Ambiguous Me

You're It

Sending out my heart
Playing tag across the wires
Guess this means you're it -Isolde

"I think everyone's an asshole, so there." -Jeff Hemenway

... when will the madness end?
"I've been asking myself that one for years. And I think the answer is "Never." -Me

Well, the activities for 3rd South are back on, with an ice cream party 10 ish on Wed, a "Friends" viewing party on Thurs @ Angela's. Am I going to go? Well, despite my liking of ice cream and Friends, I don't think so. I don't even think anyone will show up for that stuff. And of course, I don't wanna run into Jensen the asshole. You knew that.

Latest e-mail from Matt:

Something about that guy hits me a bit funny... I just don't get him sometimes (which is obvious after that last conversation he and I had where I couldn't make sense of anything he was saying!)...

Oh brother. Then again, I don't feel as if I get ANYBODY these days (even when they're sober), nobody is acting as I would have expected. Heck, I just got along with one of my roommates for a change, go figure that one out. Maybe he was drunk on your conversation too? (snicker) I gave it one more shot w/ the e-mail but if he pulls that crap again forget it.

I don't know WHAT was going through his mind when I was trying to talk to him on irc, but he was far from coherent... I'd ask a straightforward question and he'd side-step it with some risque snide remark... I thought he was really cool at first, too...

Also, and I'm going to go off here so yell at me if you disagree, but I think the whole "Hey man, let's be cool and go get drunk" thing is SO lame... I hated it in high school when everyone thought they were cool going out and getting smashed on the weekends, and it seems people still do that to this day... I'm NOT talking about going out and getting drinks with friends or even stuff like my friends mixing drinks over at my place once in a while and having a good time -- that's totally different -- I'm talking about using alcohol (or pot or other drugs) to look cool... Kind of like smoking, too... Pathetic in my opinion!... And then to act stupid while "intoxicated" (which is almost always just an excuse for people to act fake and stupid. Most "drunk" people KNOW what they're doing) and be like "Oh, heh, hey man, I deleted your mail" or "Yeah I acted stupid and slept with that girl only because I was drunk, man" is even more pathetic! Wow, I'm really going off here! 8)

SO true. After a few drinking parties at my place some of my roommates got pathetic- one decided to go sleep with a guy upstairs she had a crush on and was firmly escorted back to our place, another one threw beer bottles and everything else she could reach. With some people I think drinking's an excuse to act moronic, and frankly, I can act just as stupid while sober.

(In response to my other comments on what to say when a fixup is attempted)
"Oh c'mon Jennifer. You're being too harsh and picky here! There's nothing wrong with that boy! Maybe if you weren't so damn picky, you'd actually have a boyfriend! Now be a good girl and give him a chance. C'mon"...

Or my personal favorite- "You can't afford to be picky."
Yeah, that's a real ego boost, and then they wonder why I have mental problems . . .

3:30 p.m. update: God, I'm so nervous! He was on the newsgroup, I'm waiting for the e-mail to download, I was thinking before that I didn't care what he said now, but my stomach seems to be disagreeing with that. Okay, I'll check it now . . .

Oh, bloody hell.

He didn't get it.

Now what the hell do I write?

That makes a haiku:

"Oh, bloody hell
He didn't get it
Now what do I write?

On Mon, 30 Nov 1998, Jennifer Rutherford wrote: 
} > Hmm.  There's a whole lot of (probably unjustified) assumption about
} > exactly how attractive Jennifer finds me implicit in that.  I'm not at all
} > sure that's what she'd choose.
} It's called "being mysterious", I guess.

No wonder I couldn't remember what the answer was.  There wasn't one. :)

} In other words: don't be so sure . . . ;)

Ah, I'm not so sure.  I'm not at all sure.  But that still doesn't answer
the question:  What sort of prize do you want?  

} "We are now entering hell. Please keep your hands and 
} elbows inside the car." -Daria Morgendorffer

But if I do that, how am I going to catch Hell?

Hmmm . . . should I ask for another date as what I win? Is that what he means? Oh what the hell.

>On Mon, 30 Nov 1998, Jennifer Rutherford wrote: 
>} > Hmm.  There's a whole lot of (probably unjustified) assumption about
>} > exactly how attractive Jennifer finds me implicit in that.  I'm not at all
>} > sure that's what she'd choose.
>} It's called "being mysterious", I guess.
>
>No wonder I couldn't remember what the answer was.  There wasn't one. :)

I had a raging headache at the time, I got incoherent. I shudder to think what 
else I must have written on the newsgroup, I think I was getting kinda funky 
there.
>
>} In other words: don't be so sure . . . ;)
>
>Ah, I'm not so sure.  I'm not at all sure. 

That's the point, to be as confusing as hell. It's in the girl handbook.

 But that still doesn't answer
>the question:  What sort of prize do you want?  

Okay, how about another date then? That less confusing?

>} "We are now entering hell. Please keep your hands and 
>} elbows inside the car." -Daria Morgendorffer
>
>But if I do that, how am I going to catch Hell?
>
Well, the way I do it is by pissing my parents off . . . or you could always 
catch a passing handbasket.
Jennifer

5:19: Or maybe I'll just check it at 5:30 before I leave. Cut down on some suspense?

