The Nature of Players

"Single white female, doesn't want to meet anybody--for a very long time." -Pamela Anderson Lee

"The fastest way to a man's heart is by tearing a hole through his ribcage." -Button slogan

"Yes, I do have a boyfriend and he's vibrating in my purse." -Another button slogan (which I'm bringing to Auntie Dolores's!)

And the quote that I most despise of late...
"The one thing that I know about love for sure is that it's the only game in town and that you msut keep going back to bat again and again and again. I have no respect for anyone who says they've given up, or that they're not looking or that they're tired. That is to abrogate one's responsibility as a human being." -Harlan Ellison

Heh, I meant the date he had in Chicago but that was still an
->interesting answer!..
-
-Oh, I wouldn't know anything about that, like I said he's not e-mailing me
-anymore.

He's just a psychotic weirdo (heh, the truth comes out! No
really Matt. Tell us how you really feel!)

I think I agree. Then again, I'm having a hard time finding anyone I know that 
ISN'T one anymore. 

-I'm not so sure. If he's not talking to me, then I consider it canceled...
-(we didn't even have the exact day pinned down yet) I thought about
-e-mailing him again, but if he's only going to ignore it why bother.
-(eye-roll)

Well if you care to go on the date, give him a try again! He's
not the type of person to fear or be scared of writing, etc...

I'm not scared, I'm just well, apathetic maybe? Don't really care if it goes on
or not now. If he wants to go he'll e-mail me, but I'm not so into it now that 
I feel like bothering. 

-Yeah. I think I should take a vow of non-dating myself... the last four or
-so have been doozies ... I have no taste ... I get into trouble ... my
-friends are now saying they will smack me if I ever date a player again ...
-you get the drift. Not that this has all been sprouted by this whole thing,
-I was kinda in that mode anyway when he asked, but I figured what the hell. 

Players certainly aren't quality people... And while I'd
consider Remington too "desperate" to even be classified as a player,

No, desperate and player are two different terms.
Player= compulsively dates as many chicks as he can find (my English prof put 
it perfectly when he told us that a waitress once said to him "You writers want
all the women, don't you?") for odd psychological reasons that would 
probably frighten me to understand. They can get chicks, many many chicks ... 
they just well, can't seem to handle the chicks and then well, act like they do. 
If he's already got two girlfriends, plus the rest of the stray harem, I don't 
think he's desperate to get anybody... just to put the make on 'em all? I don't
know.

Desperate= wants a chick VERY VERY VERY BADLY and cannot get one at all, and 
will now do/date ANYTHING he can to try to solve this problem. My friend Mike is
the poster child for pathetic desperation. Has crushes on like ten chicks at a 
time, all of which can't stand him because he can be soooo omnipresent (he had 
crushes on half my roommates last year, and would come over and moo at their 
doors to get their attention a lot).He's just way too well-acquainted with his 
Penthouse collection, and I think someone should get him a hooker or something
because he's practically like a dog who goes around humping everyone's leg now. 
It's pretty sick...I am sooooo glad that I am the one chick in the universe that
doesn't turn him on! 

I still wouldn't hesitate to call him the same (a non-quality person)...

My suspicion as well. Well, I didn't think he was in the first place, but it 
was entertaining.

>-I'm not scared, I'm just well, apathetic maybe? Don't really care if it
>-goes on or not now. If he wants to go he'll e-mail me, but I'm not so
>-into it now that I feel like bothering. 

My opinion: not worth it.

That's about mine too. I don't care, whatever happens happens.

>-Player= compulsively dates as many chicks as he can find
>-Desperate= wants a chick VERY VERY VERY BADLY and cannot get one
>-at all, and will now do/date ANYTHING he can to try to
>-solve this problem.

Well, I'd throw him somewhere in the middle then! 

Oh great, a new species? Even more confusing.

Because he DOES want "chicks" very very badly and most reject him... 

Yeah, but he doesn't seem to know what to do with any of them when he gets any.
Just my impression...a sometimes-player attribute. My ex was a little like that
at times.

If he hits on 20 women and 3 take him up on a date (unknowing people like 
yourself), he'll take all 3 (taking whatever he can get) and then he looks like
a "player"... 

Gag.

I define a "player" more as someone who has a better
>win/loss ratio, though I don't have much more respect for a player over
>someone who's desperate!...

Well, I usually count it if they have any wins at all, versus the desperate who
don't have ANY...but I know some of the desperate would be players though if 
they only had the opportunity. 

