So, 4ish I get a phone call from Sarah.
"You doing anything tonight?"
"Hell no, PLEASE come over and get me out of here! It's so BORING!"
"Well, Mike called and invited us over- did you give him my number?"
"No."
She's all "So, you haven't kept in touch with them then?" and I start
to feel guilty about how I never call them. Or anyone at all.
Anyway, she mentiones Hardeep is coming over too. Everything is fine now. They're back in the apartment (I infer from the conversation), with two kittens and back at work. All of this is a COMPLETE surprise to me (as I haven't heard from her since the last time I saw her. I e-mailed her and got no response, didn't know exactly where to call her), and I'm immediately kinda frightened, but really, what do you say to her? I said that was good they were back together. I did remember her saying that he was going to get counseling, and I figure that he's been doing that and getting better. She's got a fat-ass scholarship, they're getting an apartment in Russell Park (yay!) in the winter, I'm all happy for her. I'm happy for me, being able to get out for once!
I'm trying to readjust to the mental image I was putting up in my head- first I tried to adapt Hardeep, the nice guy I've hung out with so many times (gee, another nice one going to hell, what a theme) to Hardeep-Psycho-Abuser, and now I have to adapt back! What a switch. But thinking that he's getting counseling helps.
They come to get me around six, I show them around Castilian, take them up to my room, and then we go down to the lounge and play a few games of pool.
He's perfectly normal, just like before. So is she. Kissy-poo, nicknames, intensive use of the word "honey", etc. The only thing I really notice about his behavior is that he does slip the word "wife" into the conversation a bit more, like I made some joke about balls (hey, we were playing pool) and he said some other joke, ending it with "Hey, she's my wife, I can say that to her." But it's all okay . . . we're making jokes, etc., I tell them about the bet and they're trying to think up dorks they can fix me up with, I am rather annoyed by this, but basically the usual. I wanna keep playing pool, but Hardeep is anxious to go, so we quit the game.
We go back to my room to look for coupons (we're going out to eat) and call Mike and the boys, and as we're going back down out the front, I see that Jensen is now manning the front desk! I have to get his attention to wave at him before he waves at me. This irritates me a bit. Sarah recognizes him (I pointed him out to her back when I saw her in September), and as we're going out the door she goes, "That's the RA, right?" I go, "Yep, wouldn't you know he goes on desk duty (the first time I've ever seen him do that) right as we're leaving. Why couldn't he have been out there while we were playing???" I whine about that for a bit, fill them in on how I thought he was checking me out, they're all when are you going to hit on him, I'm all "whenever I get to be AROUND him!" I'm immature enough to blow kisses at him as we drive away.
So we go to Subway, use our little coupon, eat, the usual jokes about how I'm a slow eater and then leave 2/3 of it on the plate (Hardeep's gripe, brings up the starving children it could feed, etc. When they were done he gripes that I'm still eating and I say, "Do you want me to leave it all there?" "No, keep eating." Score one for me, I think. Sarah tells me funny stories about their two new kittens (which, after she sees my Star Wars poster, decides to name then Luke and Leia).
After that I convince them to help me chase after Jensen and go back to the dorm and play some more pool. They're nice enough to do so, and he is still there when we come back (yay!). However, the pool table is still being used. So Hardeep challenges the guys playing ping pong to a game, and Sarah and I play cheerleader/watch while I secretly scope Jensen out (Hardeep was all, "Why don't you watch over there?" giving me a better view). I can't testify for sure if he was checking me out or not, or if he knew why I was there (they said they wouldn't tell, but they whispered kinda loudly at times), I can only say "maybe." However, two girls came up and talked to him for most of the time we were there, and I get all annoyed about it. Sarah and I notice when he's changing the channel on the TV (Voyager, Celebrity Deathmatch were the top choices), comment on those shows. We do notice how he lets people inside the building that are at the door, and all agree that's a nice thing to do for people, most desk people don't do that.
After that we leave, I go off on how this is the worst lust I ever had, etc. for a bit, and as we're going over to the guys' place, somehow the conversation gets to Mike being a horndog. I know Hardeep doesn't like Mike because he's so on the make (known that for a while, even before wedding), Sarah mentioned to me before how he thinks Mike will come on to her (and won't see how Sarah is so not going to let that happen). He's griping about how Mike comes on to everyone, I try to point out that this is stupid, Sarah sure doesn't want to, but he isn't real reasonable about it.