5:35 p.m.: =)

} I had a raging headache at the time, I got incoherent. I shudder to think
} what else I must have written on the newsgroup, I think I was getting
} kinda funky there.

It all looked fine.  You dodged all the leading questions, and righteously
thrangled those who accused us of silliness.  Good job.
 
} >} In other words: don't be so sure . . . ;)
} >Ah, I'm not so sure.  I'm not at all sure. 
} That's the point, to be as confusing as hell. It's in the girl 
} handbook.

Oddly, it's in the boy's version, too.  Either that, or I got the wrong
handbook... :) 
 
} >But that still doesn't answer
} >the question:  What sort of prize do you want?  
} Okay, how about another date then? That less confusing?

Ah, I think I can handle that.  Chicago, or January? :)  Maybe this time
I'll get the report written and posted before we have the actual date. :)

} >But if I do that, how am I going to catch Hell?
} Well, the way I do it is by pissing my parents off . . .
} or you could always catch a passing handbasket.

Naw, I wanna catch it, not go there.  And if I can catch it live, and put
it in a zoo, maybe I'll be famous.  And mom's too far away to give me
Hell, and dad generally approves of everything I do, for no justifiable
reason.

} I can see it now, my parting words to god: "Hey, where are you sending me 
} and why am I in this handbasket?" -Linda 

So, why don't you have cool .sigs like this in the newsgroup?

Daria's a good show.  One of the few things I miss about cable.

-Remington

Mine back:

>It all looked fine.  You dodged all the leading questions, and righteously
>thrangled those who accused us of silliness.  Good job.

Thanks! Dodging questions is a needed skill. Also like that word, "thrangled." 
> 
>} >} In other words: don't be so sure . . . ;)
>} >Ah, I'm not so sure.  I'm not at all sure. 
>} That's the point, to be as confusing as hell. It's in the girl 
>} handbook.
>
>Oddly, it's in the boy's version, too.  Either that, or I got the wrong
>handbook... :) 

Did it come with period supplies? That might be a tipoff . . .
> 
>} >But that still doesn't answer
>} >the question:  What sort of prize do you want?  
>} Okay, how about another date then? That less confusing?
>
>Ah, I think I can handle that.  Chicago, or January? :) 

Sadly, I don't think I'll be making it out of California, so that just leaves 
the one . . .

 Maybe this time
>I'll get the report written and posted before we have the actual date. :)

Hmmm, go for it, see what you get right!
>
>} >But if I do that, how am I going to catch Hell?
>} Well, the way I do it is by pissing my parents off . . .
>} or you could always catch a passing handbasket.
>
>Naw, I wanna catch it, not go there.  And if I can catch it live, and put
>it in a zoo, maybe I'll be famous.  And mom's too far away to give me
>Hell, and dad generally approves of everything I do, for no justifiable
>reason.

Lucky. 
>
>} I can see it now, my parting words to god: "Hey, where are you sending me 
>} and why am I in this handbasket?" -Linda 
>
>So, why don't you have cool .sigs like this in the newsgroup?

That is what I'd like to know. I typed all this funky stuff in on Netscape 
(Eudora apparently doesn't like newsgroups), it apparently worked ONCE (I put a
message on ucd.english so no one would see if it screwed up) and has never 
worked on ucd.life! Aaaaaaargh! How annoying, and it took me so long to figure 
out how to change it too! How did you get it to work? 
>
>Daria's a good show.  One of the few things I miss about cable.

Yup. I get compared to that show all the time.
Jennifer

Jennifer Diane Rutherford  wrote:
> I'll put it this way: the more people I know that act like assholes, who
> I thought were nice (and it's multiplying DAILY), the more 'optimistic'

You're new, aren't you? :)  Everyone is an asshole.  Nothing in this world
was ever done or made for any purpose that wasn't self-serving in some way.
Those people that are out there to "save" us?  Hell, they're getting pleasure
out of it.  They're self-righteous bastards.  People who give to charity get
to pat themselves on the back.  Me, I'm just pleased that I get to bag on 
people for a minute or two - that's why I'm writing this.

The best we can do is forget all this, and believe in the pure snow-white
goodness of humankind.  Even if once in a while you come to your senses, and
your stomach turns, and bile rises in your throat.

Another guy's:
> That's why I just act like a prick at first.  It saves people the trouble of
> the "thinking I'm a nice guy" stage.

Wait, one more e-mail from Matt:

Did he seem sober? (I feel bad to be talking down about him like this but he 
pissed me off dammit! I was trying to be nice to him!)...

-I think people think I look a lot different than what dI say I do . . . I
-got compared to Daphne from Schooby Doo on a website I work on, and NOBODY
-who's met me in real life would mistake me for anyone but Velma . . . go
-figure. Maybe I just come off more dingy on the Internet? Who knows.

This cracked me up so much that I had to share teh comparisons
in irc... Remington was like "she's lying" and stuff and then announced
that he was going to go read ucd.life (because I assume he thought you
mentioned it on there or something! heh).. Then Marianne who I suppose
had a class with you was like "Wait, she's skinny. Velma was pudgy"...
It was pretty funny :)

© 1997 jdrutherford@ucdavis.edu

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