"Successful people have the illusion of being in charge of their lives; the truth is that life is always out of control." -Garrison KeillorI am soooo tired right now, I've been going through this insomniac phase in which I haven't fallen asleep before 4 am (why? why?) in the past few days. But I've GOT to tell about my day. It was amazing. Complicated, crammed with stuff, but amazing.
At 8:20 a.m., the phone rings. I stumble out of bed, growling "Who the fuck would call me at this hour?"
It's Sarah, she wants to come in. I stumble out the door.
The situation: She faked sick so she could come to school today to work on her financial aid (they sent her a postcard saying she had to come in NOW), and decided to come over while psycho hubby (her words! Used frequently in conversation!) is at work and can't kill her (again, her words) for it. If he's there it's okay, but he thinks that I'm gonna call up Mike and invite him over so we can all have orgies- oh, COME ON! I don't want Mike over here anyway, he'll just frighten the roommates. She wanted to call at SIX (and a good thing she didn't). We talked for hours on stuff, and she called the boys a bunch of times until they answered their phone, told them a bunch of stuff. Wouldn't give him her new number (well, you know why), said this would probably be her last phone call for awhile. I eventually had to go to class, so I did that (boring!), she went to financial aid (people there are idiots!), then afterward we met up and had lunch at school before my second class/date.
I found out so much stuff about this today I doubt I can remember it all. I will try.
She's now moved to Davis. A couple blocks down from me. They got an apartment that allowed pets and had to move in ASAP to get it. She now seems to agree with the rest of us- as in using the terms psycho husband in conversation. He doesn't have any weapons YET, but really wants to get a gun/ baseball bat/something violent "in case anyone breaks in." Yeah, RIGHT! You know and I know who he really wants to use those on. Naturally Sarah does not agree with this, says one of them might try to kill the other (I noticed she made it sound MUTUAL, not just he'll bash my head in). Right now things are 50/50: fifty percent this is insane I have to get out of here, fifty percent oh he's so sweet what would I ever do without him. He is flipping out over every little thing. He flipped out over Ally McBeal for an hour because Georgia ALMOST kissed another guy "and she's MARRIED!" Sarah spent a lot of time explaining that the show was saying that's a BAD idea. She went into his GROSS lack of personal hygeine until I started gagging (I will not repeat any of that. You don't wanna know). He's drinking a lot, wants her to drink and she doesn't. She now doesn't know what to do. She kinda wants to leave, but keeps saying that she'll lose her financial aid (due to marriage) if she gets divorced, it'll make him so sad, she'll feel like a failure, what about the cats (I said, "Uh, was that the best situation for getting a pet?" She said "Well, he really wanted them."), etc. I said don't stay in it for that, people WILL help you, that stuff can be worked out. And maybe she can trust Mike with the cats- if he doesn't decide to do awful experiments to 'em. That boy is becoming so horny it is PATHETIC and scary now. He's practically stalking Michelle (hanging around her apartment) now, I hear. Why are all men nuts? Oh yeah, and he and Hardeep got into a nasty screaming match ("You wanna piece of me?" thrown around often) on the phone.
She's now in this whole I want to be in college, I want to date a bunch of guys and go partying, I'm bored of my job, I'm bored of being married thing. Some stuff from the past I found out today: they got married (she didn't want to originally, but he did- apparently when you fall in love in India it's FOREVER) two days after he announced there had been a call from India and they might be deported, and then he couldn't return to the US for two years. Now she suspects this might be a big lie, as she's caught him in a bunch of 'em (most recent: he wasn't a virgin like he's claimed. She's all, "Admitting it now is just creepy.") and has yet to hear from INS! She was recounting every time she caught him smoking and saying that she should have dumped him then, that she was lonely and he was the first guy who'd liked her back in Davis, that she hooked up with a loser. All the times she was frightened, like when she moved out in Sept. (for a month, went back on the condition that he do therapy, which he quit after two weeks)- he'd wanted to get laid at 5:30 am, she was tired, he got all offended that she didn't want to and it was over, he smashed all this stuff, bashed in walls, BROKE DOWN LOCKED DOORS TWICE (I am so glad I didn't lock my front door now, it wouldn't have done any good), she was screaming for help and no one did anything, she had to call 911. He held a knife to her throat one time. She sometimes thinks that it won't happen again because he hasn't done it for awhile, but knows that he might again (good that she KNOWS this).