Anyway: we get to their house, come in, and Hardeep and I play Nintendo for a while. Sarah watches/laughs at me bungling it, Evan and Mike wander in and out, they don't really hang around a whole lot. I'm thinking, "Dang, the boys never do anything on weekend nights either." Anyway, the little lovebirds start to get tired (I'm thinking "you guys used to be up all night and now you want to go to bed at nine? Dang, sucks to be grown up.") and want to leave. (What Evan refers to later as "kinda abruptly." He says he thought everything was okay too.) Mike says to wait a minute, he wants to prank call his old room and ask for himself, then he wants all of us to call the # and ask for him. However, on the second call he gets an answering machine and it ruins his fun. He then gives his credit card to Hardeep to do this little trick- demonstrate how Evan knows Mike's credit card number by heart (for some reason). We're all making jokes about this, how we could call and charge all this stuff to him, etc. Anyway, at one point Hardeep kinda runs away with the card and Mike's trying to get it back. I didn't really hear it clearly, but Evan told me later that Mike said to him, "Give me the card back or I'm going to feel up your wife." Oh no. But it all ends somewhat okay, we think. Nobody comes to blows (although I hear later that he would have hit Mike- hell, even I would have hit him for that one) if Sarah hadn't been holding his hand), Hardeep seems calm, we leave and get into the car, Sarah mumbles about how tired she is.
Then Hardeep starts driving like he's in the Indy 500, swerving around the corners at breakneck speed. I start screaming in the back, but he doesn't notice it. I think that he's just driving crappy (lord knows I'm used to my friends doing THAT and speeding), until the fight starts in front of me before I know it.
The rundown: Apparently before coming over there tonight, they made a deal that Sarah was supposed to tell Mike at the end of the night to never call her again. Sarah says she couldn't be mean to his face like that, says that if he calls her again (which she says is rare that he calls her at all) she'll tell him not to. He does not accept this at all. She says she didn't want to be a bitch. He does not accept that. He mutters that he was mad about something but kept cool because he knew at the end of the night that she was going to tell him not to call her. He's upset that Mike has her number (and to repeat: he didn't get it from me. He called her mom and got it from her, I find out later). They start getting into it, he wants her out of the car, never wants to see her face again. He tells me that he'll drive me back to the dorms, but frankly, I don't want to be in a car with him driving like that, even though I don't think he'll deliberately hurt me. And I'm not leaving Sarah alone. They get into an altercation about her wedding ring- he wants it back, she doesn't want him to have it. I'm still not sure what happened to it.
So I get out with her and we start walking. I think that we're going to go back to the guys's place, but we don't (and that might not have been such a good idea anyway), we start walking down the street as she mutters about how we're deserted in Davis. I ask about if he was getting counseling and she mutters "he's supposed to." Stuff like "I hope he doesn't hurt the kittens." Oh no.
He comes back a few minutes later offering to take us to the dorms and then he never wants to see her face again. We get in. I REALLY make sure I buckle up. He drives slightly less worse. They fight all the way over. He gripes about it being Mike that called her, that her mother gave him the number (it would have been okay if I had given her the number, but not her mother for some reason I sure don't understand.) said that if it had been any of her other friends (Evan or me or anyone) he would be fine with it, but he "hates Mike with a passion." Earlier in the car (as we left the dorm one of those times) Sarah was saying how she'd kill any girl who came on to Hardeep and castrate him, and he apparently wants tit for tat. Just irrational as hell. She fights back. He gripes (this comes up again later) that he gave up all his friends for her, she says his friends were druggies. I try to help out in it once but get basically ignored and just stay back there hoping we survive the drive.
Pull up in front of the dorm. I get out. Hardeep asks if she's staying with him or going with me. She goes with me (thank God). We head back inside, I see him about to turn the car around in our direction and tell her to get inside fast so we're locked in. He drives by, yelling something out the window, but neither of us understands that. We go back in, Jensen's still at the desk, but I'm really not in a mood to enjoy that. We're both kinda shellshocked, me muttering "Oh my god" a lot, her muttering about how whenever they go to counseling they'll be fighting outside the door and once they get in he turns on the charm, acts like everything is fine, and says it's all her fault. We get back to my room and sit on the couch. She mutters about how she's stranded in Davis without a car, I say she can stay for as long as she wants, she kinda mutters something about in the same clothes. I was going to bring up calling her mom and going to her house or something like that, but I never get to, because Hardeep comes to the door (Jensen let him in, I find out) and wants me to send her out, he wants to talk to his "goddamn wife."
