if i was your girl . . .

My Soap-Operatic Life

"You're not going to act like a complete nitwit, are you?"
"Define complete." -Jane and Daria
"And here you were, perfectly capable of alienating people on personality alone." -Jane
"What could be giving you anxiety, sweetie?"
"Let's see, every aspect of my life?" -Jake and Daria (all from Daria)

When I was at aerobics class the teacher was playing "if" by Janet Jackson, and I just have that song stuck in my head now. The lyrics anyway:

sittin' over here
starin' in your face
with lust in my eyes
sure don't give a damn and 
ya don't know
that i've been dreamin' of ya in my fantasy
never once you looked at me
don't even realize that i'm wanting you

But, not happening, probably not going to (realistically).

Okay, the events that were going on tonight:

1. Medieval times lecture at seven p.m.
2. Social committee meeting at eight-thirty p.m.

I wrote something up about tonight, but it's factually fuzzy, so I'll give you the facts of the evening first:

The lecture was interesting- surprising stuff about the middle ages, a few things passed around, entertaining enough.

The meeting: I wore this new kilt I bought yesterday (specially for this). Don't know about Jensen, but Angela liked it. Everyone got along pretty good. Events discussed for the floor were camping, hiking, ski trip, hide and seek, capture the flag, food/TV events, homecoming games . . . long list. Sounds interesting. I think I'll have to stay in town more often. I sounded a bit like an idiot though- they were going on about selling stuff, and I go "I sold fifteen boxes of cookies." He kinda looked over at me like I was a moron. Which I kinda was- sounded funnier before I said it.

"Camping destroys a relationship even faster than a trip to Mexico. Sure, it sounds romantic, the two of you alone in the forest like Adam and Eve, but how good is sex going to be when there's fauna in your lingerie and your partner hasn't showered or shaved for days? Worse, the dynamic is such that a man struggles to prove that he's as macho as his forefathers, while a woman struggles to prove that she looks attractive without makeup." -Margo Kaufman

Jensen is apparently Mr. Outdoors Boy (god, the similarities to The Moron just keep multiplyin'), and thinks it's wimpy to go camping in places with things like toilets. My God. I know, he's a guy and doesn't get the bio of chick peepeeing, but still that is annoying. Anyway, there's another meeting next week.

Now, the other stuff, the vague stuff I wrote about will tell you the rest:

(not an appropriate pic, but as close to "horny" as I can find)

He was sitting behind me, I knew it. I could see in the reflection of the window the guy behind me, to mid-shoulders (due to the windowshade), just sweatshirt and jeans- I couldn't prove it, there were no psychic feelings to tell me, but I knew it was him. And I waited until somebody talked behind me so I could look around, and I was right, it was him.

So, I sat a little sideways so I could peek at him a little. I could see when he changed positions on the table he was sitting on, see him crack his knuckles (ick! just like my ex!), hear the clanking as he played with his watch near the end.

The next time I saw him was a half-hour later at Angela's. I walked in the door and he was on the floor mostly hidden by the coffee table, watching the boob tube. When he sat up I was able to discern his eye color for the first time- blue. I had wondered if maybe they were hazel or something different, but- blue. Like the ex. Beautiful face. Still ex-reminscent. I took every opportunity to gaze into his face during the activity chat. He stripped off the sweatshirt (mmmm) and one girl goes, "Is this a meeting or a strip show?" "Both. I have many talents." Mmm-hmmm.

All the activities he suggested were outdoorsy stuff- capture the flag, hide and seek, rafting, skiing, camping . . . if it was wild and woodsy, he loved it. Especially having no bathrooms in the woods, he seemed to feel strongly about that. Ick.

I felt like kind of an idiot, not liking that stuff much. I said a few stupid things, and I think he thought I was an idiot. Why am I attracted to these outdoor boys when I'm an indoor girl?

However, I'm betting that I'll be doing a lot of outdoorsy stuff this year. The things I do for lust.

Links to other sites on the Web

By Design (girl, flasher, e-mail)

I don't think I behaved as well as I did before, I can't say that I felt any response. Oh hell, I know nothing. E-mail below.

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