Saw Jensen today in the hall, which has not happened for awhile. You can just imagine my joy at seeing him- "oh, whoopee, there he is, can't avoid him, I'll just start messing with my hair and pretend that I don't see him." So I started pulling my hair out of my coat where it had gotten stuck, trying to look distracted enough to miss him... which didn't work, as by the time I finish he's right there, trying to get my attention (of all things!) to say hi to me. I was all thinking, "What, like you care now?", did the minimum hello back.
Incidentally, I told this to Sarah later (you'll see) and she said, "Well, other than that thing he didn't sound too bad." I said yeah, well, at any rate I'm over it, and he's grown a beard. Ugh. I can't go back.

Speaking of Sarah, she came over again tonight, and I was glad to see signs of getting over Hardeep- she was going through my magic book looking for a breakup spell, doing mean things to a gingerbread cookie (he knows about the restraining order, said he didn't want to come over, then tried to get into her place today. They refused him!), naming her requirements for the perfect man, etc. We were very much anti-male tonight, but then I guess you ain't surprised by that!

Also talked to Anna (and no, I'm not mentioning what you told me not to mention. Okay?), and discussed web pages and the like a lot. She has a page up exclusively for Warren (no, no link! I'm not that mean!), and I was all, "Awwwww, no guy would ever love me enough to do a whole Web page for me!" I'm soooo much in a hopeless place right now, can you tell? And according to my horoscope, it's likely to remain so. I needed a pick-me-up that WASN'T of the dating sort, and so in the past few days I bought some VERY trashy magazines I'd never read before, and charged 'em, just for the hell of it =). Anyway, I read US (such fluff), and bought a special "Cosmo College" in Borders, which was just ludicrous. I mean, it's written by people who haven't been to college in some years and have gotten ridiculously out of touch on things, plus the models were too damn old to fake being 18 and awkwardly unsophisticated. Anyway, they did have horoscopes for the year in romantic predictions. I first read Sarah's and it was dead-on, that she doesn't want to be tied down and "is in no place to be considering anything long-term." So I read mine, and well, felt shitty.

"Tauruses like stability, and you're no exception. The guy you're seeing (or about to be seeing) may feel like Mr. Right, but if you're clingy, he'll be gone faster than you can say Static Guard. Yeah, but what if they don't know that I'm being clingy? Besides, there's a high level of uncertainty in your life right now (TRUEST WORDS ALL YEAR!!!!!), so trying to settle down with one guy could prove futile. Don't be afraid to let your eyes wander a little, you stubborn ol' bull. How can you check out the possibilities if you don't look around?"
Grade: B-

Have you ever noticed that when you read those daily things they're usually crap, the astrological profiles (y'know, like Taurus: loves material things, eating, looks good, obsessive) are usually dead on like the people you know? Once in the late, great Sassy magazine, a reader-produced issue, someone wrote profiles of the signs based on who they knew, and mine was just like me, except I hate horror movies. (Then again, I watch Buffy, maybe I shouldn't be talking.)

Oh yeah, and while discussing my latest disaster, she said that "Matt hates that guy, he just wants to get to you." I said no, he doesn't, I'm real sure of that, and at any rate he's moving to Atlanta for six months or so, so that ain't a problem here. The whole guys-on-newsgroup thing coming to a close.

So while I'm having this hugely technical conversation with Anna(to Sarah's ears anyway: I really don't know anything than what I learned off the "street", if you think about it. No tables, frames, gobbledygook here) about web pages, discussing mine, hers, etc, she obviously hears that I've got one. And wants to see it. Well, I sure didn't think it would be a good idea to look up THIS one (to be honest, I don't know how she'd take my putting her marital stuff up on the Web. And I don't know how I'd ask that without WHY I'm asking that. Then again, she can go on about extremely personal bodily details in public sometimes, so she might not mind! Who knows?), so I look up my old page, and am happy to see that it is still up, and not as many sites on it have died as I thought would have by now. I show her that one (I finally got a new password for it! But haven't gotten on to edit it yet, haven't tried much.), and Spotfans, including my latest entry. I couldn't remember what one I had last put up, but sure was glad that my latest post on her marital stuff that was supposed to go up today got moved to Sunday instead. My singleton rant was up instead, and she got a big kick out of it ... especially when I got to the part about fixups and she goes, "Yeah, and then there's me telling you about the guys at work..." I said "You'll really get a kick out of this next part then!" And she did. Don't ya love that!?

Anyway, we're thinking of getting the guys together and going SOMEWHERE tomorrow night. I think that party for Kayda was supposed to go on then, but well, I haven't heard anything, so who knows. She had a big group of friends over tonight, for all I know it was today!

Wait, one more: While reading the cheery journal Ouch, I found this line:

"What is happiness? I think happiness is the feeling that things are going to be good. Things don't have to be good right now.
You just have to believe that things will be good, sometime, and you can be happy."

© 1997 jdrutherford@ucdavis.edu

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