She goes out. I leave the door partly open and listen to it. They're fighting over the car. He at first tells her to take it so she won't blame him for her being late to work. Then he says he'll take her back, she wants to drive and he says no, he'll drive but he'll drive nice, or better, or something like that. She somehow gets him, I don't know how, to give her the keys and she'll drive. She goes in to get her backpack on the couch. As she goes in I say to her "Call me" meaning call me when/if you can to tell me she's all right. She kinda nods at me, and that's the last time I spoke to her.
She goes in to get her backpack, and as her back's turned, Hardeep just RUNS back in (I go for the door to lock it, but move way too slow) and GRABS her around the middle, I can't tell well because my view is of his back, but he looks as if he's about to throw her across the room or something. We'd just been JOKING about that commercial for Hollywood Video in which the guy gets thrown out the window. She gets away and runs down the hall crying with the keys, he goes after her, I go after him.
I'm thinking that I can't make it down to the front desk to reach Jensen in time, and thank God. Two guys, one from 312 and one from farther down the hall, come out of their rooms and help me. They go up to Hardeep and ask if everything's okay, politely ask him to use the stairwell and leave, he goes off on how he needs the car keys to get back home. I say that we could call a cab, but he doesn't notice this or whatever. Sarah has disappeared, I can't see where, but judging by the crying noises she's hidden in the stairwell across the hall. One of the guys (we'll call him Guy #2) goes after her, says he'll get the car keys back. Guy #1 and I keep Hardeep talking, as he babbles about how she's a slut and a whore. At this point I'm hoping that he gets the carkeys back and gives them to Hardeep so he'll get the fuck out of here (he was swearing up a storm, he who was getting on MY case about swearing and didn't swear at all, deliberately, all night previous to this) and leave Sarah alone, I can take care of Sarah but don't know what the hell to do with Hardeep. #2 doesn't come back for awhile, and when he comes back, he's walking REAL slow and calmly, hands in pockets, and I know looking at him that he doesn't have the car keys. Hardeep keeps asking him, "Do you have the keys?" over and over, and #2 doesn't answer him. When he's closer, he says that he thinks Hardeep should stay away from her. Hardeep just cusses again, and this time I say I'll go down and talk to her, he yells at me to get the keys, I mutter back that I'm not promising anything.
I creep down the stairwell looking for Sarah, but she's not there, not anywhere, and she's not on the ground floor. I think she's hiding or something and go back upstairs saying I couldn't find her. Hardeep starts to leave, telling me to tell her . . . various things, still muttering slut and whore, that he gave up all of his friends for that bitch, ending in the words "divorce papers." I'm thinking, "Thank God, DO IT! GET THE DIVORCE PAPERS! RIGHT NOW!" He asks me where to go out, I point him down the long way, and watch him walk down the hall most of the way. Fearing he won't leave, I guess. Guy #2 has left after I came back, Guy #1 tells me he was just trying to help or something like that, I really thank him.
After he leaves and I can't see Hardeep anymore, I go down the stairs by my place (hoping to avoid him) and go down to the front desk. I tell Jensen to not let Hardeep in if he comes by again, because . . . well, I spill the story, watch his eyes widen. Guy #2 comes by with a bunch of girls as I'm talking, and I talk to him- he tells me that he told Sarah to take the keys and get out of there, he'd stall Hardeep (which explains where she went), I look for the car and it's not there. Go back in and finish talking to Jensen and Heather (another RA) comes in and he has me talk to her- she thinks I should call the police and gives me the #, says I can talk to any of the RA's later if I need to or call the House (counseling people), Jensen says to come by and talk to him if I need to later. Even as I'm completely distraught (everyone all night kept asking me if I was okay, I answered with stuff like "at least he didn't hit me."), the evil little lust monster within me that will not die likes the idea of having an excuse to go talk to him, and plans to do so later. I even think "crisis brings people together!" Then I'm disgusted with myself for thinking of my lust at a time like this!