I got her new address (although she wondered if she should, if Hardeep would kill her for that), and I suggested getting her work # so he wouldn't be around to listen in- she agreed. I also gave her the phone numbers I got from Karla (my self-defense teacher), she said she'd call when she got home. I said I'd call her at work on my break tomorrow to see how it went. (More on that later)
Why do I feel as if I'm blushing? Okay, so it's too hot in my room, but emotionally I feel a little blushy recounting this. It's been so long since I've had a GOOD date (about a year now), or any (months), it seems weird to retell. Okay, I'll try to continue (after all, this is a soap- reminds me of Sarah telling me about her life being full of drama and going for the wrong men. I said me too, but less worse.).
The details you're probably wondering about:
* Did Jennifer find another sleazeball?
* What's up with all the girlfriends?
* Do you like him?
* Are you going to see him again?
* Any lip lock involved?
Again, I think I'm blushing, but I will try to answer those.
Yeah, he admits to being sleazy (I forget exactly what he said, but it was hilarious- I'm a sleazy bastard? Something along those lines? I'm sorry I forgot the line.), but well, didn't seem too sleazy. The two girlfriends are both into polyamory and well, that doesn't seem to be a problem. He was surprised I even knew what it was (well, I look in weird places on the Internet sometimes). I don't think he's real attached to either of 'em, figured he'd get sick of the whole thing/want something else and do some eventual dumping. Also mentioned some therapist in Chicago he liked but she had a boyfriend- that was the catch. I suggested that his girlfriends were catches #2 and 3 (I'm proud of that line, I think) to that.
Do I like him? Yeah. In that way? I dunno. Is there a point to doing so? I was having fun, we'll just leave it at that, okay?
Am I going to see him again? Again, I dunno. Like I said, he's going out of town tomorrow. This actually did get mentioned- see you whenever- I'm in town till the 18th, he's not back until 21st, so well, maybe January? That's about how it went.
And no, no liplock. The one thing about this that came up was when we were discussing what to put on the newsgroup (his whole spy thing) and at the end he mentions that at the end he's got to put in one kiss. There's a little pause there, and the thought that went through my mind was this:
"I do not need to start auditioning for the role of girlfriend #3."
So I kept cool. Good for me.
Would I see him again? Sure. Do I think that will happen? Who knows? Lotta stuff could change by January.
It was fun though.
Back again? Okay:
Yesterday while Dan was driving me home from the seele meeting, he mentioned that he wanted to get Fred (sometimes infuriating Aggie columnist) to come to the next poetry reading, maybe do some stuff. I was amazed that he knew the guy, and yet, rather embarrassed, since the one time I'd had any contact with the guy was that I'd been going off on how awful he was and got caught at it. (To his credit, he was rather polite about the whole thing.)
Anyway: I go to the end of the poetry reading tonight, remembering somewhere along my way that "oh yeah, that guy might be there." So by the time I get in and check out the crowd, I'm wondering which one of the guys he is. Since there's maybe three guys there (one of whom is Dan), only one of 'em could possibly pass for the guy in the picture. However, if it WAS him, I gotta say that the pics really washed him out. No WONDER I got the wrong guy. Looks nothing like the English cutie! Very odd (then again, I've got photos of myself with green eyes, red hair, and green hair. Go figure those ones out.).
Anyway, I get all paranoid immediately that he'll (gasp!) figure out who I am, hide my backpack (has my initials on it) so he wouldn't see 'em, think he's staring at me (possible, but I was afraid to check much), just act idiotic about the whole thing.
Then we did this improv poetry thing (everyone added lines to it), Jenny (seele editor) wrote it down, then said she'd send it to us all if we wrote down our full names and e-mails. Oh SHIT. He'll recognize my name! Oh damn!
Then I get the bright idea to put down my spotfans e-mail address (jennifer@spotfans.com) instead, and then he won't know it was me! I just left my last name off, pretending to forget to. So I do that, and the list in her book gets passed around, and it gets to him . . . and he doesn't pass it around (the girl next to him was reading), has it sitting in his lap for a long time, and he's looking at the e-mail addresses . . . and this is when I realize that he saw the spotfans site too, and could recognize THAT site address! DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I almost had to ride back home with the guy too (Jenny was offering rides), but fortunately a girl I met last year lives in North Castilian and I hitched with her. Okay, so I don't KNOW if it was that guy or not (and am not sure if I want to e-mail Dan and ask), and it probably wasn't, and I'm all paranoid, but still, I am rather frightened. Of what, you ask? Not only being an idiot and being caught at it, but he didn't have to meet the idiot in person!
Yes, my life is soooooo screwy.
The first person to e-mail the columnist personally and ask if he was there last night DIES. I'm not kidding. Okay, so I can't physically kill you, but I will send you a shitload of chain letters and spam. So don't you dare.
© 1997 jdrutherford@ucdavis.edu
Get your own Free Home Page