Run


My Soap-Operatic Life

"You think a guy's interested, next thing you know he's saying, "What are you talking about? Aren't we just friends?" -Keesha
1:00 p.m.: I did something today that probably made me look like a fool.

But first, I must mention this phone call I got from my mom last night, in which she kept enumerating all my faults and mistakes in behavior- I'm just not friendly enough. She was really upset that I didn't talk much to the guy who fixed the desk. And she got upset when I said that Kiwini (I was going to change this again, but forget it now, he's going out of the picture) hadn't come by the other night, therefore I expect it's a dump. She yelled at me for not being more forgiving "maybe he had to work, didn't get the message" blah blah. I did that with The Moron, and it didn't do me any good and I'm tired of it. I finally said, "Then when can I determine that I've been dumped, according to you?" She said "After you talk to him." I wanted to say "If he didn't want to talk to me I don't want to discuss that" but didn't. And she didn't like that I couldn't call him because I don't have his new #.

Anyway:

Walked to the DC today with a chick from the program and two of her friends. There's this huge window you walk by to go into the Segundo DC, and I could clearly see Jensen (the RA that looks like The Moron) in it. He looked over at me . . . and well, he looked like The Moron giving me this cute look he does. My God.

I'm ashamed to admit that I've been walking past this guy's door on the floor lately (not that I need to to get anywhere, it's deliberate). Stupid. Note to self: Avoid this guy as much as possible. We do not need to go there.

I can't find the girl I knew (or anyone else either) in this barn of a DC (I really hate the Segundo one, you cannot find ANYBODY on purpose), so I sit by myself on the other side of the room, away from Jensen. As I'm nibbling my pathetic food, I look over- and see Kiwini there (apparently he is still on the job. Chalk one up for Mom. I thought he was off now.) talking to the guys at the next table. He hasn't seen me yet, I think, but if he turns his head . . .

I ran. Got up, left the food (you're not supposed to), walked right out of there and went back here.

I didn't want to find out if it was a dump or if there was a mistake. Not that way- if there's a mistake, I'd rather he just come see me. But not there in front of everybody am I gonna do this. And if it's a dump, I didn't want to know what he'd say/do.

I am sooooooooooooooo gunshy. This was probably a really stupid thing to do (especially if I'm wrong and the guys he was talking to recognize me as the chick who just got up and left).

Cluck cluck cluck.

3:00 p.m.: Nothing much to add, really, but I gotta post something Demma wrote:

"What mind!?! excuse me???? I have a mind, it just depends on whether i CHOOSE to spend it oon mindless conversations or not. I enjoy being crazy, cause it makes to people wonder and thats the fun. What is she thinkin?? What is she going to do or say next???? I will be myself!!!!!!!"
Found this off the Web and loved it:

Induhviduals And Zippergate

Lately I have been subjected to many Induhvidual opinions about Zippergate. Rather than respond to them as they happen, which would require me to yell at my television set, thereby scaring all of my other appliances, I will address these curious viewpoints here.

Note: I have no strong opinion of what should happen to the President. I'm just amused by it all.

Induhvidual Opinion #1 -- It's about lies, not sex

Some Induhviduals say it's not the sex, it's the lying that's the real problem. But it's not a general kind of lying that's the problem, it's specifically the President's unwillingness to share details of his sex life with every human being in the world. By that standard, only Geraldo Rivera and Dennis Rodman could qualify to be President.

If lying is so damnable, let's say we decide to impeach every politician who lies to the American people. They'd be dropping like flies. I forget how the chain of command works, but I think that after the President and the Vice President, you have the Speaker of The House, and then members of the cabinet, and on from there. It would take about two months before a near-sighted postal clerk has the nuclear launch codes.

When the politicians who vote on impeachment tell us they will be non-political, asking us to believe they will ignore the fact that Al Gore could become president, do you think they are telling the truth? And if they aren't, shouldn't we impeach them too?

Induhvidual Opinion #2 -- How Can Clinton Govern Now?

I have this image in my head of Yasser Arafat visiting the White House. Clinton offers him a Presidential cigar and Arafat says, "If you don't mind, could I have one that is still in the original wrapper?" This ugly incident turns into a towel fight and triggers World War Three.

That's the best scenario I could come up with in which the President's ability to govern is affected by Zippergate.