So I go back upstairs and call the police, babbling out things, giving my #, address, description of Hardeep- she sends the cops out to look for him, and I'm thankful that for once I paid attention to the make of a person's car (they mentioned that they had a new Selica). She says they may send a cop over looking for me, I say that I may be on the phone or at the front desk or talking to an RA, and give her Jensen's number (which I know by heart. Gag, but helpful in this situation).
Then I call her parents and get the machine, I'm babbling to it when her dad picks up. I spill the story, then he asks me to call her mom at another number (she's babysitting her grandchild overnight). I agree to do so, and when I pick up the phone again I hear my voice mail beeping. The message is that the cops are downstairs looking for me, and that she'll try the RA next. I run out and find Jensen and the cops coming for me. I bring the cops in and tell them the story, complete with pointing out locations and pantomime abuse, plus descriptions (thank God for once I paid attention to what people were wearing to be able to recall it) and names of Hardeep and Sarah, my information, they say they'll be looking for him, give me a card to call, etc. After that I call Sarah's mom and tell her this. She mentions that she moved back in recently, and that she thinks they need to spend some time apart, this is a complicated relationship they need to step back from, keep their previous friends, etc. She says she'll call Sarah's, I tell her to call me at any time to let me know if she hears from her. At the end she hears a beep on the other line- maybe it's Sarah! We hope, I get off.
After that, I call the boys to let them know crazy Hardeep may be swinging by later- get the answering machine and leave an abbreviated short message (basically that Hardeep got physical, watch out, and Mike, DON'T CALL HER.). After that I think that I should stay by the phone and wait for people to call, but I just can't stay there (never like to wait for calls even when circumstances aren't dire), and go down to the front desk again, looking like a whimpering puppy, I'm sure.
Jensen is great about this, he's sitting on the counter for some reason (it was like waiting for me to come, I thought), he and I go into the lounge and sit on a couch, and he listens (his eyes are this very pale white-blue-green) as I babble this whole thing out, more details than I told the cops or Sarah's parents or anyone, mostly what's here, and it was really sweet of him to listen (okay, that's his JOB, I know). Stuff about how I thought he was okay, he never acted like this pre-marriage, you saw us down here tonight, we looked normal, right? (Yeah, he knew we were down there. And he didn't see Hardeep leave out the front. Wonder where he went?)
No, I didn't get all enticing or lustful or any of my normal crap would be to take advantage of the situation. While that evil part of me knew how well this could go, most of me really wasn't up to thinking about that. Around the end of my blabber Ann (another RA) comes by and he has to talk to her, mentions that he was supposed to be watching the desk for (the original guy, I guess) an hour and it's been four and he hasn't come back. Ann says that guy's an a-hole, introduces him to her best friend (she's brought along), he says hi and that he has to get back to (gestures to me).
I watch this and wait for him to return, he does, says he has to go on rounds in a few minutes (dammit) but will walk me back to my room (hey, fine with me). As we get up to third, there's a huge bunch of people smoking by the stairs, and he tells them they can't do it there, and that's when I first feel a bit embarrassed to be walking with the RA, like I'm one of the dorm cops (kinda ironic thought after tonight, the cops), reminds me of bitching earlier tonight about how I like to go against authority a little, wouldn't want him busting me if I brought some booze up here. Anyway, I did like walking along with him, dang he is tall. He offers to knock on my neighbor's door and ask them to watch out for Hardeep, I say okay, he does that, walks me to my door, mentions something that sounded like he'd be back while doing rounds (I'm vague on this, wanted to stop him and say, "You're gonna come back here? When, please?"), he waves goodbye. God, he looks cute, I think.
He (or maybe it was Heather, I don't recall) suggested calling her mom back and seeing if she heard anything, and that's what I do when I get back. She hasn't, but I do get Sarah's apartment phone number (finally). As I'm talking to her, I see Jensen and Heather walking by my window (like I've mentioned, you can't just cruise by my room without reason), they go to my door and knock a few times, I yell "In a minute!" a couple of times, get off the phone. They're just checking on me (I guess this is the "I'll come back" part), Heather tells me to call The House, it's 24 hours, or my mom if I need to, something like that, Jensen says something too but I don't remember what, she leaves, he waves goodbye, I still think he's cute.
I can't think of what to do. I still don't want to wait by the phone. I write notes to my absentee suitemates telling them to watch out/lock up (we never lock the front door- there's nothing to steal) for a few days and tape them to their doors (thank God none of them were here tonight).
