My mother has already said, "Uh, Jen, you'd better get (Kiwini) to do that for you." Uh, he's working, when do I do that, I wonder? I'm wondering if I'll ever get access again.
Remember that Indian gambling commercial I was going on about a while back? Well, lately they've been airing a comeback commercial to that that is idiotic. Sure, they start out nice with the soccer-mom narrator going, "I want to help the Indians" (hmm, interesting tactic for an opposition commercial). But there's this ridiculous part where the mom gets out of the car with her strapping young white sons. She goes in the house and checks the opposition's site on the Web, then as they film her head by the window you clearly see her strapping young white sons throwing a soccer ball to each other, REALLY rubbing in the "soccer mom is trustworthy" thing. However . . . YOU DON'T THROW A SOCCER BALL, YOU MORONS!
While searching through papers, I found this really silly script that my mom gave me awhile back and that I was going to mention here. One of her coworkers is a total stage mom and one of her kids auditioned for this TV pilot. You wonder why TV stinks today? Check this out:
The show is called "Dream Angels", and sounds like a ripoff of Sailor Moon. They are looking to cast (specified in the press release):
* a dark eyed blonde with boundless energy, a personality and perpetually positive (oh, BARF) attitude.
* fiery, green-eyed redhead, short fuse, very passionate, self proclaimed leader of the pack (hello, cliche).
* any ethnicity, boisterous, hummingbird approach to life (huh?).
* any ethnicity, soft spoken, has innate sensitivity and intelligence. (Anyone wanna guess what type of ethnicities they're looking for?)
The casting notes in general say that "Acting experience a plus, but not necessary."
"The Dream Angels are four 18-20 year old girls Princesses of a distant dimension called Eden. They can transform themselves into super heroines with special powers and fly on their winged horses to the aid of children in need. They use their intelligence and natural physical prowess and special powers to thwart villians."
I had a weird yet fun idea last night- Bill and Monica Tarot Cards- talk about a collector's item! I know it's whacked, but think about it:
Card Normally pictured on card My version of it
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The Fool: A man on a rock in funny clothes, carrying a bag on a stick, with his dog.
Bill staring at Monica's ass as she goes down the hall, carrying that tie, with Buddy.
The Magician: A man with magical items (candle, cups, stars, sword).
Vernon Jordan with a telephone, saying "Hello, Revlon?"
The High Priestess: A woman on a throne holding a scroll, in elaborate religious gear.
Linda Tripp on a throne, holding her tape recorder.
The Empress: A queen on a throne, holding a stick of some sort.
Hillary on a throne, wearing a blindfold and holding a whip.
The Emperor: A king on a throne with a scepter.
Bill on a throne with a hard-on.
The Hierophant (High Priest): The Pope standing before monks, holding a crossish-looking scepter.
Trent Lott standing before a camera, waving a cross around.
The Lovers: A nude man and woman outdoors, with an angel behind them.
I think you know who, only in the Oval Office with the Presidential seal behind them.
The Chariot: A man in armor, surounded by lions.
Ken Starr, in business suit, surrounded by liars.
Strength: A woman petting a lion.
I really want to make a sexual crack here, but I'll save it for later . . . we'll make it Jesse Jackson praying with a liar.
The Hermit: A man in gray robes, holding a stick and a lantern.
Betty Currie accepting Monica's gifts from Bill.
Wheel of Fortune: A wheel hanging in the sky, surrounded by a dog, angel, bird, lion, bull- all winged.
Same, but replace the surrounding things with Bill, Hill, Monica, and Ken.
Justice: A man on a throne holding a sword.
The House of Representatives, busily reading you-know-what.
The Hanged Man: A man hanging by his foot from a tree.
Bill making "apology" #1.
Death: A black knight on a white horse.
All the gravestones of Bill's dead friends (have you seen that list? It's godawful!).
Temperance: An angel pouring water from a cup into another cup.
The card is blank- this card represents moderation and rationality, and nobody in this case has shown any amount of moderation or rationality.
The Devil: The Devil with the lovers, who now have devil horns and tails and are chained to his chair.
Just change the lovers' faces.
The Tower: A couple falling out of a tower that has been struck by lightning.
Bill and Monica falling out of the White House.
The Sun: A small child riding a horse in a garden.
Chelsea in the White House garden, minus the horse.
The Moon: Dogs barking at the moon.
Bill's "full moon" seen from behind as Monica performs her duties as "V.P in charge of B.J's" (here's the joke I saved from "Strength") as Buddy barks.
The Star: A woman at night waters the grass.
You-know-who.
Judgement: The angel blowing the horn and all the dead coming out of their graves.
The House of Representatives again, voting on impeachment.
The World: Same as Wheel of Fortune, only a naked woman is in the center instead of a wheel.
A TV set, with people surrounding it.
Links to other sites on the Web
Graphic Station (phone)
By Design (Clinton)
E-mail gr3ruth@pacbell.net if you have any better suggestions for "Presidential Tarot."
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