I guess there's one other possibility. Suppose Congress passes some legislation and it comes to Clinton's desk for signature, but Hillary has broken both of his arms. That might slow him down. But he could still grip a pen in his teeth and sign the bill into law. And if Hillary punched out his teeth too, all you really needs is a bottle of dipping ink and a cute intern to improvise a solution. It wouldn't be the photo opportunity we're used to, but at this point, nothing seems too shocking.

Let's say the President is less able to push his agenda in Congress now, because no one wants to be his friend . I keep asking myself how my life will be different, compared to the dynamic leadership we expect from a second term minority party president. So far, I'm stumped.

Induhvidual Opinion #3 -- Any CEO would be fired

The pundits keep saying that any CEO who has an affair with an employee would be fired. But on my planet, Earth, CEOs routinely boff the staff, literally and figuratively, and I know of no example where any CEO ever got fired for anything except falling stock prices or accounting irregularities. Who started the rumor that CEOs get fired for bedding their underlings? Didn't Bill Gates marry one of his employees?

Induhvidual Opinion #4 -- You Can't Do That In The Military

Pundits point out that the President would be kicked out of the military for his behavior, if in fact he were in the military. We can extend this brilliant analysis to see how he would be treated by other organizations to which he does not belong.

For example, I also believe he would be kicked out of the Girl Scouts for his behavior. That sort of activity is very disruptive to the meetings. And I don't think you can participate in the Big Sister program with that on your record either. I also believe he would be fired as editor of Cigar Aficionado magazine if he worked there, which he doesn't.

Induhvidual Opinion #5 -- We can't help thinking about it

Some people say Clinton can't be effective because every time we look at him we'll be grossed out thinking of his sex life. Personally, I already have that problem with most politicians, not to mention many of my friends, and my entire extended family. In fact, the only politician I can imagine having sex, without wincing, is Al Gore, and that's only because I assume he does it fully clothed.

Induhvidual Opinion # 6 -- Not In The Oval Office!

Some people are incensed because the dirty deeds happened in the White House. This implies that some other location wouldn't have been so bad. So I'm wondering, where **is** the best place for the President to do that sort of thing? Would a State Park be okay, or is that still government land? How about the French Embassy? That's technically foreign soil, and they probably have a cot in the back for just that kind of situation.

Induhvidual Opinion #7 -- We Wasted 40 Million Dollars!

Sure, it was expensive, but I feel I got my money's worth. I figure my share was about eighty cents, and I've been entertained for months.
Compare that to the seven bucks I paid to see the Godzilla movie and I think you'll agree it's a bargain.

And consider the positive impact on the media. It was a slow news year. If the media had gone one more week without an interesting story, they would have had to kill another member of the British royal family just to fill airtime. No one wants that.

Induhvidual Opinion #7 -- It's Sexual Harassment

Some say that because Monica was a White House employee, and Clinton had power to influence her career, it is sexual harassment by definition.

I suppose it's possible that Monica thought she would get a cabinet job after her internship was over, or possibly become ambassador to Great Britain. And I suppose it's possible that Monica was afraid of being demoted from her lucrative intern job. So I guess that's the best point I've heard so far.

Scott Adams
Dilbert Newsletter 21.0
September 1998

10:15 p.m. A few minutes ago the RA's came by to introduce themselves. Jensen looked, well . . . quite luscious. And yes, LIKE THE MORON! I have to keep reminding myself of that, that this is an inappropriate lust. And he lives in the building, for crying out loud- I'd have to see him around when we broke up. He'd get mixed up with all my memories of The Moron. No, no, no, no, no.

Although I do think he was looking at me too in that way . . .

No, no, no, no, no. Bad girl!

I just saved this, then read my horoscope (by Rob Brezny, in case you care):

"Intentional vomiting was not uncommon in ancient Rome. Sensual rich folks used to thrust feathers down their gullets after a feast so as to make room for a whole new round of epicurean delights. And why am I telling you this? I'd like it to serve as a metaphor for the kind of thing you should watch out for. In the coming week, you'll be susceptible to the sin of seeking too much of a good thing, which would, of course, wreck the good thing. This is one time when the road of excess leads to the palace of idiocy."

Links to other sites on the Web

Animation Station (dog)

Today's poll: Was Jen smart, or a complete idiot? E-mail jdrutherford@ucdavis.edu.


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