I decide to type this thing up and am doing so when Evan calls me. Mike went to bed (damn, he's the one I wanted to hear this), so I fill him in on the thing. He thinks I did the right thing calling the cops. Oddly enough, he sounds like he's laughing about this! This really gets on my nerves, I want to go, "Hey, this is serious", even though this is probably my imagination or a trick of the phone or something because I don't think he'd laugh at this normally, and being someone who laughs in stressful situations at times myself for no good reason that I can understand, I should at least understand that it happens. But it bugs me nevertheless. Anyway, he says that he thought everything was fine, tells me the feel-up comment, etc., what I mentioned already. I don't remember what else I said, mostly how annoyed I was at the laughter, and that he said that she's come over there crying some time ago (he first said a week ago, then 3-4 weeks ago) about some fight of their's, and I get annoyed that she came to them and not me. But I don't say any of that, naturally.
I hang up and keep typing this. Around 1, I get a call from Sarah! She's okay. She knew about the cops being called (I'm worried that he might come after me for calling them, but she doesn't think he will) because she was driving around and saw the cop cars (she even commented that the cop cars were cool! Dang, the strange things we can still think about even in the midst of awfulness) around him- they picked him up on a street corner and searched him for weapons. Didn't arrest him, but said they never forget a face and would arrest him in a second if he touched her again. She picked him up and they drove home, where they exchanged keys (he got the Selica, she got the apartment) and he left for who-knows-where. I said to her that I liked him and all, but he's really scaring me now, and no matter how good she's getting along with him later on to not live with him for a while, and that he shouldn't make her give up her friends. Interesting how we were discussing Friends in the car earlier (the last one) and how she thought Emily was getting kinda drastic, but kinda understood how she'd suspect things and worry when the groom said someone else's name/was hanging around her while she was 1200 miles away- oh, this is when she said that she'd kill any chick who went after Hardeep, I remember that now, while we went to Mike's. She even brought the Friends bit INTO the argument back to the dorms! About how she'd think it was justified if Hardeep were 1200 miles away, etc. But he didn't pay attention to it. I think she took what I said seriously (we can always hope), call me if there's anything, etc.
I also get to hear a couple MORE scary stories (and you thought things couldn't get ickier) when I asked about the friends thing. She said she just made him give up the drug dealers (I said she was justified there), one that tried to rape her (!!!!) while she was drunk and Hardeep was asleep (well, Hardeep didn't want to hang with that one after that anyway!), and the other one was his best friend (who I've met, Ashok- played Nintendo w/him when he came over) who got him smoking again after Sarah made him quit. He felt sooooo guilty after being caught that he tried to commit suicide- took a bunch of pills and had to go to the emergency room- and Sarah then slashed Ashok's tires. Geez.
She asked if I talked to the RA and I said, "Oh yeah.", but didn't elaborate on that like I wanted to. Just toooo tacky to take such a horrible thing happening to her and turn it into a bright side for yours truly. She okayed me to call the boys and tell them she was okay, which I then did and got a sleepy Mike on the phone (I think Evan had been briefing him), told him she was okay, the thing with the cops, etc. What annoyed me was that he said, "Yeah, I'll call her tomorrow." and I thought, "Isn't that what lead to all this trouble tonight?" But oh well, at least Hardeep won't be around to hear it.
Kayda just came in and I told her to watch out, I don't think anything is going to happen/no retribution for cop-calling, but lock up anyway, thankyouverymuch- I was embarrassed to admit that I had psycho friends (well, can't exactly call him a friend now, can I?) like this to her, but figured she needed to know.
And it's now 2:08 a.m., and I'm done writing for now. I'm not going to bed though, unlike about everyone else in this scenario- I'm way too wired. I better call my mom tomorrow (although I sure as hell dread THAT- you know and I know she'll be flipping out/telling me to never see Sarah again, but I don't want to do that), and I think I'll stop by Jensen's (ooh, goodie, an excuse to go over and see him! the evil lustful part says) to tell him it's all okay now. The evil lustful part of me suggested that I burst into tears or something so I could get him to hold me- and while that's quite a bit manipulative, right now it sounds very good to me, as I might cry anyway.
© 1997 jdrutherford@ucdavis.edu
Get your own Free Home Page